Personal Pep Talk

First and foremost, I am a bitch. I have always been a bitch. I will continue to be a bitch. That said, I'm also a judicious bitch. I don't act bitchy when I meet paraplegic old ladies, but if you're of sound mind and body, I may unleash a bitchy assault on you.

It's a given that I would have to have a good reason to be bitchy and when given one, (as our President is so fond of saying) "Nothing is off the table". Today I must face a situation that frightens me. It seems as though the only way I can deal with it is to remember that I CAN be a bitch and that nothing really bad can happen to me.

A few people who have known me well have pointed out, "You seem like such a strong person and you don't take shit from anyone else, why do you let your family treat you so badly?

I've never had an answer to that question. I just hearken back to the part of me who believed that an entire family would only treat a fellow member so badly if they had a really good reason. And even though I didn't ever know exactly what I had done because the last thing people in my family would do is talk things out, I just assumed it was my fault.

People in my family have always accused me of "trying to make my father happy". Well, the truth is that I've been trying to make everybody happy. I've failed miserably because my success would mean that I was no longer the family scapegoat and I come from a family that depends upon me to accept the blame for the things they do not care to accept, deal with or acknowledge. But, being the whipping post for a family takes the spunk out of a person, along with any potential strength, self confidence, fortitude and.

But there are things that need to be done, demons to be faced and damage to overcome.