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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas to you all!

This has been the first Christmas in recent memory where I was a part of a family gift giving celebration. My sisters, Marie and Lori, both came over with their male counterparts for a lovely Christmas Eve get together. It felt good to be a part of such an occasion, I don't remember the last time I was involved in such a lovely event. It made me happier than my sisters could know.

My gift to myself this year is an odd one. Rather than waiting sadly for calls from my children that never come, I've decided that I'm done waiting. I've also decided to explain what has happened to alienate me from my kids. I'm not going to do it on Christmas Day but soon I will. I'm done protecting adults who care nothing about my feelings so soon you will all know, as will my family, why my children have chosen to cut me out of their lives. I've never explained it because to do so would not show my children in a good light.

Their lack of concern for me and my feelings has finally reached the point where I no longer feel the need to protect them and their secrets. The only way to defend myself would be to tell the truth about them. Also, they have told people things about me that I had entrusted to them. For example, my daughter was always the person I trusted enough to be the person who I assigned as my emergency contact for medical reasons and she was also entrusted to speak to my doctors to receive information about me and my medical condition. I found a message from her to my ex-husband's wife that was about as nasty as it could be and it also contained confidential medical information. That broke my heart.

Enjoy your day, I'm enjoying mine. Come back soon and support me as I tell anyone who wants to know what my children have done to me to bring me to the point where I will finally do something to earn their behavior.


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