I noticed that many guys I got serious with would kind of cut off when something was wrong. It was like they had too much pride to say they were sorry or to even act sorry. What is up with that?
I think it may be that I’m sorry also means I’m wrong and a lot of people have a problem with that one. It probably has nothing to do with you personally. Admitting you are wrong is kind of hard to admit to yourself, much less to another person. And you know what? I don’t think it is specifically men that have a problem with that, it’s just that you are a woman and your experience is with the men. I can have a hard time when I’m wrong and it is basically because I hate to admit that I allowed myself to get into a position where I must apologize. What’s more important is the way someone behaves. Rick could say all the right things but he lied about everything. So, if he apologized for something, it was only because he had to in order to get something he wanted.
If a man wronged me, I would prefer he simply not repeat the behavior. The apology might be nice but it means absolutely nothing if the behavior doesn’t stop. I guess it is all in how you were raised. Some parents go out of their way to instill specific values in a child. My father would lecture me until I thought, “Just whip my ass and let me go.” But, I remember the things he taught me. One of his biggest issues is personal responsibility. I remember him saying that admitting when you are wrong is a sign of maturity. So, I can easily do it, I just don’t like it because it means that I screwed up. Contrary to popular opinion, men DO have feelings and one of them is pride. I am a woman and I have a hard time with it so I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for a good man to admit he screwed up. A bum will easily apologize and then do the same damn thing the next day. So, I think it is actually a good sign in a way. It means that they DO feel badly about something they did.
OK men...did I get that one right?
Meg: I also am in disbelief in some of your Rick stories. And in a secret guilty way, they make me feel better about myself.
You know, I knew that some men would feel this way. I also think that when you feel better about yourself like that, the next logical step is to try and aspire to be a better man. So, my secret is out. I am trying to build a new man from scratch.
Meg
I think it may be that I’m sorry also means I’m wrong and a lot of people have a problem with that one. It probably has nothing to do with you personally. Admitting you are wrong is kind of hard to admit to yourself, much less to another person. And you know what? I don’t think it is specifically men that have a problem with that, it’s just that you are a woman and your experience is with the men. I can have a hard time when I’m wrong and it is basically because I hate to admit that I allowed myself to get into a position where I must apologize. What’s more important is the way someone behaves. Rick could say all the right things but he lied about everything. So, if he apologized for something, it was only because he had to in order to get something he wanted.
If a man wronged me, I would prefer he simply not repeat the behavior. The apology might be nice but it means absolutely nothing if the behavior doesn’t stop. I guess it is all in how you were raised. Some parents go out of their way to instill specific values in a child. My father would lecture me until I thought, “Just whip my ass and let me go.” But, I remember the things he taught me. One of his biggest issues is personal responsibility. I remember him saying that admitting when you are wrong is a sign of maturity. So, I can easily do it, I just don’t like it because it means that I screwed up. Contrary to popular opinion, men DO have feelings and one of them is pride. I am a woman and I have a hard time with it so I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for a good man to admit he screwed up. A bum will easily apologize and then do the same damn thing the next day. So, I think it is actually a good sign in a way. It means that they DO feel badly about something they did.
OK men...did I get that one right?
Meg: I also am in disbelief in some of your Rick stories. And in a secret guilty way, they make me feel better about myself.
You know, I knew that some men would feel this way. I also think that when you feel better about yourself like that, the next logical step is to try and aspire to be a better man. So, my secret is out. I am trying to build a new man from scratch.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:29 PM
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