Meg...
...Just call me NotHimorHer though anonymous...I'd never heard of Maggie as a nick for Margaret but have known of several Megs...go figure!
LOL, that’s good enough. I’ll just shorten you to Not. Hi, nice to meet you, Not. LOLOLOL. That’s too funny, Not. Your point is well taken, Margaret has so many nick names for us to choose from. I like the name Margaret itself but it is not easy to spell and everybody seems to shorten it immediately. They will say, “What’s your name?” When I answer, “Margaret.”, they say, “Oh, hi Maggie!” I sometimes wonder why they even ask. My eldest is named William. When he was a kid, people would ask, “What’s his name?” I would say, “William.” Then they would ask, “What do you call him?” Well, oddly enough, I call him William. When we met in the delivery room, that’s the name I gave him and it has been his name ever since. Some people have a tendency to rename everyone they meet. Whatever.
In my ex’s family, (Vex is Vex, my ex is my ex) they add an EE sound to everybody’s name. Mark was Marky, Rocco was Rocky, Jack was Jacky. But if your name already HAD an EE sound at the end of it , they took it away. At the time, most of my friends called me Margie. The in-laws called me Marge. My mother-in-law was named Dorothy, but they called her Dor. I don’t get it.
Someone sent me a list of reasons why men have two dogs and not two women. You can read it if you want to. It's at the end of the last post that had my horoscope on it. At first glance, it's kind of cute, but when you really look at it, you get the idea that it was written by someone who thinks very little of women. So, I decided to answer the freak myself:
26 Reasons why all women would do well to stay away from a man who compares them to dogs:
1. The longer you wait for them, the longer they stay away.
2. They WILL play with other women and then they will bring you something that a flea collar won’t cure.
3. If they see a gorgeous woman, they will not stop until they do more than hump her leg.
4. Sooner or later, they WILL call you by another woman’s name.
5. They not only leave things on the floor, they get annoyed with YOU for not picking the stuff up.
6. Their mother comes for weeks at a time and when she does, she chain smokes the entire time so that the house needs to be painted and sucks vodka straight until she passes out every day. And then, she sleeps all day and you have to tippy toe around the house so that you don't wake up the hungover nut lady. (By the way Gail, for some reason his mother steals shoes when she is drunk...remember to hide yours from her.)
7. They will degrade you and your body in cruel attempts to hurt you when they are mad.
8. They actually BELIEVE that they have to raise their voice to get their point across.
9. They will lie to you so much that you will find yourself going through their wallets to get the truth so that you can go about your own life.
10. They seldom outlive you and they have no life insurance.
11. They can’t speak properly so you can’t take them anywhere without being secretly embarrassed.
12. You never have to get dressed up, they will never take you anywhere.
13. They think that they are amusing when they are drunk.
14. They say they are fishing or hunting when they are really across town in an extended stay motel with a sleazy tramp.
15. They wouldn’t hesitate to steal another man’s wife. (Here’s another caution: If your wife works at the Circuit City Service Center in Lithia Springs, Georgia, keep an eye on her)
16. They actually say things like, “I wish you would go ahead and die already.”
17. If they get do you pregnant, you will end up having to sell your stuff to pay the bills, eventually.
18. They are too dishonest to ask their wives for sexual favors that they assume can only be gotten from a filthy Kennesaw trailer park, by a woman who lives behind a convenience store parking lot.
19.They don't have enough credit to buy a new car.
20. They will eventually come home smelling like another woman.
21. On a car trip, or at any other time, they are not at all concerned with your comfort.
22. They seem to be overly committed to pornography and they get off to the slanted reception of porno movies that they don’t pay for, explaining why they have no perception of what an attractive woman looks like.
23. When you get old, they replace you with a younger, stupid woman who will, in all likelihood, buy their lies.
24. They tend to drive broken down pick-up trucks and cars made in the last millennium.
25. They couldn’t afford to take you to Bloomingdale’s or Neiman-Marcus.
And last, but not least:
26. They have nothing of value and they don’t make their child support or alimony payments in a timely manner. You will end up either paying the ex for him, or bailing him out of jail when he is arrested for contempt of court and violating the terms of a restraining order...again.
Have a nice day!
