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Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Something On The News Should Be New

I know I'm used to living in or near large cities, hell, I was born in the shadow of the Empire State Building. I grew up outside of Chicago and I've lived near San Francisco and in Los Angeles. By the time I got to Atlanta, I considered that a relatively small city. But, never, ever have I lived in a place like Tampa.

It's too big to be compared to Roanoke Virginia (the smallest town I've lived in) but too small to be a real city. Tampa is large enough to have it's own news programming but I'm not really sure why.

The news here starts with basic gossip like any other news show. The problem is, there really isn't any news here. Oddly enough, they seem to like to report on holes here and unfortunately, they have a bunch of them. Sinkholes open up weekly and eat bushes, cars and the occasional house. I don't know why, but the news vans here seem to swarm to the newest hole to get a good shot of it as it eats whatever it's eating. After the hole story, they may discuss the upcoming GOP Convention, but even that isn't really news.

Then, they discuss the weather. In Tampa, the only unknown is whether or not it will rain. It rarely does so  there really isn't much to talk about. Of  course, you can always take bets on whether or not the temperature will be 2 degrees below 90 or two degrees above 90. The 5 day forecast looks something like this:

Monday 90, Tuesday 90, Wednesday 89, Thursday 90, Friday 91.

There's nothing new about 90 degree weather here in Tampa.

Of course they mention the traffic, but seriously, why bother? In the worst  traffic jam here, you might have to wait two red light cycles before you can go.

Then, of course, they have sports. Or, they think they do. They do have some major league teams here but they're too politically correct to call them but their real names. They have an MLB team here that was named the Devil Rays. But, some Christians whined about having a Satanic name so now they just call them Rays. How stupid is that? That's like white people bitching about Chicago's south-siders and then Chicago having a team called The Sox. How stupid would THAT be? Call the newest team shoes and you'd hear how  stupid that sounds. I can't take a team seriously if they have to change their  name...it annoys me every time I hear the word Ray. Not that I would care much anyway, I am, and always have been, a Cubs fan. Any team who can't fight an idea shouldn't be in the big league.

The anchors are rather chatty and pleasant, but  I hate chatty people, no matter how pleasant they are.

So, when the news is on in the morning, I just watch The Crocodile Hunter. I don't know why that guy lived as long as he did. He must have hated the news too and I imagine Australia can have some boring stuff as well.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's today's the news from The Tundra:
A guy was arrested for shooting his friend in the leg with a 22. The shoot-ee/"victim" bugged the shoot-er/his buddy to do it, "Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be shot."
Yes, they are both legal adults. That does not mean their collective IQs have begun to close in on their chronological ages, nor is it likely to improve even if these two are flash frozen post demise and "resurrected" before Dec. 12-or is it the 13th? eons from now. Dumb never gets anything but dumber.

Well, I guess when you've run through all the domestic and non-domestic animals for fun and entertainment why not just start shooting shit up-something different besides road signs and your neighbor's house. Help out your buddy who can't stand not having carnal-or is it visceral?-knowledge of a 22 when it's loaded, pointed in your direction and the trigger is pulled. Frankly, I think the guy shot at the wrong appendage because these two are the second reason why there are so many inbreds and wanna-be's conveniently located in my area. The first reason is because this concept called Birth Control is not now, nor will it ever be "in vogue"-just ask their 'parents'.
Who likely are not able to pay the medical bill for the shoot-ee or the bail for the shoot-er. They'd have to be able to read, write, add and subtract and that's just waaay beyond reasonable for any adult to accomplish in childhood and a good enough reason not to bother in adulthood.
Tundra Woman

May 15, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

LMAO...that sounds like the news from Virginy.

May 15, 2012  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And here's the follow up from today's news: No, they were not drinking or otherwise obviously impaired (that's by Tundra standards.) In fact they went to Walmart to pick out the ammo just prior to the 'incident.' The shoot-er states he put one round in his pocket and hoped his buddy the shoot-ee would change his mind. When they arrived back at the ranch (the shoot-ees residence) the perp "fiddled around with the weapon for 4 or 5 minutes hoping his friend would change his mind." Isn't that a guy for ya? Why didn't he just come out and say, "I'm just not that into shooting you?" He also stated he planned to miss the 'target' but I imagine that's pretty difficult when you're shooting at point blank range and have a male ego.
Somehow I have the feeling there's a Tundra "Brokeback Mountain" thing behind this but that's because I have this tendency to try to impose logic where there is none...and never will be.

May 16, 2012  

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