Good morning!!!
I'm tired and I want to go back to bed. But I have a date today and I have to be ready to do something fun. We were going to go out on the guy's boat, but it might rain today so we changed it to a Thai dinner and go-carting. He said that you have to have a driver's license to drive these go-carts. I don't think I've ever been go-carting so I'm not sure what he means when he says that these are the "big" ones. Whatever...it sounds like fun. And, I like Thai food.
See? This is why I like men. They do nice things like take you out and pay for everything. How could anyone dislike them? Of course, I'm not talking about lying men or wannabe's like my cyber stalker...I mean nice guys. There ARE some of them out there.
And if you find out that all they wanted was a piece of ass, you just say "No!" and go home. On a date situation, they have to pay before you have to tell them "No!" so it works out fine for me. If they end up being a really nice guy, then I can show my appreciation when and how it seems appropriate. But one way or another, I get to go out and have some fun. Cool beans.
You know how you want something but you don't want to do all the work that it takes to get what you want? That's the way I feel about men. I want one, but I don't want to have to shop for one. I just want a good one to knock on my door and say, "Honey...I'm home!!!!" Then I would say, "It's about time! What do you want for dinner?" Then, life would just go on from there.
This dating crap is too much work. And it never works out anyway. If I like them, they don't like me and if they like me, I don't like them.
I have a girlfriend who's ex is looking for a mail order bride. You know, American men shop for wives all over the world but there aren't any men from other places shopping for American women. Why do you suppose that is? It could be that American women are quite a handful or it could be that the women from other countries are trying to get to THIS country and we don't want to leave. But, if the right foreign dude came along, from a country with roads and electricity, I'd go to his place.
All men have stupid little habits that annoy me so that's where I'd have a tough time no matter where the guy came from. I dated a guy briefly but I couldn't stand it when he said, "Sweet!" to anything that he thought was a positive thing. I wouldn't mind it if he said it for really cool things like, "I won the lottery!"
Sweet!
But something like this...
"I finally found my wallet."
Sweet!
Or, "I bought myself a box of Popsicles"
Sweet!
...is just stupid.
That drove me nuts so I had to loose that one. He was a perfectly nice person and I really enjoyed his company. But if he was already driving me nuts with that constant "Sweet!", I can't imagine how insane he would make me after a year or so.
I learned my lesson when I married a man who said "Phildelthia". That was cute for a minute and a half...but after 20 years of it, it was just proof that I married a moron.
I haven't noticed any stupid stuff that this one does...yet. But I will be paying strict attention to his peccadilloes. I can live with some stupid stuff, after all, these are MEN we're talking about. But a blatant peccadillo that never stops could drive me to violence.
My ex ex used to stand with his hips pushed out forward, holding a blow dryer in his hand about a foot in front of his hips pointing the blow dryer up at his head. That was cool for about 8 months. After that it was just so damned STUPID that I knew I could never spend a lifetime with him unless he went bald.
Then there was the one who would always play the king of spades before the ace was played. He just didn't get it. If you play the king, it WILL get stepped on if the ace is still out there. I was so baffled by that stupidity that he had to go.
I had one who used his knife to push his peas on his fork. It's not like he only had 4 peas left, he ate ALL of the peas like that. If he would have just used a spoon, we might still be together.
Oh! There was one guy whose name was Bob. Whenever he ordered a drink, he would say, "I'll have a BOB! Bud Outova Bottle!" That was never cute.
So that's why I'm still single. Sooner or later they all drive me nuts. But, I can handle it long enough to go out for Thai and go-carting.
:):):)
I'm tired and I want to go back to bed. But I have a date today and I have to be ready to do something fun. We were going to go out on the guy's boat, but it might rain today so we changed it to a Thai dinner and go-carting. He said that you have to have a driver's license to drive these go-carts. I don't think I've ever been go-carting so I'm not sure what he means when he says that these are the "big" ones. Whatever...it sounds like fun. And, I like Thai food.
See? This is why I like men. They do nice things like take you out and pay for everything. How could anyone dislike them? Of course, I'm not talking about lying men or wannabe's like my cyber stalker...I mean nice guys. There ARE some of them out there.
