Here I am...
...wide awake in a house with no one else in it. That’s usually how I prefer it but in the middle of the night, it gets a little freaky. I’m not sure what it is, but there’s something living in my attic. It’s burrowing around up there right now. I don’t mind telling you that it’s more than a little frightening to me. I’m not gonna be stupid and open the attic stair/door/hall ceiling thing with the string hanging down from it, there’s no way to stop anything that might decide to attack when I pull the string.
I’m pretty sure it’s just one lone soldier, but there’s always the chance that it’s just a large army with one idiot who won’t shut up. Either way, I don’t have a fire thrower so I’m not going up there. I wish I had one of those huge assault rifles that Ripley had in Aliens. That looked like a pretty mean gun. I could probably go up there if I was packing one of those suckers. Short of that, I’m just gonna hope whatever it is isn’t eating my Christmas tree or and of my ornaments. With my luck, it’s chewing the cords off of my Christmas lights. My dog has been eating the cords off of electrical appliances downstairs, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was something else eating them upstairs. So far the dog has gotten my alarm clock and my heating pad.
I was just thinking that today would be a good day to sit around this house getting drunk all day. Then, I remembered that it was Sunday and the only way to get alcohol on a Sunday here is to drive to a bar and drink it there and then drive home drunk. You can’t buy so much as one beer to take home and drink. If you haven’t bought a bunch of booze by late Saturday, you aren’t getting any until sometime Monday. That’s just so damned stupid.
I do have this bottle of sake that I’ve been looking at since April. I suppose it couldn’t be too bad after a few swigs. I drank gin straight once. That was pretty yucky until I had taken a few gulps. But I had already had a bunch of beer before I drank that, and that made the gin go down a little easier. And, since I can’t buy beer today, I would just have to drink the sake until it tastes good. Well, maybe not GOOD, but until it doesn’t gag me as much.
It’s still dark out this morning, do you think it’s too early to drink sake? I suppose it’s the right time somewhere.
I just took an assessment of my liquor holdings and they are as follows, one bottle of sake, one airplane-sized bottle of Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey and a bottle of Triple Sec. Somewhere in this house I have a tiny bottle of tequila with a rubber nipple on it, but I don’t know where that is. I don’t even know why I have a bottle of tequila with a nipple on it...but I do.
OH! I just had a good idea, I can make an Irish coffee first and then see what happens! I have brown sugar and whiskey, besides the coffee, that’s all I need. Oh, I probably shouldn’t use yesterday’s coffee for my drink, so I’m gonna go and make another pot of that crap. BRB.
OK, the coffee’s perking. Or dripping, whatever coffee does nowadays. Now I’ll drink as I’m typing and you can watch my slow decline, like Charlie in Flowers for Algernon.
A watched coffee pot never boils. My current drink is in a box with a straw sticking out of it. Now THAT’S the way they should serve drinks in a bar. There wouldn’t be as much spilling nor would there be as many “beer in the face” tosses.
OK, my first drink is made. Now I’m afraid to taste it because I didn’t know how much whiskey to put in. The bottle is an ounce but it looks like more than one drink. So, I figured that I’d start with about a third of the bottle and work my way up from there. Ooh! That’s not bad at all. I could actually add a bit more.
Now I can taste that whiskey. OK.
I’m gonna drink a bunch of it then I’m going to come back and tell a bunch of secrets, how’s that? I may even go into that chat room at the bottom of this thing and wait to see if any other drunk people show up. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. Then, if I can find the word processor again, I’ll come back and type all screwed up in my drunken stupor.
Now, THAT’S entertainment.
Meg
...wide awake in a house with no one else in it. That’s usually how I prefer it but in the middle of the night, it gets a little freaky. I’m not sure what it is, but there’s something living in my attic. It’s burrowing around up there right now. I don’t mind telling you that it’s more than a little frightening to me. I’m not gonna be stupid and open the attic stair/door/hall ceiling thing with the string hanging down from it, there’s no way to stop anything that might decide to attack when I pull the string.
I’m pretty sure it’s just one lone soldier, but there’s always the chance that it’s just a large army with one idiot who won’t shut up. Either way, I don’t have a fire thrower so I’m not going up there. I wish I had one of those huge assault rifles that Ripley had in Aliens. That looked like a pretty mean gun. I could probably go up there if I was packing one of those suckers. Short of that, I’m just gonna hope whatever it is isn’t eating my Christmas tree or and of my ornaments. With my luck, it’s chewing the cords off of my Christmas lights. My dog has been eating the cords off of electrical appliances downstairs, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was something else eating them upstairs. So far the dog has gotten my alarm clock and my heating pad.
I was just thinking that today would be a good day to sit around this house getting drunk all day. Then, I remembered that it was Sunday and the only way to get alcohol on a Sunday here is to drive to a bar and drink it there and then drive home drunk. You can’t buy so much as one beer to take home and drink. If you haven’t bought a bunch of booze by late Saturday, you aren’t getting any until sometime Monday. That’s just so damned stupid.
I do have this bottle of sake that I’ve been looking at since April. I suppose it couldn’t be too bad after a few swigs. I drank gin straight once. That was pretty yucky until I had taken a few gulps. But I had already had a bunch of beer before I drank that, and that made the gin go down a little easier. And, since I can’t buy beer today, I would just have to drink the sake until it tastes good. Well, maybe not GOOD, but until it doesn’t gag me as much.
It’s still dark out this morning, do you think it’s too early to drink sake? I suppose it’s the right time somewhere.
I just took an assessment of my liquor holdings and they are as follows, one bottle of sake, one airplane-sized bottle of Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey and a bottle of Triple Sec. Somewhere in this house I have a tiny bottle of tequila with a rubber nipple on it, but I don’t know where that is. I don’t even know why I have a bottle of tequila with a nipple on it...but I do.
OH! I just had a good idea, I can make an Irish coffee first and then see what happens! I have brown sugar and whiskey, besides the coffee, that’s all I need. Oh, I probably shouldn’t use yesterday’s coffee for my drink, so I’m gonna go and make another pot of that crap. BRB.
OK, the coffee’s perking. Or dripping, whatever coffee does nowadays. Now I’ll drink as I’m typing and you can watch my slow decline, like Charlie in Flowers for Algernon.
A watched coffee pot never boils. My current drink is in a box with a straw sticking out of it. Now THAT’S the way they should serve drinks in a bar. There wouldn’t be as much spilling nor would there be as many “beer in the face” tosses.
OK, my first drink is made. Now I’m afraid to taste it because I didn’t know how much whiskey to put in. The bottle is an ounce but it looks like more than one drink. So, I figured that I’d start with about a third of the bottle and work my way up from there. Ooh! That’s not bad at all. I could actually add a bit more.
Now I can taste that whiskey. OK.
I’m gonna drink a bunch of it then I’m going to come back and tell a bunch of secrets, how’s that? I may even go into that chat room at the bottom of this thing and wait to see if any other drunk people show up. Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. Then, if I can find the word processor again, I’ll come back and type all screwed up in my drunken stupor.
Now, THAT’S entertainment.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:03 AM
2 Comments:
Since I'm working through this chronologically (and many years later) I think this coffee experiment is gonna turn out like one of mine. I absolutely would have joined you-and all the other buzzed-at-this-hour people who are heading "home" when we were just heading "out."
Party-poopers ;)
TW
It's all good...I'm over it. But, If YOU were here, I'd be all over the going out idea.
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