I'm a single guy, so you know I'll be as promiscuous as the girls I'm interested in will let me be. ;-)
Yes, I did know that, LOL. But tell me this...what do you think of a woman who gives it up on the first date? How long does she have to hold out to show you she is a “respectable” woman? If she makes you wait 3 dates is she respectable? 3 months?
You really don't think much of a woman having past partners. It's almost weird if she didn't.
See, this is where I get all confused. Sure, there are plenty of women who have been around...but when I was single before, you didn’t do that until you were married. That was silly. I actually eloped to Reno after knowing a guy for 10 days when I was 18 so that we could do “it”. (We got to Sacramento before I realized that I had forgotten my birth certificate. Like an idiot, I didn’t see the message and went back to get it.) I DO remember when nice girls didn’t...period. That made it very easy to know the rules.
I LOVE sex, but I found it no different when it was with a virgin than when it was with a 46 year old woman who had already had children.
Now, maybe it is just me, but I find that a little sad. I would like to think that, being a 46 year old woman, I am a bit better than I was that night in Reno.
But I never said that I didn't want a promiscuous woman. I just don't want her to be promiscuous if/when we agree on a monogamous relationship.
I know, I didn’t say you DID mind. I just said that you never said that you didn’t. Now I think I have a grip on your...thoughts. So, I guess what I am really wondering is, what is the definition of promiscuous nowadays? And, is it necessarily a bad thing? If it is only bad when you are in a monogamous relationship, then what do you do while you aren’t? I guess what I really want to know is, how do men define a slut? I think we all know what that word means. How do young women know where to draw the line? If a lady can sleep around all she wants until she is in a monogamous relationship, how does she know when to act like a lady? If she sleeps with you on the first date, will there be a second? Or, should a woman wait until you say, “OK, now you are my woman, stop screwing other men and let’s get it on.”
Honestly, what's the difference. Can any man tell me that the sex was worse with a woman who had 50 prior partners than a woman who had 5 or a woman who had none?
I am not at all concerned with quality. I know I am good. :) I just need to know how I should act when I start dating again...give me something I can use! My divorce will be final with the month and I am not in the mood to wait much longer. Like I said, when I was single, I knew the rules...you didn't do that unless you were married. After my first marriage I did dabble a bit, but I had a feel for what the right thing to do was. I probably should trust myself to know now...but I am just curious as to what to expect. Will I be a prude when I say no? When can I safely say yes and not be concerned that the man will think less of me? I hate to appear ignornant, but I cannot seem to avoid it.
I dont think you will really get an honest answer out of anyone...
I was afraid of that....we are all entitled to our little secrets. But, what I really want to know isn't how many people any one person has slept with...I just want to grasp what the "rules" are nowadays.
Meg
Yes, I did know that, LOL. But tell me this...what do you think of a woman who gives it up on the first date? How long does she have to hold out to show you she is a “respectable” woman? If she makes you wait 3 dates is she respectable? 3 months?
You really don't think much of a woman having past partners. It's almost weird if she didn't.
See, this is where I get all confused. Sure, there are plenty of women who have been around...but when I was single before, you didn’t do that until you were married. That was silly. I actually eloped to Reno after knowing a guy for 10 days when I was 18 so that we could do “it”. (We got to Sacramento before I realized that I had forgotten my birth certificate. Like an idiot, I didn’t see the message and went back to get it.) I DO remember when nice girls didn’t...period. That made it very easy to know the rules.
I LOVE sex, but I found it no different when it was with a virgin than when it was with a 46 year old woman who had already had children.
Now, maybe it is just me, but I find that a little sad. I would like to think that, being a 46 year old woman, I am a bit better than I was that night in Reno.
But I never said that I didn't want a promiscuous woman. I just don't want her to be promiscuous if/when we agree on a monogamous relationship.
I know, I didn’t say you DID mind. I just said that you never said that you didn’t. Now I think I have a grip on your...thoughts. So, I guess what I am really wondering is, what is the definition of promiscuous nowadays? And, is it necessarily a bad thing? If it is only bad when you are in a monogamous relationship, then what do you do while you aren’t? I guess what I really want to know is, how do men define a slut? I think we all know what that word means. How do young women know where to draw the line? If a lady can sleep around all she wants until she is in a monogamous relationship, how does she know when to act like a lady? If she sleeps with you on the first date, will there be a second? Or, should a woman wait until you say, “OK, now you are my woman, stop screwing other men and let’s get it on.”
