Maybe being married to a pathological liar...

...for most of my adult life has left me a tad jaded, but when I get an email with this sentence on a Saturday night:

"...My son has talked me into taking him to a movie...so may be too late to call when I get home, let me know when you will be around tomorrow and I'll give you a buzz and say hi..."

I tend to think it's a lie.

I have no reason to doubt this guy. He didn't owe me a phone call and I wasn't expecting anything...not even the email. If I didn't hear from the guy for another week I wouldn't have batted an eyelash. But, since he did go out of his way to write that...I must say, I have already crossed him off of my list of Men to Do.

I didn't expect a phone call so he had no reason to explain himself. I don't even know him well enough to expect the slightest degree of loyalty so even if he had a date and SAID so, I wouldn't have minded in the least. I wonder what men think we women would do if they ever just said, "I have another date tonight." Is that so tough?

I actually DO have another date TONIGHT (I have to tell you something else about tonight and I will). Although I wouldn't offer the information, if he asked me where I was going I would tell him. I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to explain myself when no question was asked. That would just be stupid. There wouldn't be a reason to do that and since he did, I have to wonder why.

I responded with a short, pleasant email that ended with this:

Son talked you into a late movie on a Saturday night. Interesting. Mental note just made of that one.

Do you think he understood what I meant? Do you think I'm being overly suspicious?

That's why I never go out with men more than a few times. I always find something wrong with them quickly. Either they say something stupid that tips their hand or they eat their peas with a knife...one way or another, they all tend to annoy me.

Even my fuck-buddy is afraid of me since he ran into my son while he was with another chick. First of all, my son never told me that until last week when he and I were watching a game at the bar around the corner. I turned to my left and fuck buddy dude was sitting there smiling like an idiot. My son and I were just getting ready to leave and as we walked out I said, "I haven't heard from him in a while." To which my son said, "That's probably because he thought that I told you about the girls I've seen him with."

Well, that makes sense.

If my son HAD told me that, I wouldn't have cared.

I've had men assume that I was jealous after two dates. It annoys the hell out of me because they never seem to believe that I don't care at all. It takes me a VERY long time to care enough to be jealous. You know, now that I think of it, I have a perfect retort for when they assume that I'm jealous. I'll just say, "My, aren't you the arrogant one." Damn. I wish I had thought of that before.

OH! I just remembered who it was that thought that I was jealous...it was the fuckbuddy dude! You know, I need to find a way to let him know what an idiot he is. I think I'm going to send him this post. Yeah, that's the ticket.

I guess I should talk to him directly, doncha think? I do. I'll even use his name because I've personally had so many Mike's that the name won't pin him down at all.

Dear Mike number I don't know I've lost count,

You nit wit. Did you actually think that I would have cared if my son saw you with other women? Did you think that I don't go out with other men? I thought you knew what this was...apparently you didn't. Remember the ring you left on my sink? You thought that I would care enough to fuck it up. Do you remember what I did? As soon as I saw it I called you and told you where it was. Why did you ask if I would fuck it up? Why would you think that I would do that? You are an arrogant ass. If, for some reason, you see yourself as anything more than a pretty piece of meat, I'm so sorry. Let me give you a clue. If, after a few years of fucking someone, you haven't progressed beyond the fucking...it's probably all that's expected from you. You're a man, I'm sure you're familiar with the concept.

Jeez, what a dick. Now I'm out a fuckbuddy.

Anyway, what I wanted to tell you about tonight is, I'm going out to do a scene for a movie. It's being shot in a bar in downtown Atlanta and I have to go out and get all dressed up for that one. Since I'll already be dressed up, I'm going to go out to meet a guy after the shoot. That's an efficient use of my primping time.

I think I'll go back to bed now...the sun's about to come out and I'll never get back to sleep if it comes in my bedroom window.

Ciao!

Meg