I love my dogs...
...and the fact that they both weigh more than I do. I have 2 animals, both larger than I, both with a full set of mean looking teeth and both with the ability to rip apart another animal or me if they saw fit to do so. And anyone with a brain who walked up on either one of those dogs would stop dead in their tracks and try to leave the area. The dogs are both very large and they both have the potential to kill a human being yet either of them will run with their tails between their legs if I so much as looked at them funny. (Well, Payton doesn't have a tail, but his stub points down.) What power I possess.
I haven't had this much control over another creature since my kids were too young to rat me out for spanking them. I have them totally at my mercy. They depend on me for food, shelter and doggy treats. Therefore, they will always obey my every word and they will never bite me hard enough to break the skin. As long as those animals don't figure out that they could, in fact, just knock me down and start eating my flesh, I should be in charge here.
What is it about the dogs that makes them so obedient? I don't know but it makes me wish they could do more than just sit, fetch and stay. If they could do the dishes I'd be quite happy. But then again, if they could do the dishes, I'm sure that PETA would demand that they get minimum wage. Oh well, I guess I'll have to settle for fetch.
You know, I am the Queen of my house. The dogs are my loyal subjects and they worship me. Elizabeth may rule England, but if she walked into my house the dogs would scare the bejesus out of her. Yes, I rule my house.
We all have our own space that we reign over, some of us just reign over larger areas. Presidents reign over nations, assistant managers reign over McDonald's and I reign over my house.
I'm sending a writing sample to a company as part of a query to write about dog breeds for the AKC. They wanted to see how fun you could make a dog breed sound. It was fun to write like that and I think that if I spoke like I wrote, I would make people happy. Either that or they'd look at me like I was nuts. I could write about husbands like that:
Are You Considering Adopting a Husband?
A husband can be a wonderful addition to your family if you choose well. These amazingly deceptive creatures can add years of joy to your life if you choose well. If you make a hasty choice and bring home the first husband you see, you could be in for years and years of misery so be sure to choose well.
Originally bred in the Garden of Eden as work animals for the first women, this hearty group has the potential to perform complicated tasks like automotive work, plumbing and gardening. Even the least intelligent of these beasts can perform heavy lifting for you. Jealous and protective, they will keep their master's safe from other men and spiders.
Your husband will serve you loyally and faithfully for years, months or days. It's always a crap shoot with these unpredictable little suckers. Some of them come with a lot of cash and some come with nothing but their healthy appetites so a husband is certainly not for the woman who enjoys stability. But, if you are one of those women who loves to live on the edge, a husband just may be the animal for you!
Oh well. That was fun. OK then. I have some errands to run today so I'm going to start early so that I can get back early. I would hate to be late for sitting in my chair and staring into space. I'll be back after I accomplish one particular thing. I have to go to Atlanta and that's never safe so wish me luck.
Meg
...and the fact that they both weigh more than I do. I have 2 animals, both larger than I, both with a full set of mean looking teeth and both with the ability to rip apart another animal or me if they saw fit to do so. And anyone with a brain who walked up on either one of those dogs would stop dead in their tracks and try to leave the area. The dogs are both very large and they both have the potential to kill a human being yet either of them will run with their tails between their legs if I so much as looked at them funny. (Well, Payton doesn't have a tail, but his stub points down.) What power I possess.
I haven't had this much control over another creature since my kids were too young to rat me out for spanking them. I have them totally at my mercy. They depend on me for food, shelter and doggy treats. Therefore, they will always obey my every word and they will never bite me hard enough to break the skin. As long as those animals don't figure out that they could, in fact, just knock me down and start eating my flesh, I should be in charge here.
What is it about the dogs that makes them so obedient? I don't know but it makes me wish they could do more than just sit, fetch and stay. If they could do the dishes I'd be quite happy. But then again, if they could do the dishes, I'm sure that PETA would demand that they get minimum wage. Oh well, I guess I'll have to settle for fetch.
You know, I am the Queen of my house. The dogs are my loyal subjects and they worship me. Elizabeth may rule England, but if she walked into my house the dogs would scare the bejesus out of her. Yes, I rule my house.
We all have our own space that we reign over, some of us just reign over larger areas. Presidents reign over nations, assistant managers reign over McDonald's and I reign over my house.
I'm sending a writing sample to a company as part of a query to write about dog breeds for the AKC. They wanted to see how fun you could make a dog breed sound. It was fun to write like that and I think that if I spoke like I wrote, I would make people happy. Either that or they'd look at me like I was nuts. I could write about husbands like that:
Are You Considering Adopting a Husband?
A husband can be a wonderful addition to your family if you choose well. These amazingly deceptive creatures can add years of joy to your life if you choose well. If you make a hasty choice and bring home the first husband you see, you could be in for years and years of misery so be sure to choose well.
Originally bred in the Garden of Eden as work animals for the first women, this hearty group has the potential to perform complicated tasks like automotive work, plumbing and gardening. Even the least intelligent of these beasts can perform heavy lifting for you. Jealous and protective, they will keep their master's safe from other men and spiders.
Your husband will serve you loyally and faithfully for years, months or days. It's always a crap shoot with these unpredictable little suckers. Some of them come with a lot of cash and some come with nothing but their healthy appetites so a husband is certainly not for the woman who enjoys stability. But, if you are one of those women who loves to live on the edge, a husband just may be the animal for you!
Oh well. That was fun. OK then. I have some errands to run today so I'm going to start early so that I can get back early. I would hate to be late for sitting in my chair and staring into space. I'll be back after I accomplish one particular thing. I have to go to Atlanta and that's never safe so wish me luck.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:10 AM
1 Comments:
hey girl - hope you get this before you leave. I wish you aaall the extreme best! ((hugs))
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