Oh this is just charming.
My battery is dead. Now what? I got out of bed at 5:30 this morning and got dressed just so that I could go turn my key in a dead engine. That was fun. Oh well, I'm sort of stuck here now.
Is there anyone out there who would like to come and take me out to run a few errands? If so, just come on over and blow your horn.
See, this is why I need a man. It's not JUST that I like to play with them...this is serious. I don't want to do man-stuff. I could...I've seen it done. But, as long as I don't do it, I don't have to do it. If I knew how, it would be expected of me. I learned that a LONG LONG time ago. If a woman does something ONE TIME...there is a man around somewhere who's watching her do it and now thinks, "Oh, she can do that from now on..cool." And they never, ever do it again. It is now the female's job.
There are a few things that I have simply never done and one of them is car stuff. I can gas the sucker up and that's it. If I really, really had to, I could probably put some sort of liquid in a container-type thingie under the hood but I'd probably just get the guy who sold it to me to do it. Of course you have to start before you buy the liquid. That way you don't even have to go out to your car and fake-try yourself, they just follow you out of the store because you are too ignorant to work on anything with a combustible engine inside of it.
As a matter of fact, this is how I change tires...I open the trunk, take out 2 pieces of a jack and face oncoming traffic (standing OUT of it of course). Then, I stare at the 2 things in my hand and look confused. That's all there is to it. I don't mind changing tires.
It just occurred to me that I only know how to work on cars that have broken down on the side of the road. If the stupid thing is in my driveway, I don't know what to do with it. I suppose I could push it into the street and cry. That works well too.
I don't like to take out the trash, although I have done it a few times since Rick left...but I let it overflow before I do it. That's to get my son's attention. He's the resident man-trash dude-car fixer dude. Then he bitches a bit about it being overflowing as though it's MY fault. He should have emptied it sooner. I don't let the dishes overflow, he shouldn't let the trash overflow. If he doesn't get to it before my clean floor is in jeopardy, I'll do it myself. But I won't be happy about it.
Damn, I didn't have to get out of bed this morning. I think I should set my alarm clock for the middle of the night and then when it goes off, I can just go back to sleep. That's SUCH a nice feeling. But now I have to go look out the window to see how much traffic is out there. Interstates are much easier to work on than neighborhood streets.
My battery is dead. Now what? I got out of bed at 5:30 this morning and got dressed just so that I could go turn my key in a dead engine. That was fun. Oh well, I'm sort of stuck here now.
Is there anyone out there who would like to come and take me out to run a few errands? If so, just come on over and blow your horn.
See, this is why I need a man. It's not JUST that I like to play with them...this is serious. I don't want to do man-stuff. I could...I've seen it done. But, as long as I don't do it, I don't have to do it. If I knew how, it would be expected of me. I learned that a LONG LONG time ago. If a woman does something ONE TIME...there is a man around somewhere who's watching her do it and now thinks, "Oh, she can do that from now on..cool." And they never, ever do it again. It is now the female's job.
There are a few things that I have simply never done and one of them is car stuff. I can gas the sucker up and that's it. If I really, really had to, I could probably put some sort of liquid in a container-type thingie under the hood but I'd probably just get the guy who sold it to me to do it. Of course you have to start before you buy the liquid. That way you don't even have to go out to your car and fake-try yourself, they just follow you out of the store because you are too ignorant to work on anything with a combustible engine inside of it.
As a matter of fact, this is how I change tires...I open the trunk, take out 2 pieces of a jack and face oncoming traffic (standing OUT of it of course). Then, I stare at the 2 things in my hand and look confused. That's all there is to it. I don't mind changing tires.
It just occurred to me that I only know how to work on cars that have broken down on the side of the road. If the stupid thing is in my driveway, I don't know what to do with it. I suppose I could push it into the street and cry. That works well too.
I don't like to take out the trash, although I have done it a few times since Rick left...but I let it overflow before I do it. That's to get my son's attention. He's the resident man-trash dude-car fixer dude. Then he bitches a bit about it being overflowing as though it's MY fault. He should have emptied it sooner. I don't let the dishes overflow, he shouldn't let the trash overflow. If he doesn't get to it before my clean floor is in jeopardy, I'll do it myself. But I won't be happy about it.
Damn, I didn't have to get out of bed this morning. I think I should set my alarm clock for the middle of the night and then when it goes off, I can just go back to sleep. That's SUCH a nice feeling. But now I have to go look out the window to see how much traffic is out there. Interstates are much easier to work on than neighborhood streets.
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:24 AM
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