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Thursday, March 31, 2005

Good morning!

Well, today I am going to court ordered mediation. Apparently, it doesn't matter if you have a signed agreement, this county demands that you pay $350.00 an hour to have some mediating attorney go from room to room, carrying messages back and forth between parties who otherwise would be able to come to their own agreement.

You may remember that I had accepted Vex's first offer. Then, I received a lot of emails that said that I should ask for more. Well, since I was forced into mediation after I accepted his offer, I have now changed my mind. So many people have told me that I was letting him off too easily that today, I have a list. I am going to ask for a hell of a lot more than he offerred. I'll tell you later what happens, I don't want to put anything down that might serve as a warning to the other side.

FYI...when you have a wife who accepts your first offer, let her accept it. Don't annoy her further by changing your mind and forcing her to ask for more than she would have otherwise. And besides, you guys were right...he should pay more than the stupid things we agreed to before.

I tried to get this divorce over with quickly. At first, I didn't ask for alimony. But, when he left me for his bimbo while I was terribly ill and unable to support myself, I changed my mind. The he cancelled my car insurance without telling me. Next, he didn't tell me the dental insurance was changed so I incurred a bill that I shouldn't have. I don't have a car and that is his fault as well. He had ours reposessed and took the only other car that worked. He swore to a judge that I had a reliable car when he knew damn well that I didn't. He spent last summer quietly moving out, one piece at a time. He took things that were mine. My Lord of the Ring Trilogy was so important to me that he made sure to take it. He didn't even like thsoe movies, but he knew that I really, really did. That's why I bought them. He took my passport, why, I don't know. Just to be a jack ass I suppose.

He has made his point, he is a jack ass. He can stop proving it now. So, I have my list and the worst thing that can happen today is that we don't come to an agreement and then we have to go before a judge. Well, we could have been before a judge last month and gotten the divorce over with. Either he thinks he can stall so long that eventually I recover and go back to work...then I will make more than he does and I may end up paying him. Or, he is trying to avoid marrying his sleaze du jour. Even Vex knows better than to be single while a husband stealing tramp is biting at his heals.

Anyway, the mediation is at 2 P.M. so I will come back and immediately tell you all what happened. Right now, I have a lady with Alzheimer's disease roaming around my house asking me the same question over and over. She has spent this entire week on my phone. I sit back and listen to her call the same people over and over again during the course of a day, asking them the same questions each time. I don't feel right taking the phone away from her so I am a bit perplexed as to how to handle this. I have worked with Alzheimer's patient for decades and they are my favorite patients in the world. But I could always go home at the end of the day. Now I have my own personal patient.

This morning I awoke to find her calling her doctor in Chicago to ask if she actually DOES have Alzheimer's. He explained it all to her yesterday and the day before that. Her daughter tried to put her in a nursing home but she retained an attorney who spoke with her for 5 minutes and then got her out of the "home".

So...what do you do with a person who cannot possibly live alone but who refuses to live with anyone else? I wouldn't mind allowing her to stay, I do care about her. But she has started one fire already and no matter how many times we tell her she cannot smoke in this house, she won't stop. Then, when you remind her that she isn't supposed to smoke, she says, "OH...does it bother the kids wittle Mommy?"

My son got a little upset with that response. It bothers everyone of us. She belittled the idea of not smoking in front of the children. My parents knew her for 40 years and my mother used to say that she was surprised that my father married her because he always complained that she was a bitch. Well, bitches get Alzheimer's too. That's how you end up with mean and nasty old people who spit at, bite and punch you. Like I said, I enjoy the patients. When I am working, I see it coming and prepare. In my own home, I don't. She hasn't become violent yet but she certainly has had quite a few "incidents" that prove that she is unsafe to live alone. She wants to buy a condo but she just sold one. She sold hers for $250, 000 and wants to buy a new one for $188,000. Basically, that means that she traded her large condo in for a much smaller one and she made sure that her shameless realtors took the rest in commision. I have woken up to find her putting a check for $56,000 in an envelope. These realtors are in such a frenzy to earn their commision that they don't care if they take her life savings from her. You might be able to get through one conversation without figuring out how confused she is but these people are speaking to her 10 times a day, answering the same questions and then they fax hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of paperwork to her for her signature. I didn't stop her because I didn't think any realtor would take her money under such conditions. Man, was I wrong! Do any of you know if that is legal or not?

And before Jimmy even asks, NO! She has no family, the daughter has washed her hands of anything to do with her mother except for her money. It is amazing how many people will take advantage of an elderly woman. She has offerred to buy me a car every day since she got here. She never remembers that she has offerred, she just offers again. I could let her buy me a car a day until her money runs out but I wouldn't do that. It would be very easy for a person of lesser character to rob this woman blind. The realtors are trying, her psychiatrist is trying, charging her for "phone conferences". Everyday she calls him with one problem or another and he tells her to stop taking this medicine or that medicine. I have no respect for doctors who manipulate meds simply to shut thier patients up. As a result, I cannot get her stabilized on anything. I took her to a doctor here who has a good reputation and he is taking fine care of her.

But this charlaton who hasn't been able to heal her in 30 years and hasn't seen her in I don't know how long is totally screwing up her plan of care. My father said that a doctor who treats and charges someone for 30 years and never sees any improvment should be shot. That's a tad severe, but he certainly shouldn't be practicing medicine...especially not by phone. And, especially when the patient HAS a doctor. My nerves are a bit shot today and I haven't even gotten to the court thing yet.

Oh well, such is life. I have been having trouble posting lately, I've lost at least 3 posts that I wrote directly into the blog just before the computer booted me. So, please have patience, I have been typing away but I just can't seem to get what I am typing onto the blog. I don't know what the server's problem is but it is messing with me.

I fell asleep at midnight after listening to my houseguest complain all evening. Her medication finally kicked in and she calmed down enough to fall asleep. Then, she woke me up at 6. This was the one day I thought I might be able to get 8 hours sleep. I would pay cash to anyone who could knock me out for 12 hours without hitting me in the head. I am tired and frustrated but other than that...I am just fine!!!!

Have a great day and I will speak to you as soon as I get back from mediation. They said it could last up to 3 hours and I have to be there at 2 P.M. EST. Then I will come home so I will be back in touch ASAP.

See ya!!

Meg

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Margaret,

How long does your guest with the missing mind stay. Will she ever return to Chicago? Why don't you let her buy you a car, for services rendered. I think if she is a part of your life now, legal possession is in order, of her.

March 31, 2005  

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