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Saturday, July 13, 2013

Saturday Night

I've had a very interesting evening. When I found myself sitting on the front steps of this place opposite a man who was talking to himself...using his hands very expressively...I felt an uncontrolable urge to run up the stairs and grab this laptop so that I could tell you about this hideous evening that gets worse as I am sitting here trying to mind my own business.

I can sit here now because the trap that was being set all day was recently sprung and the hunters have cleaned up after themselves so this picnic table is avaliable. Of course that puts me right in plain view of all the vultures crawling around this dreadful place. The Jesus freaks are the worst of them all. They want your soul and feel entitled to it because they come here and act out their deepest Christian acts of kindness. The last two of them just left but not before stopping behind me, easily within a yard of my back, and beginning to chat...totally lacking any regard for the fact that I was sitting here typing.

I looked at the huge area in front of the building and then, stunned at their chosen location, turned around and said, "Really?" Then I just stared at them. Their response was to smile and attempt pleasantries. I continued, jaw literally dropped, staring at them until the guy had a social epiphany and began walking away. His crazy church lady cohort wisely followed him ten feet away from me. What odious creatures those church people are.

They set a trap for homeless souls here occasionally. Today they used bar-b-qued hamburgers, chicken, and hot dogs cooked in a smoker. Their bar-b-que smoke poured onto the front porch and into the front door. The trap was obviously planned well.

Hours after assaulting the entire building with the smell of a bar-b-qued trinity, they set up chairs and it was obvious that they planned to entertain. Apparently, the price of the "free" meal was your audience with Pastor Debra.

I had been reading in my room and when I carried my laptop downstairs searching for a WIFI connection, I suddenly heard a woman hollering. I ran outside and noticed some small children sitting on the steps. I asked, rather loudly, "Who's yelling around these kids?" The weekend guy who wear a black t-shirt that says "SECURITY" responded, "Ain't nobody yelling at those babies, this is church." I responded loudly enough to ensure that everyone at "church" heard the entire exchange, "Church?!"

I continued about my business as that nutty woman yelled at people for over 3 hours...I shit you not.

Eventually she shut up and I found myself back on the front porch when I looked out at the people having a post shouting match social and noticed one guy who was pawing all over a little 60 year old lady's back, thighs and arms. Kathy is about 4' 10" tall and must weigh all of 80 pounds. I walked over to them and told him to get his hands off of her. To paraphrase myself, I said something to the effect of:

"Get your hands off of her. Do you realize that you've put her in a position where she has to either tell you to stop or allow you to paw her in front of all of these people? She's too nice to tell you that "WOMEN HATE THAT!" What kind of woman do you think she is and what do all of these people think of her when they see you doing this to her?"

She tried to speak up for herself at one point and said, "Yeah. Especially when..." Then she stopped talking so I started again. I eventually shut up and walked away but he kept his hands to himself after that...so far.

Shortly after that, I found myself sitting next to the guy who was so into his own conversation with himself and I came here.

Just now, my roommate came to me and said, "I have 8 items missing from the top of the headboard." I've been sitting here since she left so I told her to go talk to security. This shit just keeps getting better.


Blogger Meg Kelso said...

Luckily my roommate found her stuff and apologized. Unfortunately, when I woke up, she was naked, onthe toilet with her legs in the air. I should have gone back to sleep but instead, I sufferred "Saturday Evening Continues."

July 14, 2013  

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