You know, it appears as though I have been a little rough on men lately. That was pointed out to be by a man, naturally. I certainly didn’t mean to do that. It’s just that I am a woman and when I bitch, it will usually be about men. But in general, I prefer them to most women.
I don’t want to insult women but I don’t mind saying that, in general, we have the power to be more cruel than any man could ever be. Not all of us take advantage of that power, but far too many do.
I am referring to the women that, for no good reason, keep their kids from the fathers. (I know some men do this as well, so don’t get too upset.)
A woman may not agree with a man or anything he does in the child rearing category, but they don’t have to. The father still has a right to see his children. And of course I don’t mean child abusers, that is totally different. But if the abuse is only in your head or in your mouth when you call DFACS, you are a nut.
I have seen far too many women say whatever they needed to say and employ whatever means necessary to keep a father away from his child. Friends I would have never expected this from have done it. Rick’s ex did it. Now, he sucked as a husband and he was very violent toward ME, but he never hit his kids, not even when his son tried to burn the house down. He loves his kids.
It is amazing how a person can take a loving relationship between a father and child and totally trash it to pieces. These people lie to the kids, to the police, the judges, anybody who will listen. And in doing so, they take time away from children who may truly be being abused. So, that kind of makes them an accomplice in the abuse that goes on while the caseworkers are all attending to false claims.
A loving mother wants her children to be surrounded by as many people who love them as possible. When you use the children as weapons to hurt the other parent with, you are not at all a loving parent. You are far from it.
Right now there is a nut case in Paulding County Georgia who is doing this very thing. The father started out smart enough to record his visits with his daughter until the mother went out of her way to make him feel guilty about that. As soon as he took the camera away, the lies and the fake 911 calls started.
I always wonder about the mother’s family. Aren’t they decent enough to at least TALK to the nuts and try to get them to see that they are being ridiculous? Apparently, they believe whatever the mother tells them. If my daughter ever did anything like this, I would smack the tar out of her.
If there is a family that has gotten along just fine up until a divorce happens, why would someone believe that a member of that fine family would all of a sudden become something they had never been before? It doesn’t make any sense and it doesn’t ever happen. The man who the nut married is still the same man, he didn’t all of a sudden decide to beat up the child he loved so much just because there was a divorce. I guess there may, somewhere in the world, be a man who does change completely after a divorce, but it would generally be a change towards the wife, not the kids.
As baffled as I am at the parents who disappear into that good night...I am more so by parents who teach their children to hate, fear and lie about the other parent. A parent who does this kind of thing would do the kid a favor by disappearing.
Once again, this is a case of numbers, more women do this than men. I am sure there are men who are just as guilty of this and they are just as disgusting. And, being a woman, when I complain, it will come out as though I have a thing against men. I don’t. But I do have a thing against people who care so little about their children that they steal a loving parent from them. Not only have they stolen that parent, they have stolen that parent’s family as well. What do you call it when you steal a kid away from a parent? And then the kid ends up without an entire half of his/her family and most likely will grow up like their mother, bitter, hateful and unaware of how wonderful life can be when you have two loving parents who put the children first.
I don’t want to insult women but I don’t mind saying that, in general, we have the power to be more cruel than any man could ever be. Not all of us take advantage of that power, but far too many do.
I am referring to the women that, for no good reason, keep their kids from the fathers. (I know some men do this as well, so don’t get too upset.)
A woman may not agree with a man or anything he does in the child rearing category, but they don’t have to. The father still has a right to see his children. And of course I don’t mean child abusers, that is totally different. But if the abuse is only in your head or in your mouth when you call DFACS, you are a nut.
I have seen far too many women say whatever they needed to say and employ whatever means necessary to keep a father away from his child. Friends I would have never expected this from have done it. Rick’s ex did it. Now, he sucked as a husband and he was very violent toward ME, but he never hit his kids, not even when his son tried to burn the house down. He loves his kids.
It is amazing how a person can take a loving relationship between a father and child and totally trash it to pieces. These people lie to the kids, to the police, the judges, anybody who will listen. And in doing so, they take time away from children who may truly be being abused. So, that kind of makes them an accomplice in the abuse that goes on while the caseworkers are all attending to false claims.
A loving mother wants her children to be surrounded by as many people who love them as possible. When you use the children as weapons to hurt the other parent with, you are not at all a loving parent. You are far from it.
Right now there is a nut case in Paulding County Georgia who is doing this very thing. The father started out smart enough to record his visits with his daughter until the mother went out of her way to make him feel guilty about that. As soon as he took the camera away, the lies and the fake 911 calls started.
I always wonder about the mother’s family. Aren’t they decent enough to at least TALK to the nuts and try to get them to see that they are being ridiculous? Apparently, they believe whatever the mother tells them. If my daughter ever did anything like this, I would smack the tar out of her.
