Just when I think...

...that I have men figured out, they go and do something that leaves me shaking my head...seriously. Remember the yahoo who assaulted me and may very well get away with it because he has a flat chest and I don't? He started emailing me recently.

I wanted to mention it here but I thought I'd just let it go, kind of like what I'm doing with the local cops after this sentence. But he keeps emailing me over and over again. I have his rationale figured out, I know what he's trying to accomplish. What I don't understand is why he would think that I'm that stupid? (There's that underestimation thing going on again.)

It seems to me that he is trying to get me to invite him over by email so that he can use it as a defense in court when he answers for a charge of domestic violence. (No, I DON'T know why he's charged with that.) When I started hearing from him, I had a few options. I could have either A. Ignored him or B. Given in and given him what he wanted because I'm just a silly little female who must have that particular man (see how ego fucks you up?) OR...and this is the one I liked, C. I could just answer with evidence AGAINST him. :):):)

No, I'm not afraid of him when I'm in my house with my dog and my other defenses, I certainly have the advantage behind my own doors. I KNOW I'm not afraid of emails so what the hell, I went for it. These are the recent exchanges that I've had with the yahoo who caused me so much physical distress:

HIM: Hi. I've got a shirt of yours, want it back?

ME: Not enough to risk another broken rib. BTW...how the hell did you get a shirt of mine?

HIM: You wore a tshirt of mine home that last night

ME: Why would I have done that? Did you take off my clothes?

HIM: If you want it back I'll drop it off on your porch, if not - I'm not going to sit around and re-hash a night you don't remember because you apparently had too much to drink

ME: GHB would make me forget, not a couple glasses of wine. (This is when a I attached a few pictures of my injuries from that visit.)

ME AGAIN: Would you like to see the rest of the pictures?

After that I didn't hear from him for a while. Today, I opened this email from Bruiser:

HIM: Hi, I realize this may be entirely stupid, but would you like me to look at your a/c? Consider it a peace offering. You can stay inside, I'd call when I get there & have u turn t-stat on. I'll call before I go and tell you what I think it is and how major

What a white guy!!!

Now...I suppose it's possible that I'm underestimating this guy and his love for me. Maybe he doesn't want a defense, maybe he just wants a second chance to smack the hell out of me, after which we can rekindle our friendship and raise it to a level where he won't need GHB to get in my pants.

So...the way I see it, he either thinks I'm an idiot and that I'd help him get me in a "GOTCHA!" moment while I'm under oath or he thinks that I'm from Bumfuck Alabama and that I'd go near a man who would ever, just for a fleeting moment, think that I would allow him to touch me in such an uninvited and painful manner. And, as I remember, the assault took a LOT of fleeting moments.

I would imagine that some of you who have never met me would know better than to think me stupid enough to go forward in ANY way, with ANY further emails, phone calls or unlocked doors, with ANY person, male, female or hermaphrodite who makes me say "Ouch." The second "Ouch." is on me and I don't like being responsible for my own bullshit any more than is absolutely necessary.