Good Morning!
Well, I heard from the youngin'. But...before I realized what I was doing, I had given him the address of this thing and just as soon as the address came out of my mouth, I tried to pull it back in as I remembered what I had said about him. What a nit wit I can be! Oh well, too late to do anything about that except sit here and act like Gomer Pyle. (By the way, youngin', I don't care where you were raised, stop calling me "Ma'am"! And I'll stop calling you "Boy".) So, since I was too stupid to keep the address to this place out of his little hands...I have to be a little bit coy now and I HATE that! Oh well, it won't last for long, I am not that coy.
Remember the reporter I spoke of the other day? Well, she is coming by this morning at 10. I have to get ready a little bit so she doesn't write something to the effect of, "Blog lady wears her jammies to interview." I don't want discuss the interview until I learn a bit more about it. I will wait for the article and let you know how to access it. In the meantime, if you want to read the article, go to www.ajc.com and save that until I know when the article will come out.
I wanted to thank the nice people who answered my questions yesterday, that couldn't have been very easy for some of them. I had asked a couple of personal questions and out of over a thousand visits to this blog yesterday, they were the only ones to respond so that must have taken some kind of nerve. Personally, I have such a big mouth that I would have answered the questions for anyone else, but like I said, I am special. :)
Anyway...today I want to ask another question. Years before she died, my mother told me that I shouldn't say a thing when my husband cheated. She said that if I just sat back and waited without saying a word, he would get over whatever husband stealing tramp that he was with and come back home. That truly shows a "generation gap", I think. I wasn't able to take my mother's advice. I could not abide the lies and deceit. But...when one person has an opinion...I always assume that there are many more people who feel the same way. It's too late for me...we all know what happened and I can't go back. So, out of curiosity for myself and the potential that someone else could benefit from your answer, what do you think of what my mother suggested? If you are a man...do you think she was right? If you are a woman, would you take her advice? Would anyone out there just sit back and try to wait out the affair? Or would you rather bleach his clothes and set them on fire?
And, conversely, are there any men who would quietly wait an affair out? Or would you rather boot her out on her can?
And...if you have never been in this situation, what do you think you would do?
Well, I am going to get out of my jammies. (And into some day wear.)
See ya after the interview.
Meg
Well, I heard from the youngin'. But...before I realized what I was doing, I had given him the address of this thing and just as soon as the address came out of my mouth, I tried to pull it back in as I remembered what I had said about him. What a nit wit I can be! Oh well, too late to do anything about that except sit here and act like Gomer Pyle. (By the way, youngin', I don't care where you were raised, stop calling me "Ma'am"! And I'll stop calling you "Boy".) So, since I was too stupid to keep the address to this place out of his little hands...I have to be a little bit coy now and I HATE that! Oh well, it won't last for long, I am not that coy.
Remember the reporter I spoke of the other day? Well, she is coming by this morning at 10. I have to get ready a little bit so she doesn't write something to the effect of, "Blog lady wears her jammies to interview." I don't want discuss the interview until I learn a bit more about it. I will wait for the article and let you know how to access it. In the meantime, if you want to read the article, go to www.ajc.com and save that until I know when the article will come out.
I wanted to thank the nice people who answered my questions yesterday, that couldn't have been very easy for some of them. I had asked a couple of personal questions and out of over a thousand visits to this blog yesterday, they were the only ones to respond so that must have taken some kind of nerve. Personally, I have such a big mouth that I would have answered the questions for anyone else, but like I said, I am special. :)
Anyway...today I want to ask another question. Years before she died, my mother told me that I shouldn't say a thing when my husband cheated. She said that if I just sat back and waited without saying a word, he would get over whatever husband stealing tramp that he was with and come back home. That truly shows a "generation gap", I think. I wasn't able to take my mother's advice. I could not abide the lies and deceit. But...when one person has an opinion...I always assume that there are many more people who feel the same way. It's too late for me...we all know what happened and I can't go back. So, out of curiosity for myself and the potential that someone else could benefit from your answer, what do you think of what my mother suggested? If you are a man...do you think she was right? If you are a woman, would you take her advice? Would anyone out there just sit back and try to wait out the affair? Or would you rather bleach his clothes and set them on fire?
And, conversely, are there any men who would quietly wait an affair out? Or would you rather boot her out on her can?
And...if you have never been in this situation, what do you think you would do?
Well, I am going to get out of my jammies. (And into some day wear.)
See ya after the interview.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 5:20 AM
3 Comments:
Exactly what I told my mother.
The reporter just left. I have an errand to run and will be back in a little bit.
Hope you are having a great day! It is very nice out today...finally.
Meg
too many variables for one answer to fit...
IF the cheater is seeking something that COULD be added to the original relationship if only they [a]knew how to express their desire [b] had the guts/honesty to say "you do X and X really drives me nuts, [c] has been unaware of real benefits in the relationship that could be brought to their consciousness... [d] (fill in the blank), THEN there is a small chance the discontent can be resolved/addressed and the wandering can be put in the past and its harm limited by a shared understanding of its origin. [I say small chance because people are usually stuck in patterns of neurosis or dishonesty for fairly deep reasons they can't always access, let alone change]
BUT...
IF the oringal relationship came about when it did because "that's who I was then" and either or both of you have discovered more stuff about who you are and what makes you happy or what suffocates you THEN you are probably never going to find the path back to the garden of eden or rather this time through, you will see all the thorns and bare earth where you thought there was a garden. The decent thing would be to put the last bit of consensual energies you have into hammering out an unblameful picture of what went wrong, suck it up and move on. If you both admit the possibility then you at least have a choice of whether you are going forward with a cold friend or a new enemy.
No one answer AFAIK. Though there are patterns, people construct and construe reality in totally unique ways and a relationship raises that billion realities to the second power.
Your mom's advice seems passive, geared to an era when a woman had fewer options for support and the onus for keeping a relationship from sinking was more on her. But what do I know?
Meg:
I get my daily horoscope on my e-mail every morning. I also get my boyfriend's, and he happens to be a Cancer. Check this out!!!
Cancer: Just when you thought things were settling down a bit, the universe has arranged for an extremely romantic day. The fun will likely start bright and early this morning. Don't be surprised if you have to gulp your morning coffee.
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