V-8 Juice SUCKS!

Hi there!

Once again I'm sitting here all alone while my kid and sister are out enjoying themselves. Cheek Dude's mother is in town and we may go out tomorrow night but tonight I decided to veg and let him play with Mom. Whatever, I'm here, I'm bored and I was sitting in my living room with the 70's station on, staring at the stupid little factoids that they flash every 20 seconds. They take 2 seconds to read so I spent a lot of time just looking at a picture that took 1 second to take in.

Before I gave up on TV that you look at and listen to...I saw a commercial that said V-8 Juice now comes in a new form. As I could have told you 30 years ago, hit me on the head all you want, I AIN'T drinking no fricking vegetable juice. Now that stupid company is trying to push a new product on us no-vegetable-juice-drink-ers. They've created a V-8 that is "half fruit and half vegetable!!!! But you only taste the fruit!"

I'm not a jack ass, there's still at least 4 vegetables in that crap and I'm not falling for it. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I know there's more than 4 fruits...why not just find 4 more and call it F-8? I might drink that but vegetables go in soup, not stuff you could potentially chug. Chugging celery just doesn't do it for me. And to tell you the truth, I find the entire concept insulting. I guess they figured that a bunch of yahoos who would slap their own heads wouldn't notice the tomato and beet juice in their fruit drink.

See, this is why I don't watch commercials. I holler at the TV like my male Italian in-laws used to do during football games. It's so damn infuriating to have my intelligence insulted by people who actually advertise their sugar as though it's worth twice the price of some off-brand sugar. Sometimes I have to take a pill. Have you ever spat out your coffee after realizing that a cheap spouse has switched sugars on you? I defy anyone to discern the difference between Domino's Sugar and the local store brand.

Then there's the ribbon chick, she floats throughout the screen covered by nothing but a well placed ribbon. I don't even know what the hell she's advertising...that crap is enough to make any normal female feel inadequate. Men compete with fat, bald buffoons on TV. Even Fat, bald buffoon husbands have drop dead gorgeous wives. What's up with that? Just once I'd like to see some fat, bald buffoon of a female married to hunk like Matthew McConahey. Oh, wait...I forgot about Angelina Jolie. But that's only one.

Well, it's late at night and I'm wide awake. I swallowed a Xanax a while back to make myself tired but it hasn't kicked in yet. Maybe it's a 2 Xanax night, I should know soon. I'm getting sick of another playlist of songs so that's annoying me now. One Less Egg To Fry?...how the hell hard was that second egg to fry? What was her problem...did she break a lot of yolks turning it over too soon? She should have just scrambled the damn egg in the first place and then we wouldn't have to hear about that damn egg at all. Whatever. Damn, maybe I should take that second Xanax. OK then...I'll even do something that I can't tell you about because it's a green secret. That'll put me to sleep.