And if you find out that all they wanted was a piece of ass, you just say "No!" and go home. On a date situation, they have to pay before you have to tell them "No!" so it works out fine for me. If they end up being a really nice guy, then I can show my appreciation when and how it seems appropriate. But one way or another, I get to go out and have some fun. Cool beans.
You know how you want something but you don't want to do all the work that it takes to get what you want? That's the way I feel about men. I want one, but I don't want to have to shop for one. I just want a good one to knock on my door and say, "Honey...I'm home!!!!" Then I would say, "It's about time! What do you want for dinner?" Then, life would just go on from there.
This dating crap is too much work. And it never works out anyway. If I like them, they don't like me and if they like me, I don't like them.
I have a girlfriend who's ex is looking for a mail order bride. You know, American men shop for wives all over the world but there aren't any men from other places shopping for American women. Why do you suppose that is? It could be that American women are quite a handful or it could be that the women from other countries are trying to get to THIS country and we don't want to leave. But, if the right foreign dude came along, from a country with roads and electricity, I'd go to his place.
All men have stupid little habits that annoy me so that's where I'd have a tough time no matter where the guy came from. I dated a guy briefly but I couldn't stand it when he said, "Sweet!" to anything that he thought was a positive thing. I wouldn't mind it if he said it for really cool things like, "I won the lottery!"
Sweet!
But something like this...
"I finally found my wallet."
Sweet!
Or, "I bought myself a box of Popsicles"
Sweet!
...is just stupid.
That drove me nuts so I had to loose that one. He was a perfectly nice person and I really enjoyed his company. But if he was already driving me nuts with that constant "Sweet!", I can't imagine how insane he would make me after a year or so.
I learned my lesson when I married a man who said "Phildelthia". That was cute for a minute and a half...but after 20 years of it, it was just proof that I married a moron.
I haven't noticed any stupid stuff that this one does...yet. But I will be paying strict attention to his peccadilloes. I can live with some stupid stuff, after all, these are MEN we're talking about. But a blatant peccadillo that never stops could drive me to violence.
My ex ex used to stand with his hips pushed out forward, holding a blow dryer in his hand about a foot in front of his hips pointing the blow dryer up at his head. That was cool for about 8 months. After that it was just so damned STUPID that I knew I could never spend a lifetime with him unless he went bald.
Then there was the one who would always play the king of spades before the ace was played. He just didn't get it. If you play the king, it WILL get stepped on if the ace is still out there. I was so baffled by that stupidity that he had to go.
I had one who used his knife to push his peas on his fork. It's not like he only had 4 peas left, he ate ALL of the peas like that. If he would have just used a spoon, we might still be together.
Oh! There was one guy whose name was Bob. Whenever he ordered a drink, he would say, "I'll have a BOB! Bud Outova Bottle!" That was never cute.
So that's why I'm still single. Sooner or later they all drive me nuts. But, I can handle it long enough to go out for Thai and go-carting.
:):):)
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:22 AM
4 Comments:
Good LORD above us! Where do you meet these guys? I almost fell on the floor I was laughing so hard. I am sure I do something stupid as well (I am a man...lol), but some of those things are just over-the-top!
Oh my...they're everywhere I look. If I took the time, I could find something stupid about every man that I've ever been with. But those are the ones that came to mind quickly.
:)
Sweet - that could be as annoying as cool beans - which reminds me of chocolate beans. Chocolate beans is one of the private little comedy routines that I preformed regularly for my now ex-wife. Let me explain.
We would sit watching TV while sharing a bowl of Hershey's chocolate morsels, you know, the chips in chocolate chip cookies. At some point I'd stuff a handful in my mouth and chew them up rather coarsely being sure to get a good amount all over my front teeth, upper and especially lower. I would then turn to my ex-wife and say in a loud, Forest Gump voice, "I like chocolate beans!" I would then start throwing them towards my mouth letting them land where they may, laugh maniacally and shout, "I like chocolate beans!" over and over. We both thought this was very funny... for a while.
I couldn't stop though, you see, I really do like chocolate beans.
LOLOLOL, have you ever googled that story to see if your wife has a secret blog?
:)
Post a Comment
<< Home