I'm putting this post back up after...
...assuring the man who prompted it that I absolutely meant no offense whatsoever. I can see how it was taken that way, but I was actually referring to my relationship with Rick and the way that I would feel when he would give me the silent treatment. Although the comment did spark the feeling that I had been through, it was totally in reference to Rick, not the poor soul you wrote the comment. So, I'm going to stick this back up here and hope that no one throws rocks in my windows.
:):):)
As with everything else on this blog…
…the following is merely my own humble opinion.
A man read the post about what women mean when they say certain things. Then he responded with a few words of his own. It is my feeling that this man meant for his words to be a caveat of some sort. One way or another, he took the time to write the following words and to leave them in the comment section of this blog. So, he had a message to send to someone, apparently women. This is what the MAN had to say:
When you tell a guy "Nothings wrong", he just might believe you. If you tell him "Go ahead", he just might. If you tell him "Don't worry about it", he may not.
I realize that there are people who already recognize the naïve ignorance of these words. Those people are called women. But for those of you with brains that are poisoned by testosterone, let me enlighten you a tad.
Perhaps some testosterone induced jester, thinking that “nothings wrong”, will indeed “go ahead” while not “worrying about it”. Most of them do go through a phase where they actually think they can get away with that sort of wreckles behavior. (And then, about 8 months before they croak, they have an epiphany and realize the error of their ways.)These poor souls genuinely believe that life can be so uncomplicated. It’s almost a tad charming, in a childlike sort of way. But, these aren’t children, they are the result of what happens when the pituitary gland tells the gonads to assault an innocent child with testosterone. What follows is like Gilligan’s Island…everything goes topsy-turvy.
What do you suppose happens after this man has gone off, blissfully ignorant to the perilous nature of his chosen course, and acted on his own belief that the woman meant it when she told him to “Go ahead.”? “Nothing” will be wrong for a very long time.When nothing is wrong, there’s silence for a very long time. It’s not a pleasant, soothing silence. It’s the cacophonous, challenging silence that comes before the storm. This storm is one of nature’s most brutal assaults and as with floods, there’s very little coverage available.
Basically, this is what will occur. While happy to avoid confrontation, the man is enjoying the silence. In his poisoned little mind, he thinks that the silence is a good thing. Even if he knows that it might not be 100% good, he does nothing to shorten the silence. And the interesting thing about this silence is that it is directly proportionate to the length of the storm. A healthy, robust brain would realize that shortening the silence would minimize the damage from the storm. But sadly, testosterone is so damaging to the brain that the victims perform below the level of Pavlov’s dogs. So the silence goes on.
During this silence, there is a female who possesses the man’s personal Holy Grail, a small little package between her legs. And this woman is conducting the silence. While she does so, she simmers. A simmering female is never, ever, under any circumstances, a good thing. While simmering, she is pondering all the things that the testosterone induced jack ass has ever done to annoy, infuriate and exasperate her. The longer the silence, the longer the list of aggravating memories. During this silence, each occasion on the list is recalled with exponentially greater fury, and this fury is far beyond the fury that existed when the individual events occurred.
The fact that the man is not doing a damn thing to shorten the silence is also an ever present consideration, but it takes no energy away from the contemplation of past transgressions. Off in the distance is a faint sound similar to the one that accompanied the great white shark in Jaws.
And then, without warning, and just as the man was beginning to find solace in the silence, dinner is ready.
And then, the storm begins. But, that's OK...go ahead, don’t worry about it. Nothing’s wrong.
...assuring the man who prompted it that I absolutely meant no offense whatsoever. I can see how it was taken that way, but I was actually referring to my relationship with Rick and the way that I would feel when he would give me the silent treatment. Although the comment did spark the feeling that I had been through, it was totally in reference to Rick, not the poor soul you wrote the comment. So, I'm going to stick this back up here and hope that no one throws rocks in my windows.
:):):)
As with everything else on this blog…
…the following is merely my own humble opinion.
A man read the post about what women mean when they say certain things. Then he responded with a few words of his own. It is my feeling that this man meant for his words to be a caveat of some sort. One way or another, he took the time to write the following words and to leave them in the comment section of this blog. So, he had a message to send to someone, apparently women. This is what the MAN had to say:
When you tell a guy "Nothings wrong", he just might believe you. If you tell him "Go ahead", he just might. If you tell him "Don't worry about it", he may not.
I realize that there are people who already recognize the naïve ignorance of these words. Those people are called women. But for those of you with brains that are poisoned by testosterone, let me enlighten you a tad.
Perhaps some testosterone induced jester, thinking that “nothings wrong”, will indeed “go ahead” while not “worrying about it”. Most of them do go through a phase where they actually think they can get away with that sort of wreckles behavior. (And then, about 8 months before they croak, they have an epiphany and realize the error of their ways.)These poor souls genuinely believe that life can be so uncomplicated. It’s almost a tad charming, in a childlike sort of way. But, these aren’t children, they are the result of what happens when the pituitary gland tells the gonads to assault an innocent child with testosterone. What follows is like Gilligan’s Island…everything goes topsy-turvy.
