As I was eating my breakfast...

...I remembered some of the fun things that happened while I was in the Cuckoo's Nest. I was chowing down on a bag of gummy bears when I thought about the lean days. They were lean because, apparently, gunny bears are dangerous. Therefore, they were confiscated upon admission to the Cuckoo's Nest. The powers that be took away my gummy bears, along with my shoes, the belt to my bathrobe and my under wire bra. I got there in a foul mood so I didn't argue or ask any questions, mainly because I hate it when people say to me, "We can do this the hard way or we can do it the easy way." I've seen enough reality cop shows to know that the only wise move is to choose to do things "the easy way".

Eventually, I saw people wearing shoes and I hate getting my socks dirty. Apparently, my shoes were mistakenly confiscated because they were Velcro so I got them back. That made me happy. Add that happiness to the chilly nature of the Cuckoo's Nest and I was becoming rather emboldened. So, on one particularly chilly morning, I gave the staff of choice of their own when I said, "You guys are either going to have to turn the heat on or give me my bra back." They chose to give it back to me...minus the under wire that I count on for support. It was a compromise I was willing to make because I count on the cups to tame my wild nipples.

They even took the pictures of my kids that I had been grasping since before my suicide attempt. I understood why they took the frames and the glass, but I didn't know why I couldn't have the pictures. I could have done more damage to myself with one of the year old People magazines they offered as reading material. The pictures wouldn't have caused a paper cut but Lord knows that a page out of People could. Reading about engagements between people who have since divorced was sad. Really, really sad. I hate old People magazines.

Excuse me now, I need to finish my breakfast. I save the red ones for last so I'm down to only red gummy bears. This meal will be great!