I probably won't change...

...the name of this blog to Pubes in the New Millennium, but someone else made a pubic point that I thought needed addressing. Here it is:

"...i went bald once, not worth it and my hubby does not seem to care one way or another..."

See....that's what I'm saying. I was married long enough to shave that sucker and not once did my ex say, "Why darling, what a nice smooth and tasty biscuit you have!"

I remember the night I surprised him with my new Michael Jordon pussy doo. I had taken ever so much time, ever so gently shaving my poontang. I even got those suckers that are right in the middle, really, really close to Happy Town.

By the end of that shaving session, I was sitting in a tepid tub of my own filth, surrounded by hairy scum all along the the water line. I did the shaving triple play that day, pits, pegs and pubes. Talk about yuck. I had to take a shower just to clean myself from the bath.

And you know, as weird as a man's package looks, you take the hair off of a woman's package receptor and it's not really a pretty sight itself. You don't have to be old at ALL to have the slightest sagging or wrinkling down there. We'd end up with our legs spread open to make our coochies look better in the same way that we lie flat on our backs to make our bellies look flatter. (Unless of course that puts our boobs in our pits. Then I suppose we'd just have to grab a sheet, turn off the light and hope for the best.)

And even then, lights or no lights, there's always a place or two that we really don't want them to wander over because there's nothing we can do to firm that area up. There isn't a position that helps and you can contract every muscle in that area and it will still feel like overcooked spaghetti. Jeez, how do any of us ever get close to the sack? Of course married sex is totally different than, "Oh, my date got good tickets to the theater!" sex. Keep that in mind.

Does this sound familiar...start on back then roll to push bellies and chests together with leg over dude? After that we sort of lose control and improvise our way through the rest of it. Whatever. Sooner or later I end up just where I want to be with a guy right where I need him for just long enough. Then I say, "OK, get up here!" and he comes back up.

Anyway, I did shave it for my ex who, after one initial smile never made mention of it again. That's not a good thing. Of course he was boinking every redneck whore that would hold still for him so God knows what he had been around. I get the shivering willies just thinking about all the places that fool visited. I can only HOPE they shaved themselves, as a hygiene practice, not as a sensual type of thing.

I work and work and then all of my efforts are for a 5 minute self gratification thing. At least when they eat Thanksgiving dinner in 5 minutes after you slave all day they say, "Good meal, hon." But after the lovin', nothin'...not even one, "Thanks, that bald pussy really made all the difference in our usual 5 minutes of sex."

OK, that's it. I'm leaving my pussy hair right where it is. I'll continue to trim any errant hairs that don't seem to want to follow the program but there is no guy out there worth the itchy pussy shadow that drives you insane.

That's IT!