Good morning!!!
A very good E-friend of mine sent me the following email and poem that I most assuredly can relate to. If you have never been in the situation that the poet was in when she wrote it, you will probably find it to be gibberish. However, if you have been in that situation, you will find it as understandable as I do. I don't know who wrote it or I would credit the poet. If anyone DOES know who penned the poem, let me know.
UPDATE: I got an email from my friend who sent the poem regarding the author of the poem:
The author's name is "Misti Velvet Rainwater". She publishes/submits to a few websites, most frequently to http://www.loveblender.com/. Which is a GREATpoetry site!
Meg
Meg.Kelso@gmail.com
Dear Meg,
Glad you came to your senses. I like your most recent post. It reminded me of a poem (rant?) I came across about 6 years ago, but had forgotten. Written by a young woman, about 20 years old. It is very coarse, but I respect its power and flow. In fact I like it very much. (also shared with my daughters - as part of my "don't put up with BS from guys lessons")
from depraved to CRAVED
a bad brand of magic
has turned me
from Bunny Rabbit to Bitch
in a matter of days
a generic karma has kicked
my lily white ass
for wanting more
and far too soon
I know the rules by now
God knows
Allah knows
Buddah knows
the Goddess knows
the dirt knows
I know the rules by now
the do's and don'ts of dating in the '90's
I have sucked enough dick
done enough dancing to the tune
of "You're God and I Suck"
with enough quasi gods of the grapes
to know my role
in the Scheme of Things
in exchange for his time
and attention
and "babe, you rock my world"
there are lessons to master
meals to prepare
lingerie to model
so many ways to say I LOVE YOU
a hot oil massage for his birthday
a Reddi Whip blow job just because
learn his moods and be careful
if he is distant after sex
because you didn't come
or because your hair is black, not red
or because you're not Italian
and don't smoke weed
like his ex-wife
if he crawls into his shell
because subconsciously
he loathes the smell and taste
of your girl stuff
relax
be cool
ask him in a neutral voice
if he would like a Caesar salad for lunch
there's a bag of Caesar salad just sitting there in the fridge
you don't call because he hasn't called all week
and leave "Piece of My Heart" by Janis Joplin
on his machine
that is weird behavior
not Bunny Rabbit Sugar Dumpling "I've Got You Babe" behavior
that is OVER THE EDGE
not Over the Rainbow
that doesn't border on Eden
that borders on SKANKY
no man worth his salt
wants to see your
pulpy little strawberry heart
stained like JELL-O on your Wal-Mart sleeve
believe me, I am well-versed in this
the minute you howl at the moon
the minute you swing the balls
you aren't supposed to have
he's gonna bolt
he's gonna get ambivalent
on ya
and there will be no more Little Bunny Foo Foo
for you
you ridiculous slut
no more "Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!"
no more Safari For Free
in the Jungle of Love
this safari
has made me sorry
this journey into the recesses
of a man's brain
has made me rethink
the importance
of sperm
in my life
do i really need
the groveling
the grinding
minding my P's and Q's
for companionship on national holidays?
McFuck!
Mister Man, let me tell ya
I am a goddess!
I look like Sherrilyn Finn
think like David Lynch
fuck like Sharon Stone
love like Mother Teresa
and I AM A GODDESS!!!
-so put THAT salt in your Ramen
put THAT spice in your rice
I may give it all away
(and in no small way)
but I am NOT a skank
or a slut
or a whore
or a cold sore
on your lips
I am not an alcoholic hag
and I am not a Betty or Veronica
a colorful comic book stereotype
to take home to Mom and Dad
I am not a prop
to assure all your friends
that you are cool
and on top of things
I am royalty, boyfriend
I've got stars between my toes
from kicking the SKY
and ancient songs like coins
in my purse
this is for girls & women who have felt the same
this is for goddesses who are dog tired of the games
My Sisters in Heartache and Loss
this Bud is for you
hopscotch into the Light, now honey
you have played enough games
with enough boys
bang the chalk dust
out of those erasers
bite your mark in those pencils
wear your mind and spirit
like a shameless red banner
for all the world to see
as you jump off the merry go round
and only dance to songs you like
and save your sweat
and blood
and tears
for men who crave
the fuck outta you.
