Auntie made a comment...
...that I thought should be addressed. She is right, people don’t THINK enough before they get married. Hell, my first two marriages involved no more thought than I put into some of these posts. It would certainly help if people knew each other for some time first but I knew Vex for 6 years and I still screwed up.
It appears as though some people marry the first person who is willing to marry them. I know I did that. I was only 18 at the time and no one ever told me a thing about marriage. Hell, my “sex talk” with my mother went something like this:
Mom: When people are in love, they lie very close to each other.
Me: You mean like when grasshoppers hop together? (I had just seen two grasshoppers hopping, one of them was on the other’s back)
Mom: Yes.
Then she fell asleep. When I was 15, we had a built in swimming pool and my friends would come over all the time to swim in it. A guy named Fred and I were sunning in the yard after swimming and he started to kiss me. He rolled over on top of me as we were making out when all of a sudden I remembered what my mother had told me. I pushed him off of me and started crying. I thought I was preggers for sure. He hadn’t even touched a tit, much less anything else. But I thought that you got pregnant by “lying very close” to a man. When my daughter was 8, I took my nursing books and explained everything to her, WITH pictures. I wouldn’t have necessarily done it then except she started asking questions. I didn’t want her to be as shocked as I was when I first had sex. I said something along the lines of:
“You want to do what with that? Where? I don’t think so. It couldn’t possibly fit.”
Well, we have fixed that problem, all the kids know exactly what to do nowadays. But, we haven’t taught them a thing about marriage, unless you count the disposable nature of marriage that is permeating every part of our society. I have no answers to that one except to set by example. We need to talk to our kids about marriage like we do about drugs. (At least I hope we are talking about drugs to them!)
Kids do listen to their parents. Maybe not right away, but things that my father taught me are still ingrained in my mind and I often refer back to some of his advice when confronted with a situation where I have to make a decision. When he WAS talking to me as a kid, I hated to listen. But I am so grateful that he kept on talking anyway. He will never know how much he has taught me. I can only pray that one day, my kids will say the same about me.
Meg
...that I thought should be addressed. She is right, people don’t THINK enough before they get married. Hell, my first two marriages involved no more thought than I put into some of these posts. It would certainly help if people knew each other for some time first but I knew Vex for 6 years and I still screwed up.
It appears as though some people marry the first person who is willing to marry them. I know I did that. I was only 18 at the time and no one ever told me a thing about marriage. Hell, my “sex talk” with my mother went something like this:
Mom: When people are in love, they lie very close to each other.
Me: You mean like when grasshoppers hop together? (I had just seen two grasshoppers hopping, one of them was on the other’s back)
Mom: Yes.
Then she fell asleep. When I was 15, we had a built in swimming pool and my friends would come over all the time to swim in it. A guy named Fred and I were sunning in the yard after swimming and he started to kiss me. He rolled over on top of me as we were making out when all of a sudden I remembered what my mother had told me. I pushed him off of me and started crying. I thought I was preggers for sure. He hadn’t even touched a tit, much less anything else. But I thought that you got pregnant by “lying very close” to a man. When my daughter was 8, I took my nursing books and explained everything to her, WITH pictures. I wouldn’t have necessarily done it then except she started asking questions. I didn’t want her to be as shocked as I was when I first had sex. I said something along the lines of:
“You want to do what with that? Where? I don’t think so. It couldn’t possibly fit.”
Well, we have fixed that problem, all the kids know exactly what to do nowadays. But, we haven’t taught them a thing about marriage, unless you count the disposable nature of marriage that is permeating every part of our society. I have no answers to that one except to set by example. We need to talk to our kids about marriage like we do about drugs. (At least I hope we are talking about drugs to them!)
Kids do listen to their parents. Maybe not right away, but things that my father taught me are still ingrained in my mind and I often refer back to some of his advice when confronted with a situation where I have to make a decision. When he WAS talking to me as a kid, I hated to listen. But I am so grateful that he kept on talking anyway. He will never know how much he has taught me. I can only pray that one day, my kids will say the same about me.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 9:04 AM
1 Comments:
I think everyone has the same problem; they try to make sence out of a failed marriage by trying to categorize it.
It dont matter if you are young, I am 65 years old an have been married to my beautiful wife since we were 19. We were young, and we werent forced into nothin.
People say once a cheater, always a cheater. That's not true either. My daughter can vouch for that.
People have to realize, things like age and gender and a person's past dont play that big a role in marriage. I think it all comes down to if it is meant to be. I was pretty wild in my early teens, and when I met my wife, she made me want to be a better person. Think about this about the person you want to marry, Do they make you want to be a better person? Do you make them want to be?
Arthur
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