A few things that I've figured out recently,

If you hear the sentence, "Just tell us the truth and we won't arrest you.", you need to shut up and call your attorney.

Never plop yourself into the back of a squad car, the back seat is as hard as rock.

Criminals will steal from you, even if you're in a jail surrounded by cops.

Boiled weed is considered a vegetable, even without Reagan in office.

Men will still honk at a woman walking down the street, even if she's a grandmother.

The button that is supposed to change the light so that you can cross the street is just there to amuse you until it changes whenever the hell it wants to.

Just because you CAN slide the handcuffs off your wrists doesn't mean that you SHOULD do so.

There's a lot of spare change on the side of the road.

Stepping on the cracks doesn't really break your mother's back.

Telling the truth to people in or related to law enforcement is not a good thing...but telling the truth to the judge is.

Police don't figure out most crimes, most criminals rat their own stupid asses out.

Alcoholics like to accuse other people of being alcoholics.

True friends are those who accept your collect calls from jail.

Waffle House has not cornered the market on frightening food.

There is a grade of meat that dog food companies won't accept...and it is sold to jails.

Some criminals are more decent than some police officers.

Somebody from Marietta.gov (who's name starts with C and ends with A) is reading my blog every morning.

You DO have freedom of speech in this country, but it WILL be used against you in a court of law.

Lawyers are NOT always the slimiest humanoids in a court room.

There's a little cop in Marietta who looks like Eddie Munster, and the other cops know who he is.

My most recent ex husband isn't always the slug that I thought he was.

My other ex IS a slug and always will be.

Those who can do, those who can't guard prisoners.

A crook out of jail is treated better than an innocent person in jail.

Money will absolutely keep a person out of jail, off of probation and free to do as they please.

Lack of money will get you put in jail, on probation and monitored until you get money.

A very few people are EXTREMELY kind while most others will sit back and do nothing.

You never know when life will turn on you...very bad things happen to very good people.

Bitter people love to make others miserable...I guess that's just a variation of "Misery loves company."

You can "ignore them" and they WILL "go away", but they'll just take it out on people that you care about.

No matter how bad life gets, there's always someone who has it worse.

A pod full of prisoners doing the hokey pokey will baffle the guards.

M&M's can be used as make up in a pinch.