Yesterday...

...my nurse friend told me that the thing that he liked the most about me was that I was a free spirit. I've heard that quite a few times before but I've never stopped to wonder what it actually meant. The words themselves, I understood. But why does everyone refer to me as a free spirit? What is it and what is it about me that makes me one? So, I looked it up and what I found was an article about "Taming a Free Spirit". I was blown away by all of the things in that article that most certainly would apply to me. I can think of more that a few people who could have learned something by reading the article that began:

Have you met someone who's fiercely independent, and yearn for their devotion? The key to taming a wild soul is to make him or her feel like they can be freer with you than with anybody else. Here's how to have that free spirit eating out of your hand, willingly and happily.

I'm not really sure that I appreciate the idea of "eating out of" anyone's hand...but then I read further:

"...A free spirit is not the kind to twist and turn to meet your every need. You'll have to make it simple for them by coming to an understanding of what you want most out of a relationship and asking for that, and nothing else.

Don't sweat the small stuff. Things like punctuality, precautions, and any other kind of minor limit or inhibition will be of no concern to an independent mind. They like to flow through life, following their whims--and this often makes them extremely creative and fascinating individuals, which is what probably attracted you to them in the first place. By imposing dams, as little as they may be, you could very well suffocate the qualities that make this person desirable to you, if you don't manage to scare them off first.

Choose your battles wisely. Don't nitpick. If they're 15 minutes late and you end up missing a movie, roll with the punches and see the next one. In general, if it doesn't directly threaten the priorities you established in Step 1, then let it go and just enjoy the ride.

Avoid setting rules. Restrictions are like chains, and will send this wild horse running towards the horizon.

Get to know the person inside out. Study their tendencies, their quirks, their deepest desires, and their worst fears. Always be accepting and open-minded. Knowledge is power. The better you know this person, the less you'll feel the need to control them. Moreover, he or she will sense this and feel like you're the only person who truly knows them and thus, the only person they can be their uninhibited selves around. To a free spirit, this is the jackpot.

Give the benefit of the doubt. A person who values his or her independence will truly test your ability to trust. You need to determine early on whether or not you trust this person, and then trust them completely. Sure, you might get burned, but you also might capture the heart of a person that no one else could touch.

Get in touch with your own free spirit. Don't sit at home, wondering what he or she is doing, or when they're going to call. Get in your car and take a road trip. Visit an old friend. Watch a new movie. Taste a different kind of food. Your free spirit will respect you for it, and feel a sense of kinship with you when you both get home and recount your adventures.

Appreciate their free-spiritedness. It takes strong character these days to march to the beat of your own drummer. As long as you remember that independence is something to be appreciated, not just tolerated, you'll be giving a free spirit exactly the kind of nourishment that it needs.

All of these qualities sounded like exactly what I would expect from a friend, whatever kind of friend that may be. So, I didn't mind the "manipulation" they referred to.

No wonder so many guys seem to turn me off by attempting to control me...and it's not because I'm insane, it's just that I'm a free spirit! And...I have no intentions of ever being anything else. My spirit has been controlled, broken and trampled upon...but it's still there and I love that about me.

:):):)