United States Surgeon General Declares Santa to be "bad role model"
When I was a little girl, the United States Post Office officially declared Kris Kringle to be the one and only Santa Claus. Today our government has officially declared Santa to be a bad man because he isn't a thin, ripped young man with a 29 inch waist.
Recently, acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson declared that Santa is too heavy to be a good role model. With a perfectly straight face this yahoo told the Boston Herald, “It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise… Santa is no different.”
According to Dictionary.com, the definition of role model is: “a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, esp. by younger people.” I’ve never known a kid stupid enough to think that he could grow up to be Santa Claus. Every child that I’ve ever known has been quite aware that there is only one Santa Claus and that he is a fat, jolly person.
Even parents are smart enough to prod kids to eat vegetables by telling them that if they do, they’ll grow up to be big and strong like Pop-eye. No mother has ever urged a child to eat their cookies so they can be big and fat like Santa Claus. The kids wouldn’t buy it anyway, they don’t want to BE Santa…they just want the toys he brings.
As ridiculous as this all seems, can you imagine where it could lead? How long will it be before the health police condemn the Easter Bunny? And once they get rid of Santa and that Easter Bunny dude, they’re only a hop, skip and a jump away from making Thanksgiving Dinner politically incorrect. If we aren’t careful we could end up with a giant blob of tofu on our plates come holiday time. That's even worse than a lump of coal in our stocking.
If we’re going to make Santa slim down, we had better get ready for the Surgeon General to take salt off of all tables, outlaw French fries and arrest children who bring cupcakes to school on their birthdays. We've pretty much gotten rid of trick or treating in my lifetime, it looks like they'll be going after Christmas from every direction next.
When I was a little girl I was crazy about Peter Pan. At night I waited for him to fly into my window and take me away to Never-Never Land. I didn’t want to be Wendy, I wanted to be me and I wanted to be me with Peter Pan. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew that Wendy lived in London and that I was in a totally different part of the world. But since everyone knows that Peter Pan can fly, he could easily have flown to my house.
Back when my mind was still capable of a child’s magical thinking, I saw the tooth fairy walking down the hall, Santa standing in my kitchen and an elf sitting in a tiny chair under my Christmas tree. I still remember seeing all three of them. Once I even saw Peter Pan’s shadow on my bedroom curtain as he flew toward my house. (It could have been a cowboy on a flying horse, but he flew away when I opened the curtain to let him in so I’ve never been quite sure who that was.)
You couldn’t have told me that I didn’t see those things when I was a kid because I DID see them. I remember exactly what I saw and it was the tooth fairy, Santa and an elf. Period. As an adult I realize that they were actually a pretty blonde babysitter, my pregnant mother and a head attached to a toy beauty parlor chair. But, my parents believed me when I told them what I had witnessed.
They believed me because they knew something that I didn’t. The amazing ability to believe in the most magical of all childhood notions, Santa Claus, is a fleeting talent. Shortly after we learn where the North Pole is, we lose the skills that make it possible to believe in flying reindeer and a jolly, fat man who brings us toys on the back of his big, red sleigh.
Thank God for parents who allow their children to exercise the mind’s incredible gift of magical thinking. And shame on any Grinch who would tell children that Santa isn’t a good man because he ate too many cookies. I wonder what the Surgeon General would say to a little boy who says, “But my Daddy is a fat man…is he bad too?”
role model. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved December 01, 2007, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/role%20model
Recently, acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson declared that Santa is too heavy to be a good role model. With a perfectly straight face this yahoo told the Boston Herald, “It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise… Santa is no different.”
According to Dictionary.com, the definition of role model is: “a person whose behavior, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, esp. by younger people.” I’ve never known a kid stupid enough to think that he could grow up to be Santa Claus. Every child that I’ve ever known has been quite aware that there is only one Santa Claus and that he is a fat, jolly person.
Even parents are smart enough to prod kids to eat vegetables by telling them that if they do, they’ll grow up to be big and strong like Pop-eye. No mother has ever urged a child to eat their cookies so they can be big and fat like Santa Claus. The kids wouldn’t buy it anyway, they don’t want to BE Santa…they just want the toys he brings.
