Although I won't count on it...
...until it happens, as it stands now, I'm supposed to leave for that judge show on the 22nd. I'll stay out there until the following Sunday.
The travel department called me yesterday to confirm everything, but they did that last time too. They even went so far as to Fed-Ex me all the hard copies of the stuff that I would need on Tuesday for a Wednesday morning flight and then they called me Tuesday evening to cancel. If I would have been out that night, I wouldn't have gotten the message and I would have gone ahead to the airport. I don't know how they get tickets in your name and then cancel them without you but somehow they do.
The chick who I spoke to yesterday said that there would be a car waiting for me. I jokingly asked, "Will he have a sign with my name on it?" She said that he would! So, for the first time in my life, I will have one of those dudes standing in the airport holding a card with my name on it. I think I'll wear a hat and BIG sunglasses just to make people wonder.
If I should be lucky enough to win this lawsuit (or even lucky enough to win part of it!), the first thing I'm going to do is catch up on some bills and then I'm going to go spend some time with my daughter.
My doctor finally got the x-rays from the ER and he wants me to go TODAY to get my blood drawn. When I initially developed my cancer, the ER doc is the one who figured it out after I had broken two bones in two months and then developed a kidney stone. The parathyroid gland regulates calcium and phosphorus levels in your blood and the tumors, while very small, put out a LOT of parathyroid hormone. I had so much calcium pulled out of my bones that they were breaking easily and so much in my blood that I developed a kidney stone. My doctor never figured it out so since I broke a bone, I bet he wants to be sure to be the one to notice that his patient has cancer before the ER doc ends up doing it again. So, he wants to check my calcium level again to see if the tumor is coming back...and I am less than a year from being considered "cured".
I'm not going to worry about that stuff now, it doesn't do any good. I worried like hell about Rick and my health in '04 and all it got me was a constant state of panic and this blog.
Anyway, now I have to figure out some way to pay for the blood work. I'm not using the money in my checking account, it's for bills and I just cannot afford the $200 they want for the blood draw. I don't know what the DEUCE I'm going to do.
This is the exact reason that I have Xanax. I have to take 3 a day now and I rarely take that many. There are just too many things for me to worry about today.
BUT....yesterday I went on a date with a guy who brought a wheelchair with him. I didn't use it, I just couldn't tell him no again after he offered to come pick me up with a wheelchair. We went out and talked for a while. It was pretty cool. He restores and collects old hot rods for a hobby.
He picked me up in his company car...a nice, sedate little Altima. Then, he told me about his 68 Camaro that he's taking to Ohio (I think he said Ohio) for some big car show. And then he mentioned his NEW Corvette and I said, "You have all of those cars and you picked me up in an Altima?!"
He laughed and said he was coming home from work and that he would never let that happen again.
I felt at ease talking to this guy so I said, "Are you one of those chauvinistic psycho's or do you let women drive your cars?" I love to phrase such questions as a challenge. :)
He said he didn't mind so long as he was in the car. So, with any luck at all, I should be driving one of those cars soon. I won't go nuts with them even though it'll be tempting, he has land behind his house that he uses to drive however he wants to drive. Must be nice.
Of all guys to have a date with after I fixed my own car with a coat hanger and some folded up newspaper! This guy just spent $3,500 for something on that Camaro that it didn't need, he just wanted it to have one. He told me what it was but I forgot.
He's 3 years older than I am but to me, he looks more like my grandfather. He even has a horseshoe diamond ring like my grandfather wore. I don't date too many men with nicer jewelry than my own.
When I told him that I was 50...he didn't believe me. He thought that I was younger. I get that a lot but people usually believe me when I tell them my age. After all, what kind of idiot would lie and say that they're 50 when they're actually YOUNGER than that? I wouldn't do that...not even for a senior's discount. (Damn, I got my AARP card and I was so disgusted that I threw it away without thinking. Someone told me that you DO get discounts with that sucker at 50. I thought you had to be older to get a senior's discount. I'll have call to the AARP people and tell them that I had temporary old people's dementia so they will send me another one.)
After the guy dropped me off, I started thinking about how I would handle dating someone so obviously old. If he really is 53, and I have no reason to doubt him...then he looks every day of it. But, he loves old cars like I do and he really IS the right age for me. Guys my own age rarely ask me out. I usually have MUCH younger men asking me out. I don't even bother with them except for having fun. I'll go out and play with them but I wouldn't ever get serious with one of them.
