OK JQ...
...yes. I did say that men had a thing or two to learn and I also didn't mention the blowjob that accompanies a nice old fashioned 69. But I really don’t consider it a blowjob so much as I consider it just 69. Besides, there’s no way to describe what to do during that blowjob because so much depends on what the guy is doing up there. And whether or not he pulled the pillow out from under my head before he turned around. If nobody thinks to move that stupid pillow...there isn’t much that can be done except just to lie there and....take it.
Oh well. The guy has much more control during 69...unless the women gets on top, which, I must admit, I have never done. The only control that I have is that when a guy slows down...down there...I do too. I just stop. If you do that enough, like Pavlov’s dogs, he will figure it out and start doing it right again. I would say something, but I was taught never to talk with my mouth full.
Anyway, that being said, how about a few words to the guys about...well...how do I say this...playing the hairy harmonica? I’ve run across a few of those, “If you can’t fry it, I won’t eat it.” types of guys. I don’t hang around with them for any length of time at all. And TO those guys, I’d like to know something...“What the hell are you thinking?”
I know that there are a few guys around who don’t care at all about whether or not the women has any fun during sex, but luckily, not too many. I’m quite sure that most who do care only do so because it’s the smart thing to do. NO self respecting women would allow a man to have 3 orgasms without seeing to it that the woman has at least 1. I’ll give someone 3...after that, he better start saying the word RECIPROCITY to himself over and over again. Or, he needs to just move on to some stupid young chick who doesn’t know any better.
I’ve given it a bit of thought and I don’t think that there are too many variables when attempting to please a woman...you either do it right, or you get the hell off. A nice woman will just tap on your shoulder, ass or even your head when she wants you to just give it up and quit already.
So basically, there are just two ways to do that, the right way or the wrong way. There’s very little in this world more frustrating than having someone do it the wrong way. You don’t always have a man’s head between your thighs and when you do, you expect certain things. I don’t know how a guy can have more than a couple women and still do that wrong, but plenty of them waste a lot of time down there just goofing off.
They either do it too soft or too hard, too slowly or too quickly...AND THAT SHIT JUST DRIVES ME NUTS...and I mean that in a BAD way. There’s no reason in the world to keep a guy around who just annoys you in that arena. It’s not like a blowjob, they say there's no such thing as a bad blowjob...there IS a bad...whatever it is you call that. And it’s not just disappointing, it’s downright MADDENING. So close and yet so far. I’m getting irritated just thinking about guys who just fiddle around with that tongue, lacking direction and purpose. They wander around aimlessly, all Daniel Boone-like, taking wrong turns and totally disregarding the help that I am trying to give them as I follow their tongue around with my hips. They stop and start over and over like a bad driver who can’t keep his foot on the accelerator with an even pressure.
I want to hit him with a large piece of wood. How tough can that be? If you find it taking a really long time, ask yourself some questions. Don’t assume that all that hip movement from a woman is a good thing, consider the possibility that someone is trying to HELP YOUR STUPID ASS!
Younger women might just fake it and get on with their lives, but older women won’t bother with you at all if you can’t perform up to certain standards. Why in the heck would we? I don’t have as much time as a younger woman so I’m not wasting it on someone who doesn’t know how and doesn’t bother trying to figure it out. Like I said, a guy who does that wrong is more annoying than a guy who doesn’t do it at all. I’ll help you out a bit, but only if you ask. If you don’t seem to want to know, I’ll just send you packing and stop answering your phone calls.
This is actually more important than a blowjob to women. All guys can enjoy sex either way but most women, on the other, count on this crap. So, be a good boy and pay attention next time...OK?
See ya,
Meg
...yes. I did say that men had a thing or two to learn and I also didn't mention the blowjob that accompanies a nice old fashioned 69. But I really don’t consider it a blowjob so much as I consider it just 69. Besides, there’s no way to describe what to do during that blowjob because so much depends on what the guy is doing up there. And whether or not he pulled the pillow out from under my head before he turned around. If nobody thinks to move that stupid pillow...there isn’t much that can be done except just to lie there and....take it.
Oh well. The guy has much more control during 69...unless the women gets on top, which, I must admit, I have never done. The only control that I have is that when a guy slows down...down there...I do too. I just stop. If you do that enough, like Pavlov’s dogs, he will figure it out and start doing it right again. I would say something, but I was taught never to talk with my mouth full.
