Pretty please?

I'm bored and now I want to have fun...

...because I know what those people are all doing on the lake. They can't be the only people having fun so I have to go find some more of them. If anybody is having a bunch of fun, let me know and I'll help.

I'd really like to do something crazy so if you have a parachute and a plane, let me know and I'll jump out of it with you. I can't think of much that I'd be too afraid to do because I feel like I died at least twice already and I keep coming back. I don't know why but I do know that I have a couple freebies. So, even if my chute streamered and I landed in a corn field face first, I'm still up at least one.

Ooh, maybe a race car? Does anyone out there have one of them? I'll drive it with the petal to the metal and a big smile on my face.

To other ordinary people...did you realize all the fun these people are having? I get excited when I go to Home Depot and there are people sailing around the world on beautiful boats. It's not fair.

I might listen to Obama if he found a way to socialize having fun. I'd like to be the Secretary of Weekends. But since he's too busy with health care, I'll just sit here and see what I can do from a place I can almost afford to go...my dining room.

I suppose that most of you don't have a boat or you wouldn't be reading this right now. But sooner or later, someone with a boat should read this and come and get me. You know, it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you were in Europe so don't feel bad if you aren't near Atlanta.

I wonder what other fun stuff people are doing out there? I've decided that I want to be rich and play with very expensive toys. I just haven't figured out exactly how to do that yet. I will, don't worry. In the meantime I'll be happy to play with other people's toys. Then, when I get my own, I'll pay it forward and take some other poor schmuck out to have some wild and crazy fun. I promise...just hurry up and get me because I really need to have some fun right now. Don't think about it too much, just come and get me.

I can be a lot of fun to have around, especially if you make exotic rum drinks. I read that some "cowboy" won the lottery big time but it didn't say whether or not he was married. I could handle a cowboy. Not a married one because the kind of women who marry cowboys are like Roller Derby Queens and they frighten me...but just a regular old single cowboy dude...I'd play with him for a while.

As I learned earlier in life, cowboys are just rednecks from the north and as much fun as a redneck can be, after you sober up there's not much to discuss. They aren't quiet and mysterious, they're just stupid and can't think of a damn thing to say. But...disposable income can make the reddest necked cowboy tolerable. That and a lot of beer.

A lot of beer is what made me marry a moron. My bad. If you don't want to drink for the rest of your life, you shouldn't marry someone who is most attractive to you when you're drunk. I'll NEVER do that again.

OK...it's two minutes to noon so I should get this post out there so that the fun people can find it and let me know where they are.

:)