Honestly, what's the difference. Can any man tell me that the sex was worse with a woman who had 50 prior partners than a woman who had 5 or a woman who had none?
I am not at all concerned with quality. I know I am good. :) I just need to know how I should act when I start dating again...give me something I can use! My divorce will be final with the month and I am not in the mood to wait much longer. Like I said, when I was single, I knew the rules...you didn't do that unless you were married. After my first marriage I did dabble a bit, but I had a feel for what the right thing to do was. I probably should trust myself to know now...but I am just curious as to what to expect. Will I be a prude when I say no? When can I safely say yes and not be concerned that the man will think less of me? I hate to appear ignornant, but I cannot seem to avoid it.
I dont think you will really get an honest answer out of anyone...
I was afraid of that....we are all entitled to our little secrets. But, what I really want to know isn't how many people any one person has slept with...I just want to grasp what the "rules" are nowadays.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:36 AM
4 Comments:
I think that everyone is having a hard time giving you the answer you are looking for because it is hard to answer without using ourselves as a example (whether it be a good one or a bad one, my uncle used to say; "If you cannot be a good example, then you better be one hell of a warning."
Okay, okay, I will bite the bullet. (Please, if you pass judgement, do it amongst yourselves...)The man with whom I am currently involved with; I used to have the biggest crush on him, but being I was young and afraid of rejection, I never said a word to him. We knew each other through friends. Well, one night, we all went out for pool and coctails. I didnt get all s#!t faced or anything, but I was feeling the confidence alcohol usually brings to someone. I challenged him to a game of pool, and when I won, I gave him a huge kiss. Then took him home....Afterwards, when I woke up, and was getting ready to leave, he walked me out to my car, and kissed me. I was embarassed and kept beating myself up because I thought "what does he think of me? HE THINKS I AM EASY!!!" so out of embarassment, I didnt call him. He never had any way of getting ahold of me. He only knew where I worked. So one day, he showed up with my best friend, and she said "He has been bothering me to show him where you worked..." so he gave me his number. I still never called. One day, after work, I turned on my cell to find a message from him, telling me to call. So I did. We got together for an actual date. That was about 2 1/2 years ago, but we have been together since that. I realize that it is not 5 or 10 years. But...
Anyway, for me it was my gut reaction. And Meg already knows about me and my gut reactions.....
You are going to have to forgive me if I am not subtle. I am not very good at it. I will not say that you are doing a bad thing. But you have to take into consideration the consequences, and what kind of consious you have. i.e; lets just say that a relatinship developed between you and one of these ladies. Well, then you find out that another one of them, or maybe both also wanted to take it further, and were starting to think they could have feelings for you. Well, then you will have to have that talk where you have to explain this and that, etc. So you possibly end up hurting someone's feelings. Then, what if the one you went with ends up not working out at all? You start back at square one..?It's all about what you are willing to risk, not only from yourself, but think of their feelings, too. Women nowdays are different. Many of them are really looking into getting into a serious relationship. Did you clarify what you wanted with these women, and get to know their expectations? or are you all just kind of going with the flow? Do they all know about each other? I don't know, if they dont maybe you should be open with them and let them know that you are dating more than one lady, that way there are no surprises, and then they can keep their options open, too and date more than you. I think it is all about being fair to them...
Maybe I am just talking out of my ass...maybe I am just a pessimist, but sometimes you gotta be cautious especially when it comes to other people. Hopefull I had something to say that will be of good use to you...??
Whoa!! Whoa!! What happened to Laszlo?? Does anyone know?
And how come everyone is so quiet? Where do you go and what do you do? Just curious.......
Yeah, I've been wondering about Laszlo myself. You still there dude? Hungary is a democracy isn't it? They aren't being occupied by Syria or anything nuts like that are they?
Guy, we would worry about you too.:)
Meg
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