A very good E-friend of mine sent me the following email and poem that I most assuredly can relate to. If you have never been in the situation that the poet was in when she wrote it, you will probably find it to be gibberish. However, if you have been in that situation, you will find it as understandable as I do. I don't know who wrote it or I would credit the poet. If anyone DOES know who penned the poem, let me know.
UPDATE: I got an email from my friend who sent the poem regarding the author of the poem:
The author's name is "Misti Velvet Rainwater". She publishes/submits to a few websites, most frequently to http://www.loveblender.com/. Which is a GREATpoetry site!
Meg
Meg.Kelso@gmail.com
Dear Meg,
Glad you came to your senses. I like your most recent post. It reminded me of a poem (rant?) I came across about 6 years ago, but had forgotten. Written by a young woman, about 20 years old. It is very coarse, but I respect its power and flow. In fact I like it very much. (also shared with my daughters - as part of my "don't put up with BS from guys lessons")
from depraved to CRAVED
a bad brand of magic
has turned me
from Bunny Rabbit to Bitch
in a matter of days
a generic karma has kicked
my lily white ass
for wanting more
and far too soon
I know the rules by now
God knows
Allah knows
Buddah knows
the Goddess knows
the dirt knows
I know the rules by now
the do's and don'ts of dating in the '90's
I have sucked enough dick
done enough dancing to the tune
of "You're God and I Suck"
with enough quasi gods of the grapes
to know my role
in the Scheme of Things
in exchange for his time
and attention
and "babe, you rock my world"
there are lessons to master
meals to prepare
lingerie to model
so many ways to say I LOVE YOU
a hot oil massage for his birthday
a Reddi Whip blow job just because
learn his moods and be careful
if he is distant after sex
because you didn't come
or because your hair is black, not red
or because you're not Italian
and don't smoke weed
like his ex-wife
if he crawls into his shell
because subconsciously
he loathes the smell and taste
of your girl stuff
relax
be cool
ask him in a neutral voice
if he would like a Caesar salad for lunch
there's a bag of Caesar salad just sitting there in the fridge
you don't call because he hasn't called all week
and leave "Piece of My Heart" by Janis Joplin
on his machine
that is weird behavior
not Bunny Rabbit Sugar Dumpling "I've Got You Babe" behavior
that is OVER THE EDGE
not Over the Rainbow
that doesn't border on Eden
that borders on SKANKY
no man worth his salt
wants to see your
pulpy little strawberry heart
stained like JELL-O on your Wal-Mart sleeve
believe me, I am well-versed in this
the minute you howl at the moon
the minute you swing the balls
you aren't supposed to have
he's gonna bolt
he's gonna get ambivalent
on ya
and there will be no more Little Bunny Foo Foo
for you
you ridiculous slut
no more "Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!"
no more Safari For Free
in the Jungle of Love
this safari
has made me sorry
this journey into the recesses
of a man's brain
has made me rethink
the importance
of sperm
in my life
do i really need
the groveling
the grinding
minding my P's and Q's
for companionship on national holidays?
McFuck!
Mister Man, let me tell ya
I am a goddess!
I look like Sherrilyn Finn
think like David Lynch
fuck like Sharon Stone
love like Mother Teresa
and I AM A GODDESS!!!
-so put THAT salt in your Ramen
put THAT spice in your rice
I may give it all away
(and in no small way)
but I am NOT a skank
or a slut
or a whore
or a cold sore
on your lips
I am not an alcoholic hag
and I am not a Betty or Veronica
a colorful comic book stereotype
to take home to Mom and Dad
I am not a prop
to assure all your friends
that you are cool
and on top of things
I am royalty, boyfriend
I've got stars between my toes
from kicking the SKY
and ancient songs like coins
in my purse
this is for girls & women who have felt the same
this is for goddesses who are dog tired of the games
My Sisters in Heartache and Loss
this Bud is for you
hopscotch into the Light, now honey
you have played enough games
with enough boys
bang the chalk dust
out of those erasers
bite your mark in those pencils
wear your mind and spirit
like a shameless red banner
for all the world to see
as you jump off the merry go round
and only dance to songs you like
and save your sweat
and blood
and tears
for men who crave
the fuck outta you.
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:51 AM
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