Meg...
...The tough thing about saying your marriage/divorce has no lies (like I said about mine at one point) is that the lies are usually there. You just don't know about them yet.
Absolutely. I found out about many lies after Vex left. When the liar isn’t there to manipulate you anymore, you see things you should have seen in the first place.
What we have in common is divorcing someone we lived with for 20 years... everything else is different.
I like to think that that is the part I spend most of my time on.
Hmm have you got any of the Vex's personal effects that you could auction too?
They went in last summer’s “Betrayed Wife Sale.” It got a mention the Marietta Daily Journal’s Seen Around Town section.
I just found this site two days ago and am just now really reading it. So forgive me, but who is this Kevin and why is he stalking? Do you have any idea at all?
I do now. By the way....Kevin...Yes, I have seen you, of course. Who hasn’t? I’m sorry I splashed your comments up here but I didn’t know who you were. I will keep your secret as long as you want me to.
What a shot-in the heart to discover that your wife is in another bed with her legs open.
I can relate. I got that shot in the heart too but it wasn’t a woman whose legs I imagined spreading. And I get to picture them spreading on my own bed, don't I Vex? Gail?
...one of the main reasons I married ole Tex is because he's never needed a back-up pitcher, he knows where the cut-off man is and he knows how to sweet talk the umpire.
What a lucky lady!
How about calling him your "vex" husband? 'V' could stand for very, or verminous, or vituperative, or vitriolic, or venomous, or... well, you get the idea.
I looked up the definition of Vex and decided it fit perfectly. Fang was taken. These are my Webster's definitions of Vex: 1. to agitate. 2.to bring trouble, distress to. 3. to bring physical distress to. 4. to irritate or annoy by petty provocations. 5. to shake or toss around. Perfect, 'ey?
.... the furniture's not ours you see, que sera sera .... Isn't that what Doris Day sang?
LOLOL, that was cute.
I didn't realize or even suspect the love of my life was cheating until he made changes in his behavior that were eerily like Rick's.
Love isn’t blind, it is just so extraordinarily slow on the uptake. I KNEW the signs, I've seen Oprah. But he is such a good liar and I wanted to believe him. Luckily, once you put distance between a coward who can't tell the truth and yourself, you see things much more clearly.
She is only with him (and she told me this herself) because she grew up without a father, and said that no matter what, her daughter will not be the same. So she stays with him, even though they are both more like friends than companions. He picks out her clothes, he plans her days and what they will do after work. These two do not do ANYTHING without the other. She is so sick of it. They work the same days, have the same days off, dress exactly the same...etc. She is unhappy in the relationship, but thinks that is unimportant because she sees how happy her daughter is.
I think that your friend is using her daughter’s supposed need for a father to cover up for her own insecurities.
I think a big part of the problem is that when a woman has an affair with a married man, she doesn't get "the leftovers" as you suggest. She gets to see only the nicest, sweetest, most charming side of the cheater, and fools herself into thinking that is his whole personality. He saves all his anger and guilt and negative emotions for his poor wife, who wonders what the heck is going on.
I am sure you are right. But I am just a little odd. There isn't enough charm in the world to convince me that a cheating husband isn't a liar. That is all the substantiation a reputable lady needs.
...my wife is 15 years older then I am. No problem with that. She is beautiful as she ever was.
There are so many lucky couples out there. I hope they feel like this forever.
Well, I must go act as though my laundry needs doing. Come back later for my vespertine thoughts.
Meg
...The tough thing about saying your marriage/divorce has no lies (like I said about mine at one point) is that the lies are usually there. You just don't know about them yet.
Absolutely. I found out about many lies after Vex left. When the liar isn’t there to manipulate you anymore, you see things you should have seen in the first place.
What we have in common is divorcing someone we lived with for 20 years... everything else is different.
I like to think that that is the part I spend most of my time on.
Hmm have you got any of the Vex's personal effects that you could auction too?
They went in last summer’s “Betrayed Wife Sale.” It got a mention the Marietta Daily Journal’s Seen Around Town section.
I just found this site two days ago and am just now really reading it. So forgive me, but who is this Kevin and why is he stalking? Do you have any idea at all?
I do now. By the way....Kevin...Yes, I have seen you, of course. Who hasn’t? I’m sorry I splashed your comments up here but I didn’t know who you were. I will keep your secret as long as you want me to.
What a shot-in the heart to discover that your wife is in another bed with her legs open.
I can relate. I got that shot in the heart too but it wasn’t a woman whose legs I imagined spreading. And I get to picture them spreading on my own bed, don't I Vex? Gail?
...one of the main reasons I married ole Tex is because he's never needed a back-up pitcher, he knows where the cut-off man is and he knows how to sweet talk the umpire.
What a lucky lady!
How about calling him your "vex" husband? 'V' could stand for very, or verminous, or vituperative, or vitriolic, or venomous, or... well, you get the idea.
I looked up the definition of Vex and decided it fit perfectly. Fang was taken. These are my Webster's definitions of Vex: 1. to agitate. 2.to bring trouble, distress to. 3. to bring physical distress to. 4. to irritate or annoy by petty provocations. 5. to shake or toss around. Perfect, 'ey?
.... the furniture's not ours you see, que sera sera .... Isn't that what Doris Day sang?
LOLOL, that was cute.
I didn't realize or even suspect the love of my life was cheating until he made changes in his behavior that were eerily like Rick's.
Love isn’t blind, it is just so extraordinarily slow on the uptake. I KNEW the signs, I've seen Oprah. But he is such a good liar and I wanted to believe him. Luckily, once you put distance between a coward who can't tell the truth and yourself, you see things much more clearly.
She is only with him (and she told me this herself) because she grew up without a father, and said that no matter what, her daughter will not be the same. So she stays with him, even though they are both more like friends than companions. He picks out her clothes, he plans her days and what they will do after work. These two do not do ANYTHING without the other. She is so sick of it. They work the same days, have the same days off, dress exactly the same...etc. She is unhappy in the relationship, but thinks that is unimportant because she sees how happy her daughter is.
I think that your friend is using her daughter’s supposed need for a father to cover up for her own insecurities.
I think a big part of the problem is that when a woman has an affair with a married man, she doesn't get "the leftovers" as you suggest. She gets to see only the nicest, sweetest, most charming side of the cheater, and fools herself into thinking that is his whole personality. He saves all his anger and guilt and negative emotions for his poor wife, who wonders what the heck is going on.
I am sure you are right. But I am just a little odd. There isn't enough charm in the world to convince me that a cheating husband isn't a liar. That is all the substantiation a reputable lady needs.
...my wife is 15 years older then I am. No problem with that. She is beautiful as she ever was.
There are so many lucky couples out there. I hope they feel like this forever.
Well, I must go act as though my laundry needs doing. Come back later for my vespertine thoughts.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 11:03 AM
1 Comments:
I think that your friend is using her daughter’s supposed need for a father to cover up for her own insecurities.
Probably right... my own experience bears this out. I think that the last couple of years of our marriage were mainly "for the children" -- but the atmosphere was so poisonous, it was obviously bad for the kids. They are much happier now, sincerely. One of the kids used to get stomach pains, that I was pretty sure were psychosomatic. Sure enough , once we separated, the pains went away. Then, a few weeks ago, we had a fight in front of the kids... sure enough, the pains were back the next day.
Even if you're not fighting, you can't fool the kids, they soak up the atmosphere. You show them suffering, they learn how to do it.
Having said that... yes, that little girl needs her father. But she doesn't need her father to live with her mother.
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