I'd like to write...

...something witty, interesting and thought-provoking for you guys. But it seems as though my mind is stuck in Cheek Dude mode. I'm having a tough time thinking about anything else. I haven't done this since the 80's. I fell asleep thinking about him last night and I woke up doing the same. It's almost silly to act like this at my age.

When Rick decided to trash our marriage, the thing that upset me the most was the fact that I trusted him with these feelings and he didn't find me, my feelings or our marriage worth the time and effort it would take to save them. It was as though me and our marriage were as disposable as a styrofoam cup. When he left, I was quite convinced that I was too old to ever feel like this again. He still trashed my opportunity to have a marriage that lasted for a lifetime and as bad as that was, I'm starting to feel as though he did me a huge favor.

You know, things happen for reasons that we don't always understand. If I'm driving somewhere and I get lost or take a wrong turn, I used to get annoyed. Then it occurred to me that getting lost could quite possibly have kept me from getting hit by a huge truck. Maybe God had me get lost because he didn't want that truck to smash me in my car.

I used to say that the rockiest of roads lead to the best places. I've been on the rockiest road that I've ever navigated since Rick left. If my logic was right, I should be headed to one HELLUVA great place. I can see Cheek Dude being that destination.

You guys wouldn't believe how good this one is. He's funny, smart, good looking and most importantly...TALL! He's a great father and a pretty damn good housekeeper. He takes care of business and does whatever he needs to do. He's a really, really good kisser and Lord knows I love to kiss! We sit on the couch and kiss for hours, breaking every so often to watch a cartoon.

If this relationship turns into something long term, every damn tear that I cried for Rick will have been worth it. Solaris, are you listening? We both married losers and then we were upset when they left. Hell girl, it was just God's way of setting us up to be single when the really good ones showed up!

Damn, my sister just blew my morning fantasizing. She went to Florida for a court date that should have been yesterday but she ended up in the hospital which made her miss the court date anyway. She just called me crying because the nurses won't bring her any pain medicine. I have to handle that. This is what I do so I know how to fix it. In the hospital world, the squeaky wheel gets the oil and I'm about to call a house supervisor and squeak like a motherfucker.

I'll be back after I handle this. Maybe by then my brain will be able to think about something else besides Cheek Dude.

See ya!