Emotional blackmail is a sign of a pathetic person in my books!
Yep. There are certainly a few appointments necessary in the futures of women who would take their own children and use them as weapons against other people.
When my son and his baby-mama first started bickering I said to them both, "Well, now it's time to see who loves Chandler enough to treat her other parent decently" I saw this stuff coming. Nowadays, you can almost assume that it will happen when two parents fall out of love.
Never, ever have I hated my own kids enough to steal their father from them and I will never understand mothers who do. I'm not taking any of the blame away from my son, mind you...he had a big part in this mess. But, he adores his little girl and would have never thrown a scene in front of her. That little girl was absolutely traumatized when her mother went berserk in front of everyone. Can you imagine? Four squad cars full of cops having to deal with your parents right in front of you?
Obviously, there is a court date in the future because after her performance yesterday, I couldn't imagine her allowing the visitation to occur. But, that would be extremely stupid of her because we have her on tape TWICE acting like a complete nut with the baby screaming in the background. We had just gotten done video-taping her as she was playing happily and eating her dinner and then...in bursts her mother, totally nuts and attacking her father. And, on top of that, when my father tried to shut the door, she began screaming, "Chandler, everyone is beating up your Mommy!" Oh my God, it was awful.
And to see a 5 year old and a 3 year old sitting there saying things like, "We don't like Daddy anymore." and "Daddy is stupid." just made me want to cry. Those kids adore their father and he adores them. But, within the last two weeks, the mother totally screwed up their heads. And she never once stopped to think, "Maybe I should let them live a happy childhood and just deal with their father away from them.", leaving them out of the entire fiasco. but she felt the need to make them the weapons with which to inflict pain upon the man that SHE chose to make a child with and then allowed the little boy to fall in love with.
There's no way that the kids will avoid some emotional scars now...of that I am sure. Why...oh why do people care so much more about hurting someone else than they do about loving the children? How does this happen?
OK, now I have to make breakfast for the folks...I'll be back after my doctor's appointment.
Meg
Yep. There are certainly a few appointments necessary in the futures of women who would take their own children and use them as weapons against other people.
When my son and his baby-mama first started bickering I said to them both, "Well, now it's time to see who loves Chandler enough to treat her other parent decently" I saw this stuff coming. Nowadays, you can almost assume that it will happen when two parents fall out of love.
Never, ever have I hated my own kids enough to steal their father from them and I will never understand mothers who do. I'm not taking any of the blame away from my son, mind you...he had a big part in this mess. But, he adores his little girl and would have never thrown a scene in front of her. That little girl was absolutely traumatized when her mother went berserk in front of everyone. Can you imagine? Four squad cars full of cops having to deal with your parents right in front of you?
Obviously, there is a court date in the future because after her performance yesterday, I couldn't imagine her allowing the visitation to occur. But, that would be extremely stupid of her because we have her on tape TWICE acting like a complete nut with the baby screaming in the background. We had just gotten done video-taping her as she was playing happily and eating her dinner and then...in bursts her mother, totally nuts and attacking her father. And, on top of that, when my father tried to shut the door, she began screaming, "Chandler, everyone is beating up your Mommy!" Oh my God, it was awful.
And to see a 5 year old and a 3 year old sitting there saying things like, "We don't like Daddy anymore." and "Daddy is stupid." just made me want to cry. Those kids adore their father and he adores them. But, within the last two weeks, the mother totally screwed up their heads. And she never once stopped to think, "Maybe I should let them live a happy childhood and just deal with their father away from them.", leaving them out of the entire fiasco. but she felt the need to make them the weapons with which to inflict pain upon the man that SHE chose to make a child with and then allowed the little boy to fall in love with.
There's no way that the kids will avoid some emotional scars now...of that I am sure. Why...oh why do people care so much more about hurting someone else than they do about loving the children? How does this happen?
OK, now I have to make breakfast for the folks...I'll be back after my doctor's appointment.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:37 AM
4 Comments:
OMG! What a fiasco!
It sounds like somebody (Meg) should sit down with this girl and talk some straight up "get your shit together" adult talk with her (Meg) :):):)
I have never understood why people who couldn't tolerate each other enough to stay married still continue the hatred and mental abuse even after the divorce. And for her to act like a complete nutcase in front of her kids is only hurting herself...somebody (Meg) should talk to her about that. I'm guessing from the sounds of her immature behavior that she is 20-something so this would be the perfect time in her life for a respectful, intelligent woman (Meg) to set her on the right path for not only her sake, but her children as well.
:):):)
I appreciate your confidence in me but trust me, this girl won't even listen to her own mother and I have bent over backwards to help her whenever I could. I took care of my grandchildren for a year (see months and months of this blog where I talk about them as I was caring for them) so that she could go to medical assistant school. I never took a dime from her, of course. She would have never been able to go to school had I not done that. Her mother and I have both done our best to keep the situation as peaceful as possible. But, when you're dealing with an over-emotional, totally selfish person, you have to sit back and watch them make their own mistakes. Then, you just pray that they eventually grow up and put their children ahead of themselves. Once again, my son played a big part in yesterday's fiasco. There was no reason for him to have sent her the picture of him and the kids. So, both of them have a LOT of growing up to do.
Hopefully, they will both grow up and learn to put the kid's needs in front of their own desire to hurt each other. I think that sooner or later they will. But, my ex married a 17 year old nit wit who I thought would grow up eventually but she never has and now she's in her 30's. Of course, she is an alcoholic and as I've said before, when you're abusing a substance, emotional growth stops as you use drugs or drink because you don't ever learn to handle life and the problems that you encounter since you're numb from using. Once you stop the substance abuse, you begin to mature. (The kid's mother doesn't drink as far as I know, but she did smoke marijuana quite a bit at one point. I have no idea if she is still doing that, she certainly wouldn't tell me if she was.)
I just hope that she grows up before she does irrepairable harm to my grandchildren. At my first opportunity, I will try to speak to her. She may not listen right now, but what I say will be in her head and like your own children, you just hope that they grow up and use the information you've given them once they are more open to reason and self control. In the meantime, I can just do my best to set an example and pray for the best.
Meg
So true! The frustrating part is waiting for them to wake up and get on with being mature. I hope she gets it together and soon for the kids and for herself.
I am slowing making my way through your blog from the beginning...you've been through a lot of shit, if you don't mind my saying so. But, it seems that you have kept your sense of humor through the whole thing (and a good dose of sarcasm, too...which is the best part IMHO)
Take care :):)
Yeah, I used to wonder what would happen next. Now I just sit back and let the good times roll.
:)
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