Hi there from Sunny California!!!

I've been taking notes all the way from Chi-Town to So-Cal so I have more than enough material to keep you guys snickering for a long, long, long time. You know me, everything that happens turns out funny before I'm finished with it.

For instance...Tuesday night in Omaha Nebraska, some lunatic with a chip on his shoulder and a serious attitude problem got on the bus. I got on after him so I didn't see what started him off but he was talking about how some "Caucasian looking fool" started telling him to "watch his language". Well, that didn't help matters one little bit. He not only didn't stop being a jack ass, he began doing his jack ass-itiness in rap.

I'm a big black man with and attitude problem
No Caucasian gonna get me even if he has a gun
Don't tell me that a Caucasian female can't be hit
I'll hit her once and then hit her twice
Bitch tell me she gonna be nice
Ain't no nice in me, I'm as cold as ice
White bitch gonna shiver when I kill her twice

I didn't understand a bit of that but to make a long story short, the dude clocked me in the head with a suitcase. So...I am BACK in the hospital because I can't turn my neck. This is getting interesting!

Why was there and angry black man on the bus? I don't know. I had left the bus to "hit the head" and when I got back, there was the Evil Rapper on the bus behind me. He was going on and on about his threats and I finally decided to go let the driver know that there was gonna be trouble if they left the dude on the bus. So, the driver came on the bus and shouted, "What did I tell you? I told you to act like a gentlemen!" I don't know why a bus driver would tell a drunk to act like a gentlemen...even if he heard him, he would have forgotten within 2 minutes. Anyway, not only did they kick him off the bus, they sent him back on the buy to get his stuff after the dude knew that I was the one who ratted him out. AND...they sent him back on the bus without security to protect the women, children and skinny white men who were already on the bus.

That meant that he was gonna start harassing me and he really, really did!

He didn't like that I was smiling at him and I don't think I was...not that it mattered...we Americans are allowed to smiled. So, Rapper Dude started rapping a rap all for me and let me tell you...it was not at all a pleasant Will Smith type rap. Nope, he was mean that time.

Then I heard him say, "Watch this!"

Call me kookie...but I didn't want to 'watch' anything that dude was gonna do. So, I just sat there and stared straight ahead until I felt the pain. I now know it was a suitcase bouncing off of my head and landing on the floor.

I quickly considered my options, elbow him in the gut, fingernail him in the eyeball, knee him in the groin or punch him in the face. Then it occurred to me, he was drunk and that made him a weak target and in Tae Kwon Do, we're taught not to take advantage of the weakling. I wanted to, but I decided instead to walk off the bus and let the driver handle it. Oh, Opie the security guard was there to hold his gun...I guess it was to make him look cool, lord knows he didn't pull it out.

Anyway, at first I just wanted to get away from that situation because of all the people who were supposed to be protecting me, none of them did. So, I jumped off the bus and let them get the bum off of the bus. Then, once I got back on the bus, within an hour, my face went numb and my neck wouldn't move either way. When we got to Ogalloolloola (or something like that) Nebraska, the bus driver called an ambulance. They took me to a hospital in Greeley Co. and i stayed there for a couple of days.

My neck still won't move but I have a new story to tell! I'll tell you more when my pain meds kick in. BTW...I should mention that I am currently in Cedar's Sinai Hospital because the pain has gotten unbearable. I'm still waiting for the fun to kick in!