Damn...
...the night went by quickly. I kept waking up from stupid dreams (yes, MORE of them!) and I thought the night was lasting forever but when I opened my eyes the last time, it was 8:30. I never sleep that late. I know that I was dreaming about Rick again but I don't remember what it was about, something derogatory I would think.
I've been trying to put the blog in some orderly fashion and it's been reminding me of things I had forgotten. My word processor is screwed up so the only way to do it right now is with another blog so I have been putting it in one of those. Right now it's at InfidelitiyForDummies@blogspot.com and it's NOT a blog. I add to it so the new stuff is at the bottom. I have been adding things as I remember them so there's stuff that isn't in the blog, but a LOT more of it is in my head right now. Last night while I was trying to fall asleep, I came up with a bunch of things to write but I didn't have the energy to get up and write it. I wanted to come here first so Hello!
All of the icky feelings that I had over 2 years ago are back now, even that hideous ache in the pit of my stomache. That's a good thing because I get a bit more caustic when I'm feeling like that and it makes for much better reading although it feels awful. I guess that's why I've been dreaming about Rick so much lately.
My son went out last night with a friend and brought his friend back to spend the night because "he had too much to drink to drive home". Well, wouldn't that mean that he shouldn't have driven here? Both of them are still in bed, my kid is taking the day off to go buy a new car. I don't know why his friend is here. I hate having strange men in my house unless I picked them out.
My older dog just collapsed on the floor and when I went to help her, I couldn't get her up. She hasn't been wanting to go outside lately and now I think it's because it hurts her too much to climb the 4 steps to get back into the house. Something tells me she isn't going to be around much longer.
How do you decide when a dog's life isn't good enough anymore? When I found her she was emaciated and her hair was falling off. She was pitful. I couldn't help but take her in and care for her. Now I think she's had about as much time as she's going to get. I just can't lift her up, she weighs more than I do. She does enjoy eating...that's about her only pleasure in life. And that dog will literally eat anything you put in front of her.
Well, I got her outside and now she's barking to come in but I know that'll mean that I will have to carry her up the stairs, damn it.
Anyway, what I thought right before I fell asleep last night was that during the Summer of Hell, the summer I was so sick and Rick was so cheating, sex changed from making love to shutting me up. I would complain that we hadn't made love in a long time and he would do me just to shut me up. I never thought of that until last night. He did me the night before he left, and he knew it would be the last time we would ever make love and he didn't tell me. I would have done a bit better had I known. I just thought it was another Thursday night in the sack.
So, from that thought I went to a bunch of other thoughts and before I knew it, I was dreaming about the bastard again. Tonight when I lay down I'm going to think about Michael Madsen. OK, I'm off to irritate myself further and write more about the mean man that I married.
Meg
...the night went by quickly. I kept waking up from stupid dreams (yes, MORE of them!) and I thought the night was lasting forever but when I opened my eyes the last time, it was 8:30. I never sleep that late. I know that I was dreaming about Rick again but I don't remember what it was about, something derogatory I would think.
I've been trying to put the blog in some orderly fashion and it's been reminding me of things I had forgotten. My word processor is screwed up so the only way to do it right now is with another blog so I have been putting it in one of those. Right now it's at InfidelitiyForDummies@blogspot.com and it's NOT a blog. I add to it so the new stuff is at the bottom. I have been adding things as I remember them so there's stuff that isn't in the blog, but a LOT more of it is in my head right now. Last night while I was trying to fall asleep, I came up with a bunch of things to write but I didn't have the energy to get up and write it. I wanted to come here first so Hello!
All of the icky feelings that I had over 2 years ago are back now, even that hideous ache in the pit of my stomache. That's a good thing because I get a bit more caustic when I'm feeling like that and it makes for much better reading although it feels awful. I guess that's why I've been dreaming about Rick so much lately.
My son went out last night with a friend and brought his friend back to spend the night because "he had too much to drink to drive home". Well, wouldn't that mean that he shouldn't have driven here? Both of them are still in bed, my kid is taking the day off to go buy a new car. I don't know why his friend is here. I hate having strange men in my house unless I picked them out.