Meg
...Just call me NotHimorHer though anonymous...I'd never heard of Maggie as a nick for Margaret but have known of several Megs...go figure!
LOL, that’s good enough. I’ll just shorten you to Not. Hi, nice to meet you, Not. LOLOLOL. That’s too funny, Not. Your point is well taken, Margaret has so many nick names for us to choose from. I like the name Margaret itself but it is not easy to spell and everybody seems to shorten it immediately. They will say, “What’s your name?” When I answer, “Margaret.”, they say, “Oh, hi Maggie!” I sometimes wonder why they even ask. My eldest is named William. When he was a kid, people would ask, “What’s his name?” I would say, “William.” Then they would ask, “What do you call him?” Well, oddly enough, I call him William. When we met in the delivery room, that’s the name I gave him and it has been his name ever since. Some people have a tendency to rename everyone they meet. Whatever.
In my ex’s family, (Vex is Vex, my ex is my ex) they add an EE sound to everybody’s name. Mark was Marky, Rocco was Rocky, Jack was Jacky. But if your name already HAD an EE sound at the end of it , they took it away. At the time, most of my friends called me Margie. The in-laws called me Marge. My mother-in-law was named Dorothy, but they called her Dor. I don’t get it.
Someone sent me a list of reasons why men have two dogs and not two women. You can read it if you want to. It's at the end of the last post that had my horoscope on it. At first glance, it's kind of cute, but when you really look at it, you get the idea that it was written by someone who thinks very little of women. So, I decided to answer the freak myself:
26 Reasons why all women would do well to stay away from a man who compares them to dogs:
1. The longer you wait for them, the longer they stay away.
2. They WILL play with other women and then they will bring you something that a flea collar won’t cure.
3. If they see a gorgeous woman, they will not stop until they do more than hump her leg.
4. Sooner or later, they WILL call you by another woman’s name.
5. They not only leave things on the floor, they get annoyed with YOU for not picking the stuff up.
6. Their mother comes for weeks at a time and when she does, she chain smokes the entire time so that the house needs to be painted and sucks vodka straight until she passes out every day. And then, she sleeps all day and you have to tippy toe around the house so that you don't wake up the hungover nut lady. (By the way Gail, for some reason his mother steals shoes when she is drunk...remember to hide yours from her.)
7. They will degrade you and your body in cruel attempts to hurt you when they are mad.
8. They actually BELIEVE that they have to raise their voice to get their point across.
9. They will lie to you so much that you will find yourself going through their wallets to get the truth so that you can go about your own life.
10. They seldom outlive you and they have no life insurance.
11. They can’t speak properly so you can’t take them anywhere without being secretly embarrassed.
12. You never have to get dressed up, they will never take you anywhere.
13. They think that they are amusing when they are drunk.
14. They say they are fishing or hunting when they are really across town in an extended stay motel with a sleazy tramp.
15. They wouldn’t hesitate to steal another man’s wife. (Here’s another caution: If your wife works at the Circuit City Service Center in Lithia Springs, Georgia, keep an eye on her)
16. They actually say things like, “I wish you would go ahead and die already.”
17. If they get do you pregnant, you will end up having to sell your stuff to pay the bills, eventually.
18. They are too dishonest to ask their wives for sexual favors that they assume can only be gotten from a filthy Kennesaw trailer park, by a woman who lives behind a convenience store parking lot.
19.They don't have enough credit to buy a new car.
20. They will eventually come home smelling like another woman.
21. On a car trip, or at any other time, they are not at all concerned with your comfort.
22. They seem to be overly committed to pornography and they get off to the slanted reception of porno movies that they don’t pay for, explaining why they have no perception of what an attractive woman looks like.
23. When you get old, they replace you with a younger, stupid woman who will, in all likelihood, buy their lies.
24. They tend to drive broken down pick-up trucks and cars made in the last millennium.
25. They couldn’t afford to take you to Bloomingdale’s or Neiman-Marcus.
And last, but not least:
26. They have nothing of value and they don’t make their child support or alimony payments in a timely manner. You will end up either paying the ex for him, or bailing him out of jail when he is arrested for contempt of court and violating the terms of a restraining order...again.
Have a nice day!
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 12:29 PM
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