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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Ahhh...

...it's been a very pleasant, very quiet Sunday. I think my dad needed today to relax. He still has to do a few more tasks related to everything that's happened but most of them couldn't be done Sunday so he had a chance to relax somewhat. Yesterday ended a bunch of the pressure so now he just has some minor details to take care of.

But first, tomorrow morning I'm taking him to Town and Country Hospital in Tampa to file a complaint on the nurse that "took care" of Jean the day she died. He had a hideous experience while Jean was dying and those poor excuses for nurses made her death as tough on my father as they could have.

My dad noticed that the tube up Jean's nose was pulling her nose to the side. He asked the nurse if she could tape the tubing in a way that it didn't pull on her nose. The nurse wouldn't do it. I can tell you that it was NOT an unreasonable request. When the patient is dying, our responsibility literally covers the loved ones of the dying patient. We absolutely are taught to care for them as a HUGE part of the dying process. If the patient has less to worry about because you have handled the family with respect and you've gained their confidence...you've done your job properly. Also, it should go without saying that we shouldn't make matters worse when people are dealing with some of the most emotionally wrenching days of their lives.

Well, my father persisted in attempting to get Jean's tube taped properly. The nurse finally said to him, "Listen, it's not hurting her and she's brain dead anyway." (If that was her reasoning, what harm would the tape have done?)

My father responded, "How do you know it's not hurting her and what if she just heard you?" We're taught to ALWAYS assume that the patient CAN hear what you say. You always remove the loved one from the room to make such comments...if they NEED to be made. This one didn't need to be made...much less over Jean in her hospital bed.

At this point, my father demanded another nurse. It just so happens that I had already told him that he should assume that she CAN hear him...that nurses do. How the hell does anyone know for sure? You ABSOLUTELY assume they CAN hear you...period. It's Nursing 101. Anyway, he got Jean a different nurse. But it didn't stop the indignities. At some point in the dying process, all there is to do is care for the dignity of the patient and the loved ones.

Another thing that we do when a patient dies is remove all signs of treatments. We remove the catheter, IV access, NG tubes, trach tubes, tape and dressings (unless the dressing covers a bad sore, then I at least put a simple clean dressing on)...I even take off the arm bands. Then I make sure the sheets are clean and that the patient is clean as well. I comb hair, wash faces, change gowns and cover respectfully in a clean hospital bed so that when the family sees their loved one for the last time, it's as pleasant as it can be under the circumstances.

Jean was hooked up to monitors as she was in the ICU. My dad noticed that her blood pressure just had 2 X's and he called the nurse who had just taken Jean as her patient. THAT nurse was downstairs eating lunch so the first nurse laughed because she thought it was funny that my father had gotten her kicked out of the room and now he needed someone who wasn't there. She got quite a kick out of that.

The thing he wanted to know is...what do the 2 X's mean? When he finally got a nurse in there, she felt for a pulse and said, "It means she's dead." Then she walked out of the room. My father sat there waiting for someone to remove things from her body. I didn't tell him to expect that...he just naturally expected it. He wanted to say good-bye to her without the tubes in her mouth and her nose...not to mention the catheter and the IV lines. They left her there on dirty sheets with a dirty pillow case and a dirty face that should have been cleaned in the first place. My dad was afraid to clean it himself because of all the tubes going into her face. He kept asking people to come in and take the tubes out of her face. He told me that he wanted to kiss her one last time but he couldn't because of the tubes.

Anyway, he waited for a couple of hours and he couldn't get anyone to take the stuff out or off so he just left. Oh...how I wished he had called me. I would have told him what EVERYONE should do when faced with an insane nurse...pick up the phone and ask the hospital operator for the house supervisor. Nothing less is acceptable...there is always a house supervisor and her job is to make the patients happy. But, he didn't call me so I couldn't help him at that moment.