My older dog just collapsed on the floor and when I went to help her, I couldn't get her up. She hasn't been wanting to go outside lately and now I think it's because it hurts her too much to climb the 4 steps to get back into the house. Something tells me she isn't going to be around much longer.
How do you decide when a dog's life isn't good enough anymore? When I found her she was emaciated and her hair was falling off. She was pitful. I couldn't help but take her in and care for her. Now I think she's had about as much time as she's going to get. I just can't lift her up, she weighs more than I do. She does enjoy eating...that's about her only pleasure in life. And that dog will literally eat anything you put in front of her.
Well, I got her outside and now she's barking to come in but I know that'll mean that I will have to carry her up the stairs, damn it.
Anyway, what I thought right before I fell asleep last night was that during the Summer of Hell, the summer I was so sick and Rick was so cheating, sex changed from making love to shutting me up. I would complain that we hadn't made love in a long time and he would do me just to shut me up. I never thought of that until last night. He did me the night before he left, and he knew it would be the last time we would ever make love and he didn't tell me. I would have done a bit better had I known. I just thought it was another Thursday night in the sack.
So, from that thought I went to a bunch of other thoughts and before I knew it, I was dreaming about the bastard again. Tonight when I lay down I'm going to think about Michael Madsen. OK, I'm off to irritate myself further and write more about the mean man that I married.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:41 AM
4 Comments:
meg- I love your "infidelities for dummies" site! It's very well written. I can just imagine your writings put together in that yellow and black "for dummies" series.
Hey, why don't you do that? I'll be the first on line to buy the book at barnes and nobles, then I'll send it down to you to get it autographed. ;)
Sorry about the dog Meg...hang in there.
Thank you so much Day,
That dog is as sweet as she can be. I often wish that I knew what her story was and how she ended up all skin and bones with her hair falling out. It was so sad. I got her healthy, even had a fatty tumor removed. Poor thing has arthritis now and she can't do so many things. Every so often her backs legs collapse and it makes me want to cry. I'll keep her around as long as I think she's enjoying something. Thanks again, she means alot to me.
Solaris,
THAT'S the kind of stuff I need to hear to work harder on that idea, a cheerleader or 2 or 6!!!! Thanks so much for doing that for me...and I bet you didn't even realize that you were doing that...did ya! Tell your mother I said hello!
Meg
Hey there :)
Sorry I've not been around, we have chaos here. Hubby got laid off and was home for 2 weeks. He's got 2 jobs starting this week so I'll be able to breathe and get on a schedule again. I never thought I could be more annoyed with him than before. Boy was I wrong.
Anyway...regarding Maggie - that is odd that your vet would tell you to use buffered aspirin when she is in that much pain. If she is having that much trouble going up and down stairs you might need something different. The medications we had Nick on (at different times) was Deramaxx and Rimadyl. They both require a blood test to check the dogs liver, but the difference is definitely worth it. Buffered aspirin will help them a little but something like Deramaxx or Rimadyl would probably mean a world of difference for her. It's like the difference between taking Tylenol or Celebrex for arthritis. And I'm sure you know but just in case...NEVER EVER give them acetaminophen as a substitute - this can damage the liver of a dog (or cat) and be almost instantly fatal. Ibuprofen is also to be avoided unless specifically prescribed by the vet.
Ok, I'll end my (Oh I want to go back and finish my veterinary training) advice now. :)
Seriously though, I know how hard it is to watch the poor things suffer from arthritis and/or hip dysplasia. And when they are big, it's just too difficult to pick them up and make their life easier. I would make sure the vet knows exactly how bad she is so they can prescribe something that will make it easier for both of you. (even if that means the most unpleasant of tasks)
I'll be wishing the best for both of you. And now I'm going to curl up under a pile of blankets because someone forgot to tell Mother Nature that this is a sub-tropical zone and she's gone and blasted us with some incredibly cold (for here) weather!
Hugs!!
:)
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