MAY DECEMBER ROMANCES

I think it depends entirely on the priorities people have for their relationship and what they want to get out of them -- in other words, it's an individual thing, no "one size fits all" answer. I personally prefer to date men either my age or older just so we'll know what each other is talking about culturally -- I can't imagine having to explain who those other three guys are in the picture with Paul McCartney, or having someone else have to explain to me the difference between Hip Hop and Rap (I'm told there IS one).

Well, there is a lovely lady who posts here and she is only 23 years old. Her profile lists her musical interests that would match those of most people my age. Conversely, I imagine that there COULD be a person my age who has heard the songs on today’s Top Forty. So, this difference is not necessarily age related, chances are that people from different eras would have a huge musical listening differences but...not necessarily. The potential for other “cultural” differences in a couple that has a huge age difference are certainly greater as well. But I can imagine that two people of differing ages could share many interests and those of closer ages could have major differences in tastes.

My husband is 8 years older than I am (my eager puppy days are over) , and to some even that sounds like a huge age difference.

THAT raises eyebrows? I have a feeling that none of us would be very happy if we based our lives on other’s opinions. There are too many different people with too many different opinions, whatever you do is going to raise SOMEBODIES eyebrows.

I don't think relationships should be a matter of age. I think its what you find appealing in a person and your level of compatibility that matter. Or what you are attracted to in general. If you like old men, hey. Go for it. If you like young boys--go for that as well. Speaking from experience, they are as eager as little puppies to please in any manner possible.

Sounds very reasonable to me except, at the moment, I would prefer we not use the term “young boys”. Too Michael Jackson-ish.

Seriously, I used to think that age difference didn't matter. I went out with a woman twice my age for a while (it was pretty much like you dating a 20 year old right now), but it did matter eventually. It just becomes way too difficult dealing with the lifestyle differences.

I wonder, is the relationship usually DOOMED to fail eventually? And if so, can two people be happy for a while and Sing in the Sunshine, then just be on their way? I wonder, were you very happy at the time? What DID you find appealing at the time?

It took a few months for me to figure out that I couldn't live like that and that we weren't in the same place in life.

Yeah, that can be a problem, once again, for a long term relationship anyway. But what about a nice, mutually enjoyable relationship that serves a purpose temporarily? You know what they say, “There is a man for every purpose and a purpose for every man."

Had I been 30 then, it might have worked because I am more settled and I have a better sense of who I am.

So, how young were you? 30 is about the age I am referring to. I am 46. And...is there an age where it doesn’t matter anymore? Like someone said, 15 and 28 is a crime. But 30 and 43? That doesn’t sound so bad at all.

So Meg, we shared... what's all this about? ;-)

Well. This is about me, of course. I was asked out by a 29 year old man yesterday. I didn’t know he was THAT young. He had a beard and that messed up my entire age gauge. He asked how old I thought he was and I said 36. He didn’t correct me until he was in a position to lie or fess up. At least HE didn’t lie! He said he was 29 and that he hoped it didn’t make any difference. He didn’t make any moves on me, he was very respectful which is more than I can say about the older dudes who are still as “frisky” as they were 30 years ago only they are nowhere near as appealing. Like I have said, the nice thing about being dumped is that you get to go out with new men. But at my age, all the men are old. Now, I have met some that are “younger” than others in affect and attitude, but far too many are just plain old to me.

Anyway, this guy was very sweet and every bit the gentleman. I was a tad taken aback and didn't know what to think. Then I ran to you guys to see what you all thought.

We spoke for hours, we DO share many interests and we enjoyed listening to my music, older stuff. He loved it all. He was kind, rather cute and had a “zest for life” that most men my age just don’t have. They are far too wrapped up in their own lives and can’t seem to find any time to just relax and have fun. He was more of a gentleman than I have met in awhile (with one notable exception). I have been wondering if since the younger guys are just still dating and they are still in the habit of being romantic and attentive, are they better at this? I haven't had the experience to really figure it out.

Now...the downside. He is two years older than my oldest child. I have been wondering what I would do if my son brought a 46 year old woman home and I hope I would be more interested in his happiness than anything else. Heck, there have been woman his own age that I thought were bad news.

I was pretty surprised that no one mentioned some of the more obvious issues that I was expecting to hear about. For example, I was expecting more Mrs. Robinson stories and to be honest, I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to hear stories better suited for Penthouse Forum. You guys surprise me more everyday. I learn so much from you. Thanks to all of you who responded to my request. Stay tuned for my decision!

Meg