Do you know...
...that game on The Price is Right where there's a small wall with a lot of round cubby-holes that are covered with some thin paper? The contestants punch the holes and they get whatever's in the hole. It could be $50 bucks or it could be $10, 000. Well, life is like that wall and every day is like one of the holes You don't know what's in it, you just punch the hole and hope for the best. Well today I punched the wrong hole. I went to the doctor.
Things are worse that I had ever expected. Now I am pretty sure that I know the answer to the question, "What will I die of." The answer seems to be esophageal cancer. Of course, I could walk outside and get hit by a bus, but I don't walk in the street very often so I won't worry about that.
I haven't told anyone yet, I haven't even spoken the words. I'm sure that I will soon, but not right now. Actually, I don't feel all that bad. I never wanted to outlive my kids so this should put the concern to rest.
I'm going to go stare off into space for a while.
Meg
...that game on The Price is Right where there's a small wall with a lot of round cubby-holes that are covered with some thin paper? The contestants punch the holes and they get whatever's in the hole. It could be $50 bucks or it could be $10, 000. Well, life is like that wall and every day is like one of the holes You don't know what's in it, you just punch the hole and hope for the best. Well today I punched the wrong hole. I went to the doctor.
Things are worse that I had ever expected. Now I am pretty sure that I know the answer to the question, "What will I die of." The answer seems to be esophageal cancer. Of course, I could walk outside and get hit by a bus, but I don't walk in the street very often so I won't worry about that.
I haven't told anyone yet, I haven't even spoken the words. I'm sure that I will soon, but not right now. Actually, I don't feel all that bad. I never wanted to outlive my kids so this should put the concern to rest.
I'm going to go stare off into space for a while.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 3:00 PM
15 Comments:
Meg, after reading this latest entry in your blog, there are no words that I can tell you to let you know how sorry I am.
However, you are a strong woman and you can survive this! You've survived the other cancer!
What stage is the cancer in? What type of treatment will you choose to get?
I hate to sound nosy, and so upfront, but you've been an inspiration to me through my most difficult time yet, and I love you. Please let me (us) know.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I don't know what to say Meg.
You are a strong woman with a family that adore you. Miracles do happen.
Stay strong and know that you are very loved in real life and in blogland.
(((((HUGS)))))
Not sure what to say, except I'll say a prayer for you....you've brightened a lot of my days.
And I'll brighten a few more!
:):):)
My sister in law has the same desease, she started radiotherapy yesterday, she had it about 3 yrs ago and had surgery. I hope you can seek treatment meg, you are added to my current prayer list
I hope things go well for your sister, it must be an awfully helpless feeling to watch a sibling have to deal with all of that stuff. They told me it had less than 25% chance at 5 year survival. Whatever. I was never good with numbers anyway.
:)
Lara, what were your sisters symptoms? If she's doing so well after 3 years, that sounds pretty good, actually. But what sent her to the doctor?
Meg
She couldnt swallow, breathe properly, she had the beginning of the problem some 20yrs ago, her flap wouldnt close and she threw everything up, after many years of complaining they finally opened her up, fixed the flap and all seemed well , then 3 yrs ago had same problem, they removed most of her tube and pulled her stomach up, had radiotherapy and all good for 3yrs, now its back so more treatment, they cant operate now cos theres nothing to remove so we will pray that the treatment can hold it back, she also has a stent, that keeps her tract open so she can eat and breathe. Dont lose faith, god made doctors to perform miracles
I don't know what I'm going to do, Solaris, it's too early to tell. It depends on how advanced it is. If it would just make me sick for nothing...I'll just have some fun and roll with the symptoms.
Thanks a lot you guys. Now, lets pretend that nothing's wrong and we're all happy, happy, happy. You know what I always say, "act as if" and you will be whatever you're acting like you are. If there's something to be done, I'll do it, if not, I'll deal with it. This is actually the 3rd cancer that I've had so I think I already have dealt with all of the bullshit, the rest is all downhill from here. I have an excuse to do whatever I want to do. For example, I just finished a bag of potato chips and didn't gag on them once. So, as long as I can eat without too much trouble, I'll eat anything I want to. And, at some point, I will be back down to a size 2 which was fun there for a while with the last cancer.
Even if this one does get me, I'm still ahead, cancer 1, me 2.
Not bad.
Meg
wishful thinking wishful thinking:
It must not be so advanced if you can eat a bag of chips without extreme pain, no?
And Lara's sister in law had the start of the problem 20 years ago! Aaand..you're just finding out about yours right? Good news! Maybe some of us here we'll die before you do.
Wait, the last sentence was meant to be funny.
*sigh*
I just wish all the best for you. We here must continue to stay strong!
Solaris,
It doesn't happen all the time, as a matter of fact it started out being just a tad annoying when I swallowed (it happened so rarely that it took me a while to figure out that a pattern was developing. Now it's gotten progressively worse. Now it happens often and it's much more than annoying, it's downright suffocating.
I told the doctor in January that I was having trouble swallowing and just now they decide to figure out why I'm having those problems.I can have problems that make me fear for my life. The sensation of choking is so severe. And I do feel the thing in my trachea that feels like it wants to grow enough to strangle me. And medicine, it feels like the pill is still in the back of my throat and I have to eat 3 Hershey's candy kisses to get rid of the feeling.
Lara, could you do me a huge favor? Would you ask your sister if these were the same feelings that she had. My throat feels like there's a lymph node in it getting bigger all the time and my throat hurts. I have a stabbing pain in my upper chest that comes and goes. I'm hoping they made a mistake, but everything I look up support the doctor's diagnosis. Anyway, what does your sister say?
Meg
She had a coff and sore throat but didnt worry untill she was choking, they rushed her to hospital and discovered the tumour, it was a fragment left over from her previous operation apparently. check this site out
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esophageal_cancer
Meg - here's a page with a bunch of journals from esophageal cancer patients. Many are positive:
http://www.eccafe.org/sto/index.html
Meg, don't leave us :(
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