Anyway, that being said, how about a few words to the guys about...well...how do I say this...playing the hairy harmonica? I’ve run across a few of those, “If you can’t fry it, I won’t eat it.” types of guys. I don’t hang around with them for any length of time at all. And TO those guys, I’d like to know something...“What the hell are you thinking?”
I know that there are a few guys around who don’t care at all about whether or not the women has any fun during sex, but luckily, not too many. I’m quite sure that most who do care only do so because it’s the smart thing to do. NO self respecting women would allow a man to have 3 orgasms without seeing to it that the woman has at least 1. I’ll give someone 3...after that, he better start saying the word RECIPROCITY to himself over and over again. Or, he needs to just move on to some stupid young chick who doesn’t know any better.
I’ve given it a bit of thought and I don’t think that there are too many variables when attempting to please a woman...you either do it right, or you get the hell off. A nice woman will just tap on your shoulder, ass or even your head when she wants you to just give it up and quit already.
So basically, there are just two ways to do that, the right way or the wrong way. There’s very little in this world more frustrating than having someone do it the wrong way. You don’t always have a man’s head between your thighs and when you do, you expect certain things. I don’t know how a guy can have more than a couple women and still do that wrong, but plenty of them waste a lot of time down there just goofing off.
They either do it too soft or too hard, too slowly or too quickly...AND THAT SHIT JUST DRIVES ME NUTS...and I mean that in a BAD way. There’s no reason in the world to keep a guy around who just annoys you in that arena. It’s not like a blowjob, they say there's no such thing as a bad blowjob...there IS a bad...whatever it is you call that. And it’s not just disappointing, it’s downright MADDENING. So close and yet so far. I’m getting irritated just thinking about guys who just fiddle around with that tongue, lacking direction and purpose. They wander around aimlessly, all Daniel Boone-like, taking wrong turns and totally disregarding the help that I am trying to give them as I follow their tongue around with my hips. They stop and start over and over like a bad driver who can’t keep his foot on the accelerator with an even pressure.
I want to hit him with a large piece of wood. How tough can that be? If you find it taking a really long time, ask yourself some questions. Don’t assume that all that hip movement from a woman is a good thing, consider the possibility that someone is trying to HELP YOUR STUPID ASS!
Younger women might just fake it and get on with their lives, but older women won’t bother with you at all if you can’t perform up to certain standards. Why in the heck would we? I don’t have as much time as a younger woman so I’m not wasting it on someone who doesn’t know how and doesn’t bother trying to figure it out. Like I said, a guy who does that wrong is more annoying than a guy who doesn’t do it at all. I’ll help you out a bit, but only if you ask. If you don’t seem to want to know, I’ll just send you packing and stop answering your phone calls.
This is actually more important than a blowjob to women. All guys can enjoy sex either way but most women, on the other, count on this crap. So, be a good boy and pay attention next time...OK?
See ya,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:09 AM
7 Comments:
Meg:
I could not agree more, any Man that does not understand what a woman wants in this arena is just to self centered for his own good, besides it is so much fun to see a woman just lose it and orgasm from that, always gives me great pride anyway, Love it and definitely leasrned how to do it right.
Buddy
Good man!
I can so relate to this post Meg. Well done!!
And could not agree more about the so close and yet so far comment.
Lucky for me my hubbie LOVES playing the 'hairy harmonica' and he is rather good at it.
And the other thing I am extremely grateful for is his desire to please me everytime. No 3 for my 1 in this bed!
In case you just tuned in...
I haven't had the pleasure of "knowing" Meg in this way. Jeez, Meg, I suggest a post topic and you put my name on it as if you are talking to me (blush).
Hmmm, should I comment and risk digging a deeper hole, why not...
Just another point of view here for you to consider...
1) Since you know what you want and you've run into those who don't, why not make a public service announcement and give some educational tips on your Blog?
This post tells why it's important, but it doesn't relay any tips on how the guy is gonna send you to the moon.
2) On a personal note, why do women expect guys to read their minds? It is a touchy subject, but if you're engaged in that activity, well, it's kinda touchy too.
A guy's thought process is much more direct. As you are moving your hips around, he's probably thinking, what the hell is she doing, well its OK with me, whatever she wants to do with her hips.
Next time you are ready to kick the guy to the door, why not move your lips instead of your hips. Tell him how you like it, reach down there and guide him. Tell him what he's gonna get after he successfully completes the task. Guys are goal oriented, they'll understand that. You may still have to kick some to the curb, but there may be some that follow your cue to your mutual benefit.