Can you imagine what he went through? And this is how he will remember his wife for the rest of HIS life. I wish you could sue someone for such gross dereliction of duty. The smart ass comments and the laughter when he NEEDED someone. (Jean was dead and he needed someone to come in and tell him what was wrong. He couldn't tell because the ventilator was on and it looked like she was breathing and he just didn't know what the changes on the monitor meant. Don't forget...those nurses can see the monitors in the nurses station. They knew she was dead and no one was in a hurry to help the annoying old man who had just lost his life partner.)

Some people should be nurses and some should clean offices at night when no people are around for them to be cruel to. Too bad you can't sue a nurse for being a total ass and for leaving a dead woman lying in filth and full of tubes for hours. But, you can see to it that she doesn't do it to any other patients and I'm going to do just that...first thing in the morning.

:)

7 Comments:

Blogger akakarma said...

That's shocking (not surprising sadly). I'm glad you're going to pursue it- you go Meg!

May 05, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How awful. I hope he or even you call the hospital and have something done about what happened. In a situation where a loved one is near death the family should be treated with only respect and concern.
My mom died in a hospice and we were fortunate that they were amazing in their care of my mom and us. They gave us brochures on what to expect as she reached the very end. And when she passed away they were kind and considerate of our needs.
Any less than that type of care for the loved ones and patient is unforgivable.
Some nurses give the profession a really bad name.

May 05, 2008  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

You know, it seems as though the nurses coming into the profession in the last 15 years or so have been lacking in compassion. Of course, not all of them, but far too many of them consider the patients a bother and they get annoyed when the call light goes on. It's shocking all right...especially to someone who knows how you should treat people.

Trust me though...I will be just as much of a bitch as that nurse was. It's not that I don't know how...I DO! But I usually choose not to. Today I choose to be a HUGE bitch!

OK...I'm cleaning Jean's closets out and I found the appraisals of the paintings that she left me. Luckily, she left me the ones that I liked and she left my father the ones he liked. There was one that my father liked that was worth a LOT of money but neither of us would sell them.

OK...back to closet cleaning! Some lucky Goodwill customer is about to get a bunch of Liz Claiborne stuff that is far too big for me.

:(

May 05, 2008  
Blogger ImNoBetterThanU said...

UNBELIEVABLE! MY condolences on the loss of Jean and for the way in which your father was treated. Reading about such an occurrence has me speechless. I hope everything can be much smoother throughout this transition time in your lives.

May 05, 2008  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Yes, it was quite stunning. But I wrote the letter and took a copy to the administrator of the hospital, the Director of Nursing, the nurse manager of the ICU Jean was in and the house supervisor. My father wanted to drop off a copy at her doctor's office so we'll do that today.

As a nurse myself, I am aware how derelict this nurse was in her duties. She has no business working in death and dying. Usually those nurses are much, much more compassionate as the comment by anonymous implies. I worked in hospice, cancer and with old people and I can't imagine any nurse I've ever worked with being this incompetent.

I actually copied and pasted this post and changed a few words and that's what I sent to the managers at the hospital.

I bet that gets someone to sieze an opportunity for some education/discipline.

:)

May 06, 2008  
Blogger Karin's Korner said...

Meg, that absolutely brings tears to my eyes, to think what your dad had to go through, they should be ashamed of theirselves!! I am so sorry for your loss as well as your fathers. Let us know what happens and hopefully we will be hearing that someone at least got an ass chewing although, she should be let go!!

May 06, 2008  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Oh yeah, someone should be spoken to. Usually in the nursing profession, when someone makes such a dreadful blunder, the manager uses it as an opportunity to educate the nurse. Unless, of course, this has been a problem in the past in which case she may very well be let go.

The sad thing is that she should absolutely be ashamed of herself but people rude enough to do these types of things usually don't have any shame at all.

Thanks for your thoughts...all of you. I'm showing these comments to my father so he knows that there are people out there thinking of him.

:)

May 06, 2008  

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