What do you suppose happens after this man has gone off, blissfully ignorant to the perilous nature of his chosen course, and acted on his own belief that the woman meant it when she told him to “Go ahead.”? “Nothing” will be wrong for a very long time.When nothing is wrong, there’s silence for a very long time. It’s not a pleasant, soothing silence. It’s the cacophonous, challenging silence that comes before the storm. This storm is one of nature’s most brutal assaults and as with floods, there’s very little coverage available.
Basically, this is what will occur. While happy to avoid confrontation, the man is enjoying the silence. In his poisoned little mind, he thinks that the silence is a good thing. Even if he knows that it might not be 100% good, he does nothing to shorten the silence. And the interesting thing about this silence is that it is directly proportionate to the length of the storm. A healthy, robust brain would realize that shortening the silence would minimize the damage from the storm. But sadly, testosterone is so damaging to the brain that the victims perform below the level of Pavlov’s dogs. So the silence goes on.
During this silence, there is a female who possesses the man’s personal Holy Grail, a small little package between her legs. And this woman is conducting the silence. While she does so, she simmers. A simmering female is never, ever, under any circumstances, a good thing. While simmering, she is pondering all the things that the testosterone induced jack ass has ever done to annoy, infuriate and exasperate her. The longer the silence, the longer the list of aggravating memories. During this silence, each occasion on the list is recalled with exponentially greater fury, and this fury is far beyond the fury that existed when the individual events occurred.
The fact that the man is not doing a damn thing to shorten the silence is also an ever present consideration, but it takes no energy away from the contemplation of past transgressions. Off in the distance is a faint sound similar to the one that accompanied the great white shark in Jaws.
And then, without warning, and just as the man was beginning to find solace in the silence, dinner is ready.
And then, the storm begins. But, that's OK...go ahead, don’t worry about it. Nothing’s wrong.
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:28 AM
3 Comments:
You all know I am the MAN/poor soul who made the comment, even though Meg left my name off, some of you may notice that in my comment I said "I heard" this. I have heard both jokes and was trying to remember the male version joke I had heard on the comedy channel.
So to make it clear, I wasn't endorsing this, I could never had been married 12 years if I had. Even as a man hopefully more than 8 months from his death bed I fully appreciate the complexity of women.
But being a MAN and having some allegiance to my gender, this post seemed a little heavy handed against my brethren in arms.
After some discussions on various views Meg admitted that I merely sparked her recollection of Rick's poor behavior and it wasn't directed at me. We also discussed the various benefits and problems with testosterone and estrogen, positive and negative adjectives and the like. So we ended our discussion, friendship intact, and with a better understanding of each other.
Remembering this backdrop I’ll make some comments on this post representing my humble opinion.
What he said.
Now in typical manly behavior I should just keep quiet so as not to draw wrath from women, but I’ll break the silence, just because it needs to be broken and I’m fearless when my testosterone is coursing through my veins like a freight train. LOL.
As I read the initial post, it seemed to me that the woman was giving the man the silent treatment for some perceived infraction that occurred because he was unable to read her mind or translate woman speak.
But I found it interesting that Meg felt it was Rick who was ignoring her woman speak that she fully expected him to understand.
So who’s giving who the silent treatment. Early in a relationship, it takes guys time to understand the unique dialect of woman speak that their woman friend is (not) speaking. Oh there are some things that are universal, but each woman has her own unique variations. The other thing is that it is a moving target, as time goes on the woman expects greater mind reading abilities in her man.
I point this out because the joke that I heard and repeated is actually valid in some cases.
So let’s assume that Meg was right (as the woman always feels). Then what we have here is Rick practicing conflict avoidance and Meg wanting to engage him over some infraction he committed.
There’s another joke I heard and will repeat here that says “Women always need to win the argument so why not have it without the man and just give him the results”. Do I need to duck now?
Now this form of passive resistance is crude, but somewhat effective in the short term, the guy doesn’t have to argue. But as pointed out it just allows the female volcano to boil over at the thought that she’s being “ignored”. Ignored isn’t really the right word, because most guys don’t want to ignore women, they just want to avoid conflict.
It all comes down to communication and fighting fairly. Men don’t want to communicate because women often don’t fight fair. Bringing up long past transgressions or the threat of the “package” isn’t going to help resolve the issue at hand.
If the fight is fair and rather than a fight its two people looking for common ground, well, then things can improve. But I am confident that if a male version of the 9 words was developed and if men mistreated woman for an unspoken transgression you wouldn’t be happy either.
Girls, ya know we love you, you know we can’t live without you, just help us make it easier to live with you. So in the name of Peace on Earth, can’t we just get along, say what you mean, no simmering, no past constantly coming up, no “package” games. If guys knew they weren’t in for a lost battle, then they’d be more open to communicating to find a solution.
Now if you don’t mind I have to go get all these arrows removed and get treated for testosterone poisoning, I hope it doesn't hurt or involve my manly "package between my legs"... LOL :-) ;-)
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