As ridiculous as this all seems, can you imagine where it could lead? How long will it be before the health police condemn the Easter Bunny? And once they get rid of Santa and that Easter Bunny dude, they’re only a hop, skip and a jump away from making Thanksgiving Dinner politically incorrect. If we aren’t careful we could end up with a giant blob of tofu on our plates come holiday time. That's even worse than a lump of coal in our stocking.
If we’re going to make Santa slim down, we had better get ready for the Surgeon General to take salt off of all tables, outlaw French fries and arrest children who bring cupcakes to school on their birthdays. We've pretty much gotten rid of trick or treating in my lifetime, it looks like they'll be going after Christmas from every direction next.
When I was a little girl I was crazy about Peter Pan. At night I waited for him to fly into my window and take me away to Never-Never Land. I didn’t want to be Wendy, I wanted to be me and I wanted to be me with Peter Pan. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew that Wendy lived in London and that I was in a totally different part of the world. But since everyone knows that Peter Pan can fly, he could easily have flown to my house.
Back when my mind was still capable of a child’s magical thinking, I saw the tooth fairy walking down the hall, Santa standing in my kitchen and an elf sitting in a tiny chair under my Christmas tree. I still remember seeing all three of them. Once I even saw Peter Pan’s shadow on my bedroom curtain as he flew toward my house. (It could have been a cowboy on a flying horse, but he flew away when I opened the curtain to let him in so I’ve never been quite sure who that was.)
You couldn’t have told me that I didn’t see those things when I was a kid because I DID see them. I remember exactly what I saw and it was the tooth fairy, Santa and an elf. Period. As an adult I realize that they were actually a pretty blonde babysitter, my pregnant mother and a head attached to a toy beauty parlor chair. But, my parents believed me when I told them what I had witnessed.
They believed me because they knew something that I didn’t. The amazing ability to believe in the most magical of all childhood notions, Santa Claus, is a fleeting talent. Shortly after we learn where the North Pole is, we lose the skills that make it possible to believe in flying reindeer and a jolly, fat man who brings us toys on the back of his big, red sleigh.
Thank God for parents who allow their children to exercise the mind’s incredible gift of magical thinking. And shame on any Grinch who would tell children that Santa isn’t a good man because he ate too many cookies. I wonder what the Surgeon General would say to a little boy who says, “But my Daddy is a fat man…is he bad too?”
role model. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved December 01, 2007, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/role%20model
posted by Meg Kelso | 8:17 AM
5 Comments:
That is so sad. Children should be allowed to have the magic of youth.
I saw a news special the other morning where they are going to try to make all companies and restaurants drastically cut their salt or they can be fined.
And most schools in the US no longer allow sweets and candy to be brought in for holidays or birthdays. Fruits and veggies are brought in instead. We all should eat healthy...but we should all be allowed to indulge ourselves now and then.
Tracie
Porn stars are thin. Are they good role models? George Bush is the friggin' President...is HE a good role model?
There are some pretty hideous people out there who are thin, and some pretty wonderful people out there who aren't. What you look like has nothing to do with your value as a human being. Teaching children otherwise is irresponsible.
Skinny is easy. Decent and thoughtful, not so much. Values are frighteningly screwed up in a place where the highest doctor in the nation can contribute to the poor self-esteem of so many citizens. That moron had better apologize, and quickly. I love fruit and I eat it constantly. But I always keep cookies in my kitchen. I guess that makes me a rotten grandmother.
How despicable and short sighted! Children do not need to be perfect- they need to know that there are all shapes and sizes and colors etc. of people who are worthy humans in the world. It should not be a cookie cutter world! Also,I heard that someone in Europe suggested that Santa's ho-ho-ho is 'inappropriate' and should be changed to hee- hee- hee! Have you ever heard anything more ridiculous!!!!!
LOL, actually it's Ha Ha Ha. But who who who gives a shit? They're afraid Santa will frighten the children. Hell, which one of us doesn't have a picture of a freaked out baby screaming on Santa's lap? We've all tortured our kids thusly and it has made them much stronger for it all.
:)
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