3) Meg, a chick as bold as yourself and you haven't been on top of a 69. Come on, you've waited long enough.
Just some thoughts.
And some GREAT pounts as well!
Let me suck coffee, I worked all night...and then I'll be back to pique your interest again!
Give me 20 minutes...
Meg
Meg,
The common problem that most guys have, at least the ones that I’m stationed with here, is that they approach the subject (and the area) with little to no imagination or thought process for the woman or how to please her. The guy may consider himself, or be considered by his buddies, as a sexual stud by his word alone but what is that really worth? The correct approach is to hear the feedback from the woman’s girlfriends. In other words, women will always talk about the fact that one of their girlfriends told them the cops were called to the house because the entire building was shaking, windows were exploding and the car alarms across the block were set off due to the incredible sex she got last night.
Start off by talking with her, in a non-overt manner, about the ENTIRE topic of sex. Flirting, foreplay, and sex, not necessarily in that order for the conversation but it is an incredible way to gain insight to what is going on, what she wants to happen; especially what she doesn’t want to happen. Questions like “what you like/don’t like, what you like to do/don’t like to do, what you like done to you/not done to you”. Never center all of the evening’s conversation on it. If there is mutual attraction, the topic will always come up (no pun intended).
Not only does this provide valuable information but it makes both of you more comfortable enroute to the bedroom. And guess what? Keeping the conversation flirty, fun and interactive while you’re having foreplay and sex, makes it a more fun and memorable experience for both of you. You’re going to have sex, what’s more interactive than that? Personally, I like to go for the 2 to 0/1 ratio on orgasms; her two orgasms to my zero or one DURING foreplay. Try to keep that ratio after you move on from foreplay which will always include feedback. Am I doing it right, are you OK, too slow, too fast, too hard, too soft, are you still having fun? You never fire off the questions like an interrogation. She will always provide feedback and by talking to her, it will encourage her to do so. Compliment her on her body, women are exceedingly self-conscious of their bodies and compliments are great for her self-esteem. Always take the trip “Downtown” because if you expect her to do it for you, she will more than likely do it voluntarily (without you asking) after she gets hers, and it’s a great time for you! Make her squirm because of pleasure and not because you’re being an idiot! As far as the sex part, slow and steady wins the race.
If you can’t last that long (guys), ask her if she would prefer a session to last hours a night or does she prefer several times a night usually women will let you know. Unless she would like a “quickie” or it’s a spur of the moment thing, never, ever bypass foreplay. Use your imagination, both of you! If things used to be hot when you were first dating and you did the nasty any place you could find, go back to the basics and break in every room in the house or apartment, the car, whatever.
It is people’s nature (in general) for their tastes to change over time and to become complacent in what they do. This includes dating and marriage. Don’t be complacent! Make it a point to update your list of likes and dislikes especially if you’re claiming to be a guy interested in keeping this woman around. She may want to try something new or different so at least give it a shot.
Take care of yourself by learning, bathing, brushing and exercising. Just because you’re steadily dating or married is not an excuse or a license for you to become a fat moron that smells like hell. If you suspect that you smell, your junk is going to smell worse and the “Downtown” trip isn’t going to happen. Wash your whole body and for God’s sake, trim that hairy bastard between your legs. Neither sex considers it “dental floss”. This advice goes for both sexes.
In the end, if she shows up to work the next day with “just had sex” hair, a thousand yard stare and she can’t stay awake because she was up all night getting sexed up, you’ve done the job right. She will definitely brag to her girlfriends about what happened to get her in that current state. Those girlfriends will (inevitably) talk to their boyfriends or husbands and the word will get back to you. This will keep her very satisfied, her friends just jealous enough, and your buddies in trouble for not improving their performance. This is how you become the “stud” of conversations, not through blabbing about “your” actions.
Women are strange, wonderful and exciting creatures. They come in different colors, shapes, sizes, cultures, and backgrounds so it is truly an adventure trying to please “that one”. Focus on quality instead of quantity because you get to avoid so many headaches and diseases. Yes, there will always be nut cases, baggage, stalkers, morons, and freaks but that is all part of the journey. Never string them along, treat them like crap, or use them. And never, EVER cheat on them whether you’re single, married or if she’s single or married because it is just wrong and karma is a MF.
I think I'm in lust. Come again Coco.
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