I don't really know why, if there's one thing that I've learned, it's that men don't just turn decent when they get older. So, I really have no reason to be so biased about age. If anything, older men are more awkward at being jerks because they don't look as cute as the younger guys when they do stupid shit. And they don't lose any of their confidence, just their hair. Funny how that one works. Hair falls out of their head, gets rewired and comes out the ears. Yet still they think that a woman will crumble like they did when the guy had hair where it belonged.
You know, I think the reason that I don't go out with much younger guys is that I worry about all the other women that will be after them. I wouldn't want to compete with any other women and the younger the guy, the more time he has to be tempted by wopigs. But now that I think about it, an older guy with money would probably have a VERY similar problem. Aw crap!
How do I deal with THAT? I never thought about other women when I was fantasizing about some rich dude who would come and solve all my problems. Oh man, this sucks! That makes it all much, much less fun. Oh well, I'll drive his cars and expect nothing but a good time.
Oh, he's a Type A personality and apparently rather obsessive about keeping himself busy. Hence the cars and the houseful of antiques he has because he loves to restore THEM as well. I don't know if I mentioned it or not but when I got a new oven, I had to remove the cabinet doors that go to the cabinets above the oven. Let me show you what I mean:
Although the working part of the oven fits but the top part is about an inch too tall. When I had the oven installed, I just had the guy take down the cabinet doors and figured that at worst, I could fix them myself. All they need is to be shortened a bit and then the hardware needs to be centered and that's it. I'd have to resurface it but that would just give me a reason to do the entire kitchen.
Anyway, I mentioned it to this guy and he said that he could fix them easily. I knew it was an easy job, I just didn't have the proper tools. He does so I'll let him do the manly thing and take care of my carpentry chore. I'll even make him dinner for doing it. I may be spoiled but I'm quite reasonable and I show my appreciation well. (And NO, I do NOT sleep with a guy for such a minor task. But, if I was ALREADY sleeping with him, I might put a bit of extra effort into it...remember this post...http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/11/this-post-is-rated-o-for-oh-martha.html ?)
I did go out of my way to kiss the guy. But that's only because he deserved it. He was a perfect gentleman and he treated me quite well. I have no clue where this one will lead but as always, I'm ever so curious to find out!
You know, it just occurred to me that this post is already pretty long so I'll let you go on to something else now. I have to write something else myself so I'll do that and then I'll be back to post it.
See ya!
...until it happens, as it stands now, I'm supposed to leave for that judge show on the 22nd. I'll stay out there until the following Sunday.
The travel department called me yesterday to confirm everything, but they did that last time too. They even went so far as to Fed-Ex me all the hard copies of the stuff that I would need on Tuesday for a Wednesday morning flight and then they called me Tuesday evening to cancel. If I would have been out that night, I wouldn't have gotten the message and I would have gone ahead to the airport. I don't know how they get tickets in your name and then cancel them without you but somehow they do.
The chick who I spoke to yesterday said that there would be a car waiting for me. I jokingly asked, "Will he have a sign with my name on it?" She said that he would! So, for the first time in my life, I will have one of those dudes standing in the airport holding a card with my name on it. I think I'll wear a hat and BIG sunglasses just to make people wonder.
If I should be lucky enough to win this lawsuit (or even lucky enough to win part of it!), the first thing I'm going to do is catch up on some bills and then I'm going to go spend some time with my daughter.
My doctor finally got the x-rays from the ER and he wants me to go TODAY to get my blood drawn. When I initially developed my cancer, the ER doc is the one who figured it out after I had broken two bones in two months and then developed a kidney stone. The parathyroid gland regulates calcium and phosphorus levels in your blood and the tumors, while very small, put out a LOT of parathyroid hormone. I had so much calcium pulled out of my bones that they were breaking easily and so much in my blood that I developed a kidney stone. My doctor never figured it out so since I broke a bone, I bet he wants to be sure to be the one to notice that his patient has cancer before the ER doc ends up doing it again. So, he wants to check my calcium level again to see if the tumor is coming back...and I am less than a year from being considered "cured".
I'm not going to worry about that stuff now, it doesn't do any good. I worried like hell about Rick and my health in '04 and all it got me was a constant state of panic and this blog.
Anyway, now I have to figure out some way to pay for the blood work. I'm not using the money in my checking account, it's for bills and I just cannot afford the $200 they want for the blood draw. I don't know what the DEUCE I'm going to do.
This is the exact reason that I have Xanax. I have to take 3 a day now and I rarely take that many. There are just too many things for me to worry about today.
