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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Damn these dreams!

I've been having the same recurring dream ever since my ex did me the tremendous favor of leaving. The plots are always a tad different but the theme is always the same...I am trying desperately to get the truth out of the bastard.

Last night's dream found me, for some reason, babysitting 5 infants and a bunch of older kids after hubby went to work. At one point I was walking through the streets of some Montana town wearing nothing but a t-shirt. I ran into a nice lady who looked at my backside and told me that I needed a shower. One thing's for sure, if my ex is in the picture...SOMEONE has a filthy ass. I was rather dismayed that it was me this time.

The dreams are disturbing for a number of reasons, mainly because they have been happening EVERY night since he left and I STILL find myself trying to get the truth out of him instead of Bobbitizing his crooked manhood.

I can go all day without giving him a second thought, or a first thought for that matter, and yet at night, these frustrating dreams will return.

Alas, dreams do NOT seem to be influenced by the granting of a divorce. I'd rather dream that I was being chased by an angry ostrich but I'm never that lucky. The truly frightening ex pops up in my dreams every night.

If I were able, I would sue the pants off of the "Dream Master's", but they don't seem to have cash, just a bunch of evil little dream seeds that have firmly taken plant in my own personal dreamscape. Ain't that a bitch?

If there's one minor salvation, my other ex and his insane wife are never in my dreams. Of course, they do bug the hell out of me in real life. Currently, they're harassing my daughter for allowing me to come stay with her in California. They should really shut the hell up because my only other option is Chicago and if I had to go there, I would be sure to move close enough to them to make them wish they had left me alone me years ago.

You know, that's a thought, isn't it? I love Chi-Town and I have friends and family there. And, the only thing that I'd enjoy more than annoying my most recent ex would be annoying my insane ex AND his nutty wife.

Of course, if they wanted to, they could give me 10 grand and I would use that to move to Ireland. Barring that, I'm working on getting closer to my daughter.

In the meantime, I'll continue emptying my house of all my belongings. I'm a rotten haggler, I keep taking less than I want because when I ask for what I want, people make a smaller offer. One such guy was wheeling and dealing over my personal belongings and he had gotten some hellacious bargains. He asked me what I wanted for my dryer and I said, "I'm not sure how to answer that. I could be honest and tell you what I want and then you'd offer me less. Or, I could add 25 bucks to my price and get 5 bucks more than I want."

He responded, "How much DO you want?" I told him..."Fifty bucks." He said, "Forty." I finally said OK and he asked if he could look in my shed. Then he wanted do know what I wanted for my lawnmower and once he got me down to ten bucks, he asked if I could "do better". I said, "Yeah, selling it door to door...I could get 50 people to give me ten bucks."

He relented and paid ten bucks for a perfectly good lawn mower. Damn I'm good.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Josh said...

Why would you sell your dryer?
Are you going to hang them to dry
now?

September 15, 2009  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Nope. I couldn't carry that sucker with me...could I?

September 15, 2009  

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