Will you be my friend if I promise not to punch you?
"...No games, and please be SINGLE! ....No One Under 40, or 'sort of unattached'. Please Send a picture, and place your height in the subject line tired of spammers! Thought I would throw this in - I need a piece of plywood, approximately 5' X 4' (for my deck) Can you help?"
Now THAT'S a chick I could be friends with! Not because of the kind of guys she likes...my taste is much more varied. But any woman who posts an ad for a guy and throws in a request for plywood has GOT to be fun to hang out with and I'm SURE she'll get her wood soon.
Requesting building supplies is as sweet as requesting men with lawnmowers and that always works for me although this week I mowed my own lawn because, for some odd reason, my lawnmower started. When it did, I decided to get the grass mowed myself. The day I mowed the grass, I decided that I didn't need to work out since I was going to be doing lawn work. Then, my neighbor came to the fence to chat and I ended up borrowing her lopper thingie to cut down the crap that I couldn't get with the mower and after a day and a half of bending over to lop crap off, I have officially put my back out. Now I won't be working out for a LONG time. I haven't decided whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well, I'm sure that my Sensei will come up with something for me to do.
The other day I realized that my lessons have been paying off...but it was an accident. I've always been one to throw fake punches at people much larger than myself. I did it again the other day and I actually hurt a dude. I never meant to hurt anyone, I didn't even know that I COULD hurt anyone. But, after tossing a playful punch at an unexpecting chest, I realized that I'm stronger than I thought I was. Much to my surprise, the guy grabbed himself and fell backwards. I felt like Ralph Machio when he realized that "Wax on, wax off!" had paid off. I stared at my little fist with the glee of a baby who just realized the connection between his brain and his fingers. Of course, I felt a bit guilty...but that didn't last long.
So, now that I know I can deck a dude, I'll be much more careful when throwing fists and much less afraid of large men. I wish my ex would try to come after me now...I bet I could, at the very least, leave a mark. I'd like to leave one bruise before I croak...scratch marks are so passé.
On second thought, any chick who can defend herself can also mow her own lawn so maybe I should just pretend to be as weak and helpless as I was when I was UNDER 50.
Now THAT'S a chick I could be friends with! Not because of the kind of guys she likes...my taste is much more varied. But any woman who posts an ad for a guy and throws in a request for plywood has GOT to be fun to hang out with and I'm SURE she'll get her wood soon.
Requesting building supplies is as sweet as requesting men with lawnmowers and that always works for me although this week I mowed my own lawn because, for some odd reason, my lawnmower started. When it did, I decided to get the grass mowed myself. The day I mowed the grass, I decided that I didn't need to work out since I was going to be doing lawn work. Then, my neighbor came to the fence to chat and I ended up borrowing her lopper thingie to cut down the crap that I couldn't get with the mower and after a day and a half of bending over to lop crap off, I have officially put my back out. Now I won't be working out for a LONG time. I haven't decided whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well, I'm sure that my Sensei will come up with something for me to do.
The other day I realized that my lessons have been paying off...but it was an accident. I've always been one to throw fake punches at people much larger than myself. I did it again the other day and I actually hurt a dude. I never meant to hurt anyone, I didn't even know that I COULD hurt anyone. But, after tossing a playful punch at an unexpecting chest, I realized that I'm stronger than I thought I was. Much to my surprise, the guy grabbed himself and fell backwards. I felt like Ralph Machio when he realized that "Wax on, wax off!" had paid off. I stared at my little fist with the glee of a baby who just realized the connection between his brain and his fingers. Of course, I felt a bit guilty...but that didn't last long.
So, now that I know I can deck a dude, I'll be much more careful when throwing fists and much less afraid of large men. I wish my ex would try to come after me now...I bet I could, at the very least, leave a mark. I'd like to leave one bruise before I croak...scratch marks are so passé.
On second thought, any chick who can defend herself can also mow her own lawn so maybe I should just pretend to be as weak and helpless as I was when I was UNDER 50.
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:32 AM
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