I have a 1 PM...
...doctor's appointment and the cable guy is here. It's shortly after noon and he DID find a problem to fix so his trip wasn't a wasted one. The only problem is that he needs my help to give him wire through the floor into the crawlspace.
Since I need to make that appointment, I asked my son if he would help so that I could get dressed. He said, "I'm not going to help that guy."
My son is the one who bitched about the cable being out in the first place. He wouldn't be helping the guy as much as he would be helping me.
When Rick left, I was too sick to drive myself to the doctor so I had to have my son move in with me because I needed help. I think he's gotten rather comfy here now without having to pay any bills. I don't mind, I love my son and would let any one of my kids live here if they needed to. That's what family is, you need to go there for help, they need to help you.
I don't want to make money off of my son, but I don't want to lose any either. And, my time is valuable to me as well. I spend far too much time cleaning messes that I had no part in creating. As if that weren't bad enough, he seems to have an attitude problem and gets mad at me for no reason whatsoever.
Sunday evening, I was quite happy to go to work to get out of the messy house. It worked, I finally felt better and wasn't obsessing over the messy house. Now, I'm looking forward to my California trip just so that I can get away from THIS mess.
And, on top of ALL of that...my father is coming here right NOW! Unless of course, my sister didn't call me to tell me that the plans had been changed. So, my father is on his way here today and as far as he knows, I don't know that at all. So, he's planning one of his visits where he'll call me from Macon and say, "I'm 2 hours away!"
I have too many things to do this week to get ready for my trip, plan the angiogram, work and do the laundry...cleaning for my father and his white glove test is at the bottom of my list. So...daddy will have a mess.
I sort of feel as though I'm being taken for a fool here...ya think?
OK...now the kid came out of his room whining that there's no cable in his room. I told him to go catch the cable guy himself and he said, "I just woke up, I can't talk to him now."
I want to scream. But, instead, I'll go to the doctor late.
OK, see ya!
Meg
...doctor's appointment and the cable guy is here. It's shortly after noon and he DID find a problem to fix so his trip wasn't a wasted one. The only problem is that he needs my help to give him wire through the floor into the crawlspace.
Since I need to make that appointment, I asked my son if he would help so that I could get dressed. He said, "I'm not going to help that guy."
My son is the one who bitched about the cable being out in the first place. He wouldn't be helping the guy as much as he would be helping me.
When Rick left, I was too sick to drive myself to the doctor so I had to have my son move in with me because I needed help. I think he's gotten rather comfy here now without having to pay any bills. I don't mind, I love my son and would let any one of my kids live here if they needed to. That's what family is, you need to go there for help, they need to help you.
I don't want to make money off of my son, but I don't want to lose any either. And, my time is valuable to me as well. I spend far too much time cleaning messes that I had no part in creating. As if that weren't bad enough, he seems to have an attitude problem and gets mad at me for no reason whatsoever.
Sunday evening, I was quite happy to go to work to get out of the messy house. It worked, I finally felt better and wasn't obsessing over the messy house. Now, I'm looking forward to my California trip just so that I can get away from THIS mess.
And, on top of ALL of that...my father is coming here right NOW! Unless of course, my sister didn't call me to tell me that the plans had been changed. So, my father is on his way here today and as far as he knows, I don't know that at all. So, he's planning one of his visits where he'll call me from Macon and say, "I'm 2 hours away!"
I have too many things to do this week to get ready for my trip, plan the angiogram, work and do the laundry...cleaning for my father and his white glove test is at the bottom of my list. So...daddy will have a mess.
I sort of feel as though I'm being taken for a fool here...ya think?
OK...now the kid came out of his room whining that there's no cable in his room. I told him to go catch the cable guy himself and he said, "I just woke up, I can't talk to him now."
I want to scream. But, instead, I'll go to the doctor late.
OK, see ya!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:13 AM
4 Comments:
Girlfriend, sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is make them grow up. It's one of the hardest things to do, and yes, they'll be pissed off for awhile, but they eventually come around.
It's time for him to grow up. Of course, right now he has a maid, a cook, a laundry woman, an ATM (you KNOW you palm cash off on him!) a babysitter, and whatever else he needs at the snap of his hand. All for free! Including food & utilities! Wow! What a deal!
I'll bet he has no cash in the bank, either. Just spends whatever he wants.
You need to step up. Tell him he has 3 or 6 months to get his poop together. He must have a set amount saved up by that time ($1500 /3000) and he needs to find his own place. Make sure during his time with you that he is saving money. That takes away any excuses (I can't afford my own place, etc.) And during this time, he has responsibilities. He cleans up after himself. He does the yard weekly. He takes out the trash. He helps you with keeping the house clean. He keeps his mitts off the a/c (ok, I threw that one in for grins). Let him know YOU are the one that is sick and needs help, not him.
Tough love, baby. Either that, or count on having him live with you forever.
Hopefully, he'll move close by so he can come over for dinner once a week.
Good luck!
Donna,
Actually, I don't give him cash...he wouldn't ask for that. He would, on the other hand, add things to my shopping list which is sort of the same thing.
You're right of course and I've been thinking about that sort of stuff and the fact that I'm not helping him this way.
This is a tough one because of how much of his help I need. I do have some medical problems and I never know when I'll end up in the ER again. Also, I'm pretty much terified to drive ever since that time when I woke up in the ER after I went to my doctor for a regular check up. One minute I was filling out paperwork in my doctor's waiting room and the next thing I knew I was in the ER, with all 4 extremities tied down. Then, I was invited to go to the neuro-intensive care unit for a few days at Emory University Hospital because the community hospital around the corner didn't know how to treat a cavernous malformation.
Now, the reason that I'm going to LA is to spend time with my daughter before the angiogram which will show whether I need a coiling procedure, total brain surgery or nothing at all.
And...if everything goes the way it should go, I'll be working in LA so I won't go broke while I'm there. I'll be paying all the bills from LA. The agency that I've been talking to will supply me a furnished apartment so it won't cost me anything to stay out there nor will I have to burden my daughter.
In order to be able to keep the job that I have here, I'll have to fly home every couple of weeks or so and work my shifts here. This job is too good to just let it go.
I'm hoping that my absence will shed some light on how much I do for him.
Basically, it's just tough for me to give him the tough love even though I know it's the right thing to do because I am actually quite dependent upon him, probably more so than he's dependent upon me.
See? I'm screwed whichever way I turn...as usual.
This is where I scream out of frustration.
Meg
Mea culpa. I forgot about the driving incident (not that it wasn't important).
I think you're right. Being gone for a few weeks and having to deal with it all by himself should wake him up a bit. Just remind him the house better look exactly the same as when you left. Of course, he'll wait until 2 hrs. before your plane lands to start....(he he).
I think this CA trip will be the start for really good things for you. The Bi-coastal Blogger--if anyone can sew, you need a red cape.
Anyway, good luck with all. Funny how things work out the way they're supposed to. Sometimes we just get a little impatient.
BTW: love how your sister didn't get the whole video thing...
That's OK, as I said, you were right. So, that just adds to my guilt. That's OK, I worry about everything, one more thing to feel badly about won't break me.
Actually, I hope the house looks a LOT better when I get home than it does right now. It's a wreck now and there's not a damn thing that I can do about it because I have to sleep so that I can work tonight. And I have so much CRAP to do now you wouldn't believe it.
I always think that there's something great just around the bend...let's see what it is this time!
I don't know what kind of bi-coastal blogger I'll be...how cheaply can I get a lap-top?
Yeah, my sister is a bit slow on the uptake...but she's the baby so we let it slide:)
Meg
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