OK then...

...Solaris para-wrote a song in the comments below and that reminded me of a song that I para-wrote a long, long, long time ago. I mean that in blog time. Back when I was as angry and as bitter as I ever have been, I wrote a song dedicated to a dick I used to know.

FRANKIE AVALON NEVER SANG THIS SONG!

Hey Penis
Oh Penis,
Penis if you would,
last just another minute if you could

And if you think of rotten eggs or some shit,
You might last a minute or two.
Penis make it last,
can’t you see you’re coming much too fast
And then the twisted nature of your shaft
It’s no wonder that I laughed.

Penis, failure at sex that you are,
why is your head so small?
and who took your other ball?

Penis, Would you please,
Put every single woman’s mind at ease,
Please promise not to use that thing no more
The world will have one less great bore.

REPEAT CHORUS

It made a lot more sense at the time.