You know those people...
...who think they know everything, have an answer for every fricking question and they have a better way to do things because they know more than anyone else? I have one of those around here and it's beginning to drive me nuts.
One day I came online and my toolbar was gone. I know that you can hide it and use it when you move the mouse over it...but I want my damned toolbar. I asked the person not to change any settings when he used my computer and I consider that a setting. When I said, "By the way, don't hide my toolbar anymore." He went into a long tutorial about how to use the amazing disappearing toolbar. I let him go on for about 5 minutes and then I said, "Please don't hide my toolbar anymore." So then he started his pitch again. I looked at his girlfriend and she got it, but he just kept on talking. I let him do it. Then, I looked at him and said, "Please don't hide my toolbar anymore."
It took his girlfriend dragging him away to get him to shut up.
I asked them both not to use the sink in the bathroom until I could put some Drain-O down the drain. Then I went to buy the Drain-O. When I got back, the sink was backed up again because, "All you have to do is take these pipes out and see what the blockage is. If you have a monkey wrench, I can fix it."
Well, there was a plumber here earlier this year who did over 5 grand worth of work and he fixed everything but that slow draining sink. He came back 4 times to fix that sink. He snaked it, put acid down it and they replaced the pipes. The only thing that I can do is pour some Drain-O down there once a month or so. And, I don't have a monkey wrench. I was not in the mood to explain all of this so I said, "Trust me, I've lived here for years. I know this sink. It is an asshole. And, I don't have a monkey wrench so let's just do it my way. When I say don't use the sink, please...just don't use the sink."
"Oh! I didn't know you didn't have a monkey wrench when I used the sink!"
If I'm not wrong, his using the sink was now my fault because I didn't have a monkey wrench.
Some of you might remember that hundred dollar trash can that my father bought me. It has a plastic liner that I pull out to change bags. On the bottom of that thing is a Glade air freshener thingie. It doesn't ever get dirty because I don't use it without bags. I told him not to use the trash can because I ran out of garbage cans. When I brought them home from the store, the plastic liner was full of trash so I had to wash it out before I could use it. I HATE touching trash, especially if it isn't my trash. But I had to touch it to get it out and wash the liner. Then, I had to wash my air freshener thingie.
When I mentioned it, he said, "I saw that it had a liner. You don't even NEED trash bags."
The worst part of this all is that he is armed, I am not. He's such a nice guy but he hasn't quite learned how to say, "OK, sure thing." and mean it. He spends a lot of time over here and I really don't mind. But, I don't want to change anything. I resist change. After all, I'm a member of AARP now.
It never stops. I was outside pulling weeds with a steak knife when he came out and told me all about the proper tools for the job. Then he asked me to drive him to Home Depot to buy the right tools. If I had the money to buy tools, I would buy them. I know all about the existence of Home Depot. He wasted a half an hour trying to describe the proper tools. He even told me that I could rent a tiller, till up the entire yard and that way I could straighten it out where it goes uphill.
I was minding my own business, sitting in my grass, following clover to the roots and cutting it out with my trusty steak knife. He had me flattening the yard by myself at the wheel of a rented tractor. Greeeeeen acres is the place for me...time wasting is a bitch to me. I gave up and went back in the house.
I can't turn my TV on with my remote because however he turns off my TV, he does it so that the ALL button does too many wrong things. So, I have to stand there and turn things off and on like a door with every other lock locked.
You know, my cyber stalker dude isn't as much of a hassle than is this yahoo. The insane guy is only online. When I'm living my life I don't even think of him. But...this guy is all around.
This morning when I signed on, he was gone but his antics lingered on. It was 7:30 when I first came to the computer. My sister called me for a ride but that only took 20 minutes. It's now 9:43 and this post is all that I have accomplished since 7:30 because I spent so much time trying to undo whatever he did.
Writing this post has gotten the irritation out of me but I fear that only means that he will be coming back soon. I think I'm going to start sticking stick-it notes all over my house and they will all say the same thing...DO NOT TOUCH THIS.
...who think they know everything, have an answer for every fricking question and they have a better way to do things because they know more than anyone else? I have one of those around here and it's beginning to drive me nuts.
