I'd love to scream...
...one of those primal screams that will purge you of all negativity but I can't seem to convince me that it would work. It occurs to me that someone would hear me and call the cops and then they would come right over and find the stems that are all that's left of my California medicinal weed. I would do time for possession of stems and that's almost as stupid as doing time for jaywalking. I guess I should get rid of those now that I've mentioned them to the world.
I woke up this morning like I usually do, worrying for no good reason so my mind looked around until it found a good reason to justify the worrying. I know that's disjointed but at least I'm aware of it so maybe now I'll just try to stop doing that. I redirected my thoughts to my sore neck from the Greyhound Suitcase Caper and it occurred to me that I may have been a little rough on Mr. Patterson...the first driver on the bus who took us from Chi-town to Omaha where I was assaulted by a huge, drunken, bi-polar freak who is probably stalking me now because I spoke to the police after I spoke to the driver. I don't think Mr. Patterson would have let the drunken dude on the bus...he was much too much of an ex Marine, Nazi or old nun for that crap.
At the beginning of our trip, he announced with glee that the federal government had "FINALLY" passed a law making it a crime to remove one's shoes or socks on a bus. I was afraid to ask what the law was about people who wore only shoes and no socks...another thing I don't want to get locked up over.
So, this is my official apology to Colonel Klink...er, Mr. Patterson. Dude, I wished you had stayed, at least, until the bus left Omaha. Oh well, it is what it is and it was what it was.
Opie the security guard was useless, he should have accompanied the suitcase creep back on the bus to retrieve his belongings after they kicked him off. He did share stories with us while we were waiting in Omaha (before the suitcase to the head). He told us about a bar that was still open "over the river" and then added, "But it's a gay bar." I wouldn't have gone anyway but it was interesting to hear the story of the mechanical bull that's shaped like a penis. Somewhere in Omaha Nebraska, some brokeback cowboy is riding that penis right now...of that I am sure.
Omaha wasn't much to look at although I did see the Woodmen and the Mutual of Omaha buildings. I don't know why I knew the Woodmen building, I've never been to Omaha before that I can remember. I drove through Nebraska once in the 70's but I wasn't paying attention to buildings or mechanical penis's at the time, preferring instead to cultivate the next real penis that was in my sites.
On that note, I will take me leave.
...one of those primal screams that will purge you of all negativity but I can't seem to convince me that it would work. It occurs to me that someone would hear me and call the cops and then they would come right over and find the stems that are all that's left of my California medicinal weed. I would do time for possession of stems and that's almost as stupid as doing time for jaywalking. I guess I should get rid of those now that I've mentioned them to the world.
I woke up this morning like I usually do, worrying for no good reason so my mind looked around until it found a good reason to justify the worrying. I know that's disjointed but at least I'm aware of it so maybe now I'll just try to stop doing that. I redirected my thoughts to my sore neck from the Greyhound Suitcase Caper and it occurred to me that I may have been a little rough on Mr. Patterson...the first driver on the bus who took us from Chi-town to Omaha where I was assaulted by a huge, drunken, bi-polar freak who is probably stalking me now because I spoke to the police after I spoke to the driver. I don't think Mr. Patterson would have let the drunken dude on the bus...he was much too much of an ex Marine, Nazi or old nun for that crap.
At the beginning of our trip, he announced with glee that the federal government had "FINALLY" passed a law making it a crime to remove one's shoes or socks on a bus. I was afraid to ask what the law was about people who wore only shoes and no socks...another thing I don't want to get locked up over.
So, this is my official apology to Colonel Klink...er, Mr. Patterson. Dude, I wished you had stayed, at least, until the bus left Omaha. Oh well, it is what it is and it was what it was.
Opie the security guard was useless, he should have accompanied the suitcase creep back on the bus to retrieve his belongings after they kicked him off. He did share stories with us while we were waiting in Omaha (before the suitcase to the head). He told us about a bar that was still open "over the river" and then added, "But it's a gay bar." I wouldn't have gone anyway but it was interesting to hear the story of the mechanical bull that's shaped like a penis. Somewhere in Omaha Nebraska, some brokeback cowboy is riding that penis right now...of that I am sure.
Omaha wasn't much to look at although I did see the Woodmen and the Mutual of Omaha buildings. I don't know why I knew the Woodmen building, I've never been to Omaha before that I can remember. I drove through Nebraska once in the 70's but I wasn't paying attention to buildings or mechanical penis's at the time, preferring instead to cultivate the next real penis that was in my sites.
On that note, I will take me leave.
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:35 AM
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