BUT....yesterday I went on a date with a guy who brought a wheelchair with him. I didn't use it, I just couldn't tell him no again after he offered to come pick me up with a wheelchair. We went out and talked for a while. It was pretty cool. He restores and collects old hot rods for a hobby.
He picked me up in his company car...a nice, sedate little Altima. Then, he told me about his 68 Camaro that he's taking to Ohio (I think he said Ohio) for some big car show. And then he mentioned his NEW Corvette and I said, "You have all of those cars and you picked me up in an Altima?!"
He laughed and said he was coming home from work and that he would never let that happen again.
I felt at ease talking to this guy so I said, "Are you one of those chauvinistic psycho's or do you let women drive your cars?" I love to phrase such questions as a challenge. :)
He said he didn't mind so long as he was in the car. So, with any luck at all, I should be driving one of those cars soon. I won't go nuts with them even though it'll be tempting, he has land behind his house that he uses to drive however he wants to drive. Must be nice.
Of all guys to have a date with after I fixed my own car with a coat hanger and some folded up newspaper! This guy just spent $3,500 for something on that Camaro that it didn't need, he just wanted it to have one. He told me what it was but I forgot.
He's 3 years older than I am but to me, he looks more like my grandfather. He even has a horseshoe diamond ring like my grandfather wore. I don't date too many men with nicer jewelry than my own.
When I told him that I was 50...he didn't believe me. He thought that I was younger. I get that a lot but people usually believe me when I tell them my age. After all, what kind of idiot would lie and say that they're 50 when they're actually YOUNGER than that? I wouldn't do that...not even for a senior's discount. (Damn, I got my AARP card and I was so disgusted that I threw it away without thinking. Someone told me that you DO get discounts with that sucker at 50. I thought you had to be older to get a senior's discount. I'll have call to the AARP people and tell them that I had temporary old people's dementia so they will send me another one.)
After the guy dropped me off, I started thinking about how I would handle dating someone so obviously old. If he really is 53, and I have no reason to doubt him...then he looks every day of it. But, he loves old cars like I do and he really IS the right age for me. Guys my own age rarely ask me out. I usually have MUCH younger men asking me out. I don't even bother with them except for having fun. I'll go out and play with them but I wouldn't ever get serious with one of them.
I don't really know why, if there's one thing that I've learned, it's that men don't just turn decent when they get older. So, I really have no reason to be so biased about age. If anything, older men are more awkward at being jerks because they don't look as cute as the younger guys when they do stupid shit. And they don't lose any of their confidence, just their hair. Funny how that one works. Hair falls out of their head, gets rewired and comes out the ears. Yet still they think that a woman will crumble like they did when the guy had hair where it belonged.
You know, I think the reason that I don't go out with much younger guys is that I worry about all the other women that will be after them. I wouldn't want to compete with any other women and the younger the guy, the more time he has to be tempted by wopigs. But now that I think about it, an older guy with money would probably have a VERY similar problem. Aw crap!
How do I deal with THAT? I never thought about other women when I was fantasizing about some rich dude who would come and solve all my problems. Oh man, this sucks! That makes it all much, much less fun. Oh well, I'll drive his cars and expect nothing but a good time.
Oh, he's a Type A personality and apparently rather obsessive about keeping himself busy. Hence the cars and the houseful of antiques he has because he loves to restore THEM as well. I don't know if I mentioned it or not but when I got a new oven, I had to remove the cabinet doors that go to the cabinets above the oven. Let me show you what I mean:
Although the working part of the oven fits but the top part is about an inch too tall. When I had the oven installed, I just had the guy take down the cabinet doors and figured that at worst, I could fix them myself. All they need is to be shortened a bit and then the hardware needs to be centered and that's it. I'd have to resurface it but that would just give me a reason to do the entire kitchen.
Anyway, I mentioned it to this guy and he said that he could fix them easily. I knew it was an easy job, I just didn't have the proper tools. He does so I'll let him do the manly thing and take care of my carpentry chore. I'll even make him dinner for doing it. I may be spoiled but I'm quite reasonable and I show my appreciation well. (And NO, I do NOT sleep with a guy for such a minor task. But, if I was ALREADY sleeping with him, I might put a bit of extra effort into it...remember this post...http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/11/this-post-is-rated-o-for-oh-martha.html ?)
I did go out of my way to kiss the guy. But that's only because he deserved it. He was a perfect gentleman and he treated me quite well. I have no clue where this one will lead but as always, I'm ever so curious to find out!
You know, it just occurred to me that this post is already pretty long so I'll let you go on to something else now. I have to write something else myself so I'll do that and then I'll be back to post it.
See ya!
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:15 AM
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