If there is a family that has gotten along just fine up until a divorce happens, why would someone believe that a member of that fine family would all of a sudden become something they had never been before? It doesn’t make any sense and it doesn’t ever happen. The man who the nut married is still the same man, he didn’t all of a sudden decide to beat up the child he loved so much just because there was a divorce. I guess there may, somewhere in the world, be a man who does change completely after a divorce, but it would generally be a change towards the wife, not the kids.
As baffled as I am at the parents who disappear into that good night...I am more so by parents who teach their children to hate, fear and lie about the other parent. A parent who does this kind of thing would do the kid a favor by disappearing.
Once again, this is a case of numbers, more women do this than men. I am sure there are men who are just as guilty of this and they are just as disgusting. And, being a woman, when I complain, it will come out as though I have a thing against men. I don’t. But I do have a thing against people who care so little about their children that they steal a loving parent from them. Not only have they stolen that parent, they have stolen that parent’s family as well. What do you call it when you steal a kid away from a parent? And then the kid ends up without an entire half of his/her family and most likely will grow up like their mother, bitter, hateful and unaware of how wonderful life can be when you have two loving parents who put the children first.
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:08 AM
7 Comments:
My daughter's dad doesnt try to see her. Really, he doesnt see anyone. Nobody really knows where he is at any given time. That being said, I still do take her to see his mother and his sister, and his grandfather. So, even though he can see her anythime he wished, but doesnt, she still knows her other half of her family.
By the way, how old would you say is too old to have a baby? I am 24, I am an only child. My mother is 46, she will be 47 in Oct. I went to visit yesterday, and she confided in me that she hasnt had a "visit from aunt flow" in about 3 weeks. She thinks she is either pregnant, or it is Menopause...but she is scared it is pregnancy. She does not believe in abortion, but she is afraid that people will think she is too old to have a baby, and they might laugh at her.........I think she is crazy!!
Hi Guy!
Nice to see you. Thanks for the kind words, but I wouldn't mind if you wanted to vent yourself, especially if something I say makes you feel the slightest need to be defensive.
And how old is too old to have a baby? I think that the maker of us all knows exectly what he/she is doing. If a woman gets pregnant, she is obviously not too old! Your Mom should not worry a hoot about what other people say. Personally, I think it is weirder to have only one kid than to have one at the decrepid old age of 46. How nice for her! Not only is she a very lucky women to have a child at her age, but she has a built in babysitter as well. Nowadays, people are having kids older and older so even if she is concerned, she is really about the norm now. And, one other thing...there is nothing like running around after a little one to keep you feeling younger. I hope she is as happy as a woman in her condition should be! Now I think that even I would be disappointed if she isn't preggers. Please let me know!
Meg
Thank you both for your words. I will be sure to keep you posted, Meg.
RS
(P.S.-How do you get a name on this thing so I wont be "anonymous" anymore?)
How come every name I chose to use as a "User Name" says "Sorry this user name is not available." what am I supposed to put if It wont let me use anything?
I give up on getting a blog account. I started, and FINALLY got a name that works, but they want me to do a blog, and I do not really want to. I just like to post my comments now and then.
LOL, I thought you guys forgot about me:)
I was sad when I signed on and you made that stop, thank you. I'm glad you found a way to name yourself, it really gives a person a "body" online. I don't know why but it does.
Meg
Meg,
I have to agree with you that it is a shame women use their kids as weapons against their ex-husbands. The reason more women do this than men is probably because more women are the custodial parents.
One of the best examples of how NOT to do this was given to me by my ex-sister-in-law. She and my brother were married in a "have-to" case when shotgun weddings were still the norm, and they were both way too immature to sustain a marriage. However, after the divorce, she did some growing up, and as of now, some thirty years after the fact, I haven't seen a lot of signs of my brother's having done so. My niece (their daughter) was not quite two years old when they got divorced, and she is now 31; her father has not contributed a nickel to her support since the divorce.
When my niece was 14, her mother and I were talking and she told me that she had made up her mind that no matter what he did or didn't do, she was never going to badmouth him to her daughter, because her mother had done that when they (her parents) got divorced, and she (my sister-in-law) did not have a relationship with her own father until three years before he died -- all those years wasted. She said that if her daughter asked her a question, she would answer it honestly, without rancor (e.g., "Because that's the way he is, honey" vs. "Because he's a sorry-assed, good-for-nothing son of a bitch, honey"). As far as I can tell, no matter what kind of provocation he gave her, she was true to her word and has never badmouthed my brother to her daughter in any way, shape or form. For my money, she deserves at least canonization, if not sanctification.
My brother? He deserves a swift kick in the pants. When I told him he needed at least to call and/or visit his then-14-year-old daughter (since it was obvious he had no intention of supporting her), he whined, "Well, she never sends me a birthday card or Father's Day card." I asked him what he'd done to deserve either one and told him he should try to figure out which one of them was the child and which one was the adult, and if he figured it out, I hoped he'd let me know, because the lines were starting to blur significantly.
Sorry this is so long. Anyway, I'm glad you started this blog, because it's been interesting watching the on-going evolution. Keep up the good work.
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