Dear Meg,

“I've got a bottle of vitamin 'v' upstairs...actually my insurance pays half the cost - so they cost me $5 a pill.”

Those pills are 10 bucks a piece? Damn, they better work.

So, when do you take it? And, what if the timing is off a bit? What do you do with that thing if she leaves before it pops up? Well, I guess that was a stupid question...I have an idea what you do with it.

I went to the doctor today and got behind women drivers that don’t seem to realize that you’re allowed to turn left on green. You can, you know...green means go. I don’t mean to sound sexist when I mention women driver’s, it’s just the truth. I do occasionally see a man do something stupid...but more often than not, the real idiots are women. Of course, men are more likely to end up on CNN running from the cops, but when it comes to everyday driving, women out-stupid the guys hands down.

And...I’m including myself in that indictment. I don’t THINK that I’m a bad driver but I couldn’t be too good or I wouldn’t spend so much time in court.

I’m almost afraid to say this...I haven’t been in a car accident while I was at the wheel since the 70’s. When I first got my license, I got into 3 quick fender benders. Each time I was listening to someone else when I hit another car. One time I listened to the knucklehead that was next to me, once I got honked at and I just took off like a race horse who hears the gun and the other time a truck driver told me that it was clear and I believed him. They were all men and I’d like to blame all of those things on them, but I was the idiot who listened. Now, I don’t. You could shout in my ear that the light is green and I have the right of way but I won’t go anywhere until I’m good and ready.

That never shuts anyone up though. I don’t know why anyone would bother after a few times, you’d think they’d either refuse to ride with me or just shut up, hold on and hope for the best.

There’s this physician’s assistant who works at my doctor’s office and he’s really a very cute guy. Today I noticed that he grew a beard and he’s the first guy I’ve ever seen who looks worse in a nice beard. That’s because it’s usually the ugly guys who grow them.

Cute little boys like that kid at the doctor’s office don’t need one. Actually, he’s such a baby-faced kid that I’m surprised that he can even grow such a nice beard. Duly impressed...yes, but also surprised.
When you meet a man who has a beard, you better really like him before he shaves it off. There’s very little funnier looking than a man who just shaved off a beard. I’m not sure why, but for some reason, they never seem to have any lips.

Well, I’ve ignored the clothes flopping around in the dryer long enough. I’ve fluffed them up three times already and that’s screwing with the money that I’m trying to save by freezing my ass off in this house. I have to pay for everything so I have to be very careful with my cash. I can’t buy myself new clothes if I keep doing stupid things like turning on the heat and eating. And, I can’t wear my old clothes if I don’t wash them so I have to go now.

Last minute thought...I'm gonna take some clean clothes out and leave the house for a while.

See ya,

Meg