The United States government...

...is, depending upon the source you believe, either annoyed at or the mastermind of, the leak of information recently released yesterday at internet "whistleblower" Wikileaks. (http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/) Apparently the US feels as though some of the information might prove damaging to diplomatic relations between America and her Allies. Well, it seems as though some of our embassy personnel never learned anything from junior high school extra-curricular activities.

Most of us learned very young that, "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all." Another lesson usually learned early in life is that you shouldn't tell people things that you wouldn't want announced on the radio...or, as technology advances, on the internet.

I would have assumed that PROFESSIONAL diplomats would have a firmer grasp of the rules of diplomacy than most 13 year olds. But, I'm no better at diplomatic assumptions than I am at husband choosing. Here is a short smattering of the comments that Wikileak has furnished the entire world:

Gaddafi is reportedly obsessively dependent on traveling with a Ukrainian nurse described as a "voluptuous blond" because she alone "knows his routine."

North Korean leader Kim Jong Il is a "flabby old chap".

French President Nicholas Sarkozy, in the view of U.S. diplomats in Paris, has a "thin-skinned and authoritarian personal style".

Regarding Russian President Dimitry Medvedev and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, Medvedev "plays Robin to Putin's Batman".

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is "feckless, vain and ineffective as a modern European leader," according to a U.S. official in Rome. Another cable remarked on Berlusconi's "frequent late nights and penchant for partying hard".

Afghan President Hamid Karzai is described in one cable from Kabul as "an extremely weak man who did not listen to facts but was instead easily swayed by anyone who came to report even the most bizarre stories or plots against him".

So much for the above lessons of junior high school culture. A few other lessons that our diplomats might find helpful in the future:

1. The NEED TO KNOW LESSON. Who really needed to know that Kim Jong Il is a "flabby old chap"? (Who didn't know it in the first place?)

2. Don't give up an innocent third party when you try to insult someone. (What did the "voluptuous blond" do to earn mention as the object of Gaddafi's obsession?)

3. Name calling isn't nice. (AND... it is extremely unattractive when done by those over three years old.)

4. Treat others how you would like to be treated. (I doubt that our Secretary of State would like to be called "feckless", true or not."

5. Lying isn't too bright. Once you're nabbed, just admit your mistake. (Telling people that the world will end if they rat you out rarely works.)

Lastly, if it looks like a spy and walks like a spy, it just might be a spy so remember...those who look behind doors have stood behind many. The spy business is awfully unforgiving so be prepared to be an honorable, nice spy and not a two-faced diplomat!!!