Aw crap...
...according to YouTube, I am one sad and lonely individual. I signed in and it said:
You have nothing in your video log.
You have no favorites.
You have no subscribers.
You have no Friends.
And then, as if just to rub it in a bit more, it said:
There are no comments for this user.
Oh well. It's New Year's Eve and I have nothing to do. Not one stupid thing. I could go out and find something to do but I don't ever go out on New Year's Eve. I did it once and there was a blizzard in front of me being navigated by a bunch of drunken assholes. It was so scary that I made a deal with the Lord. I promised Him that if he got me home, I would never, ever drive on New Year's Eve again. And, I haven't. So, unless some really handsome guy pulls up in a stretch limo or Cheek Dude breaks his other date and decides to take me instead, I'll be sitting here all night.
The limo scenario is much more likely because in my mind, Cheek Dude is now a bum who plays women for tickets to great football games. There, I found a way to get through the day. Cheek Dude will be a bum for now. I reserve the right to change my mind later but for the time being, I'll pretend that he's a normal man and is only going out with me because I HAVEN'T fucked him and as soon as I do he'll be history.
This is actually turning out to be rather fun. Let's see, what else can we predict about Cheek Dude simply because he has testicles? If I took Rick and had him behave EXACTLY the same way that Cheek Dude has behaved, I would be sure to:
1. Find out that he just goes around screwing women he thinks he can screw.
2. Find out that he gave me the fudge and Chex-mix that another woman gave him.
3. Find out that a woman DID indeed decorate his house and she's off on a binge somewhere because he cheated on her.
4. Find out that he leaves skid-marks too.
Shit. (No pun intended.)
I mean, think about it. What's easier to believe? That there is a really nice guy who cooks fudge and Chex-mix or that there's a jerk giving away stuff that a woman made for him? In my world there are more of the latter than there are the former.
And seriously, why would a guy be so nice? Isn't it easier to believe that he's another one of those penis people that needs to conquer all the pussy in town? I've met more of the penis people than I have the nice guys. Maybe he's just really, really good at this. After all, he IS a great kisser. And just how DID he get that way? Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
On top of all that, I'm supposed to believe he wipes his ASS too? I don't think so. I've seen one too many skidmarks in my life.
I don't know how I could have been so stupid in the first place, what with that genius level IQ down there and all.
This is all OK. I'm cool with him being a bum now. I know how to deal with them. I understand that...I will just kick his ass back down. The last guy I put on a pedestal was Rick and we all know how that turned out. I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to think that this guy is what he seems to be.
...according to YouTube, I am one sad and lonely individual. I signed in and it said:
You have nothing in your video log.
You have no favorites.
You have no subscribers.
You have no Friends.
And then, as if just to rub it in a bit more, it said:
There are no comments for this user.
Oh well. It's New Year's Eve and I have nothing to do. Not one stupid thing. I could go out and find something to do but I don't ever go out on New Year's Eve. I did it once and there was a blizzard in front of me being navigated by a bunch of drunken assholes. It was so scary that I made a deal with the Lord. I promised Him that if he got me home, I would never, ever drive on New Year's Eve again. And, I haven't. So, unless some really handsome guy pulls up in a stretch limo or Cheek Dude breaks his other date and decides to take me instead, I'll be sitting here all night.
The limo scenario is much more likely because in my mind, Cheek Dude is now a bum who plays women for tickets to great football games. There, I found a way to get through the day. Cheek Dude will be a bum for now. I reserve the right to change my mind later but for the time being, I'll pretend that he's a normal man and is only going out with me because I HAVEN'T fucked him and as soon as I do he'll be history.
This is actually turning out to be rather fun. Let's see, what else can we predict about Cheek Dude simply because he has testicles? If I took Rick and had him behave EXACTLY the same way that Cheek Dude has behaved, I would be sure to:
1. Find out that he just goes around screwing women he thinks he can screw.
2. Find out that he gave me the fudge and Chex-mix that another woman gave him.
3. Find out that a woman DID indeed decorate his house and she's off on a binge somewhere because he cheated on her.
4. Find out that he leaves skid-marks too.
Shit. (No pun intended.)
I mean, think about it. What's easier to believe? That there is a really nice guy who cooks fudge and Chex-mix or that there's a jerk giving away stuff that a woman made for him? In my world there are more of the latter than there are the former.
And seriously, why would a guy be so nice? Isn't it easier to believe that he's another one of those penis people that needs to conquer all the pussy in town? I've met more of the penis people than I have the nice guys. Maybe he's just really, really good at this. After all, he IS a great kisser. And just how DID he get that way? Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
On top of all that, I'm supposed to believe he wipes his ASS too? I don't think so. I've seen one too many skidmarks in my life.
I don't know how I could have been so stupid in the first place, what with that genius level IQ down there and all.
This is all OK. I'm cool with him being a bum now. I know how to deal with them. I understand that...I will just kick his ass back down. The last guy I put on a pedestal was Rick and we all know how that turned out. I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to think that this guy is what he seems to be.
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:12 AM
9 Comments:
Happy 2008 Meg from downunder!
he better not break your heart or we'll take a wooden plank and break his knee caps!
LOLOL @ your post! I'm not even going to go there. I mean, after the tired-ass questioning and the investigative skills that we had to put to use AFTER the guys cheated on us, do we have to employ them skills for life now? Shit, girl!! Does it ever end? Cant we just relax?!
Anyway, listen - have a good new years eve and may the new year bring you much prosperity, health, and all the good things you've ever dreamed of!
xxx
Could you maybe be more upset about him maybe having a date for the game than you realize??
He sounds like a nice guy...everyone deserves a chance until they prove themselves to be assholes. Granted...most men end up that way...but there are a few exceptions.
Tracie
Absolutely. That's why I said:
There, I found a way to get through the day. Cheek Dude will be a bum for now. I reserve the right to change my mind later but for the time being, I'll pretend that he's a normal man and is only going out with me because I HAVEN'T fucked him and as soon as I do he'll be history.
He called before he left to ask if we could get together tomorrow and I said yes. But for now, while he's at the game, I'm gonna act like he's a bum.
LOLOLOL...poor guy. His knee caps have no idea what they're in for.
It's all good. I'll be back in like with him tomorrow.
I have no idea how to turn my radar off, Sol, how about you?
Yes - we'll make his knees into some good ol' fashioned dog chowder!
no I don't know - take a xanax?
Oh, I know... Like the wicked witch of the northeast once said - TAKE A VALIUM!!!
:) :) :)
LOLOL, exactly. The valium shit was actually good advice, she just gave it to the wrong person.
DOG FOOD! If he hurts me I'll feed him to Payton!
:)
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