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Monday, September 06, 2010

Back to California...

...if only in my blog. I was wondering what to write about today and when I could come up with nothing, it occurred to me that I had taken copious notes during my trip out west. I decided to look at them and when I did, I read the notes about Thor.

Some of you might remember Thor, he's the guy I dated when I was living in LA. I enjoyed his company and he was forever in an annoyingly good mood. Funny how I never even questioned that stupid, ever present grin before.

I was going to stay with Thor while I was in LA, he knew I was coming and if it weren't for his offer, I never would have gone out there. The night I got in, he was waiting for me and my sore neck at the Greyhound station and he was as happy as ever. It seemed as though he hadn't changed clothes since I left...he was wearing the same ugly blue t-shirt over a torn black t-shirt that I saw far too many times earlier in the year. I always felt like asking, "Can we see some more of your clothes now?"

Anyway, car-less dude that he is, we took yet another bus, actually 3 of them, back to the no-tell motel that he planned on spending the weekend at for some odd reason. (Did you ever notice that if there IS a pornographic channel on a motel TV, it WILL be tuned to that channel when you turn the TV on? I actually looked longer than I usually do, not because I'm into porn, but because I noticed something rather odd. The woman in the "movie" had her pubes all shaved and in place of them, she had a bush sized tattoo. I had to look to be sure of what I saw...I was right, she had replaced her innocuous pubic hair with a hideous paisley tat that only a porno skank could pull off.)

Anyway, we went to bed and quickly fell asleep, Lord knows I didn't want to fool around and obviously, neither did he. That should have been my first clue. Instead of having sex, I just looked at myself in the ceiling mirror and fell quickly and at last, into a deep sleep. We woke up early in the morning and chatted for a while before he had to go to work. I didn't mind at all, I used the day to go to Hollywood and wander aimlessly up and down Hollywood Blvd. I'm glad I did that, I never did get back there during my trip.

I was back at the motel well before Thor's anticipated arrival time of 6:15. I decided to take a nap and when he came back, I woke up briefly but just enough to notice him in the room, then I went back to sleep. I must have really needed it because I ended up sleeping all the way into the wee morning hours. It was still dark outside and Thor was gone, hint number...3 maybe? I watched a movie and then got dressed and left the room.

Upon leaving the room, I saw Thor at the bus stop outside of the motel which is also next to his place. I asked what happened to him and he gave me some lame excuse but we were to spend the morning together before he had to go BACK to work. Then, he would come back and spend the evening with me.

Something in me felt not quite right about that and I asked him, "Do you really want to go to breakfast with me?" The hints were finally sinking in. "No." he responded.

I had to know what was going on...so I asked him if he was really coming back later. He assured me that he was, indeed, coming back later. Perhaps I had mis-phrased that question. I posited it again. Do you WANT to come back later?"

He hesitated so I could have walked away right then but I'm not quite that nice. I'm sick of spineless men. I wanted to hear it from him. "Man up and tell me the truth."

"Man up? No, I don't."

So, I walked away, never to see him again. I don't know why he asked me out there just to leave me stranded, but it didn't really matter, he did it. So, down La Brea Street I walked until I got to the 99 cent store where I bought myself some seriously needed deodorant before my lovely shower wore off.

Why do men have such a hard time being honest? Thor didn't lie, but his lack of honesty was as destructive as if he had. My ex simply lied no matter how many laws of physics the lie broke. I really don't think Thor ever lied to me, but I learned something important...never trust an ever present smile. Normal people have occasional grimaces.


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