One day I came online and my toolbar was gone. I know that you can hide it and use it when you move the mouse over it...but I want my damned toolbar. I asked the person not to change any settings when he used my computer and I consider that a setting. When I said, "By the way, don't hide my toolbar anymore." He went into a long tutorial about how to use the amazing disappearing toolbar. I let him go on for about 5 minutes and then I said, "Please don't hide my toolbar anymore." So then he started his pitch again. I looked at his girlfriend and she got it, but he just kept on talking. I let him do it. Then, I looked at him and said, "Please don't hide my toolbar anymore."
It took his girlfriend dragging him away to get him to shut up.
I asked them both not to use the sink in the bathroom until I could put some Drain-O down the drain. Then I went to buy the Drain-O. When I got back, the sink was backed up again because, "All you have to do is take these pipes out and see what the blockage is. If you have a monkey wrench, I can fix it."
Well, there was a plumber here earlier this year who did over 5 grand worth of work and he fixed everything but that slow draining sink. He came back 4 times to fix that sink. He snaked it, put acid down it and they replaced the pipes. The only thing that I can do is pour some Drain-O down there once a month or so. And, I don't have a monkey wrench. I was not in the mood to explain all of this so I said, "Trust me, I've lived here for years. I know this sink. It is an asshole. And, I don't have a monkey wrench so let's just do it my way. When I say don't use the sink, please...just don't use the sink."
"Oh! I didn't know you didn't have a monkey wrench when I used the sink!"
If I'm not wrong, his using the sink was now my fault because I didn't have a monkey wrench.
Some of you might remember that hundred dollar trash can that my father bought me. It has a plastic liner that I pull out to change bags. On the bottom of that thing is a Glade air freshener thingie. It doesn't ever get dirty because I don't use it without bags. I told him not to use the trash can because I ran out of garbage cans. When I brought them home from the store, the plastic liner was full of trash so I had to wash it out before I could use it. I HATE touching trash, especially if it isn't my trash. But I had to touch it to get it out and wash the liner. Then, I had to wash my air freshener thingie.
When I mentioned it, he said, "I saw that it had a liner. You don't even NEED trash bags."
The worst part of this all is that he is armed, I am not. He's such a nice guy but he hasn't quite learned how to say, "OK, sure thing." and mean it. He spends a lot of time over here and I really don't mind. But, I don't want to change anything. I resist change. After all, I'm a member of AARP now.
It never stops. I was outside pulling weeds with a steak knife when he came out and told me all about the proper tools for the job. Then he asked me to drive him to Home Depot to buy the right tools. If I had the money to buy tools, I would buy them. I know all about the existence of Home Depot. He wasted a half an hour trying to describe the proper tools. He even told me that I could rent a tiller, till up the entire yard and that way I could straighten it out where it goes uphill.
I was minding my own business, sitting in my grass, following clover to the roots and cutting it out with my trusty steak knife. He had me flattening the yard by myself at the wheel of a rented tractor. Greeeeeen acres is the place for me...time wasting is a bitch to me. I gave up and went back in the house.
I can't turn my TV on with my remote because however he turns off my TV, he does it so that the ALL button does too many wrong things. So, I have to stand there and turn things off and on like a door with every other lock locked.
You know, my cyber stalker dude isn't as much of a hassle than is this yahoo. The insane guy is only online. When I'm living my life I don't even think of him. But...this guy is all around.
This morning when I signed on, he was gone but his antics lingered on. It was 7:30 when I first came to the computer. My sister called me for a ride but that only took 20 minutes. It's now 9:43 and this post is all that I have accomplished since 7:30 because I spent so much time trying to undo whatever he did.
Writing this post has gotten the irritation out of me but I fear that only means that he will be coming back soon. I think I'm going to start sticking stick-it notes all over my house and they will all say the same thing...DO NOT TOUCH THIS.
posted by Meg Kelso | 6:13 AM
3 Comments:
That's exactly why I refuse to get a roomate.
My brothers. My brother in law. They know it all and have done it all. No one can ever be right but them. But, I feel better after reading this that I rarely have to see them : )
Tracie
Sol, The roommate is fine. her boyfriend is a doll but he is far too advanced for me to hang out around.
Tracie, OMG! Family! I won't know this guy forever so I have hope for the future.
):)
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