Good morning!
I just woke up and my house is very hot but when I took the dog outside, it was lovely out there. At least it was compared to my house. I kept my grandkids overnight because there grandfather is dying and wasn’t expected to last through the night. These poor kids are losing the most important people in there lives one at a time. I don’t even know how you explain death to kids that that young.
I was pretty lucky, I didn’t lose anyone that I was close to until I had kids of my own. Their grandfather is younger than I and he is dying of lung cancer. He was only 44 when he was diagnosed and that was right about the time that I was diagnosed with my cancer. I can’t complain and I’m ashamed that I did feel so sorry for myself. No matter how bad things seem, they are always worse for someone else.
The other grandmother and I had a long conversation about which is worse, being dumped or losing your husband to death. Of course, we both had our own reasons that our situation was worse. She said that losing a spouse to death is worse because you never have any hope of getting them back. I felt that it was worse to be dumped because at least you can understand why someone would die and the love hasn’t gone anywhere. I felt that when you were dumped, you are left with a huge hurt and you don’t know what happened to the love that you counted on for years. There was a time when by biggest fear was the day that one of us (Vex and I) would have to bury the other. Of course, at the time, I didn't know that he was spending so much time in that trailer park. I guess it’s just that your own situation is worse no matter what it is.
It’s still hard for me at times, especially the loneliness. It’s tough when even certain dates are upsetting. I am stuck between feeling angry and feeling sad. It’s an awful place to be stuck. I find it hard to fathom that it has been almost a year since Vex left. He always wanted me to keep my hair short and since he left, I haven’t cut it at all so even brushing my hair is a reminder.
But, I am not going to be sorry for myself when there is a family not too far from here that deserves to be happy and they are losing one of their own. This is a relatively young couple, the guy is 45 now and the woman is close to that age...I’ve never asked her how old she is. They had finally gotten through some really bad times and were becoming closer when this happened to them.
It’s been about 18 months since he was diagnosed with the cancer so they have had a while to say good-bye. How sad that is...people who love each other and treat each other so kind should be able to live their lives out with each other. They haven't hurt a soul, they've just tried to share their lives with each other...this kind of thing shouldn't happen. But, as Jimmy Carter once said, "Life isn't fair". Boy, was he right about that!
When I was in my twenties and working in cancer, I remember a lady that I took care of often who was dying. She was 44 and I remember thinking that she had lived a nice long life! Isn’t that amazing? I actually thought that 44 was old. And, since I was about 24 at that time, I think that a saying that I heard is so true, “Old is 20 years older than you are.” But, when you start realizing how fast the time flies, I think that even 20 years isn’t any good. My grandmother died at 62, everybody I tell that to says, “Oh, that’s so young!”
I guess age isn’t that important at all. What is important is that no matter how old you are, you realize how precious life is. So, with my friend dying, I am going to remind myself how lucky I am to be here right now.
None of us knows when the end will come, our young children are as vulnerable to illnesses and accidents as their grandparents are.
Tomorrow isn’t a given, we may be here or we may not. All we really have is today so we should make the most of it.
Have you ever gotten into a bad situation (like some kind of accident) and then wished that you could start the day over again and do something different? I’ve done that numerous times...wished that I could go back and do something differently. Well, we can’t do that. So, the best thing that we can do is to try to prevent the bad things from happening. And knowing that our acquaintances are as vulnerable as we are should make us treat them with a little bit of respect, no matter how much we’d like to be nasty or blow them off.
Well, those kids have woken up and I think I am going to take the time before the AC guys get here to play with them. If you have any kids in your life, take some time out of your day for them, they are truly worth it and someday, they might be the only people around for you when you need someone the most.
Well, I am going to try to remember an attitude that I use to have everyday...I want to get that back. It was an attitude that said, “Carpe Diem” every morning.
So, off with you...go seize the day!
See ya soon,
Meg
PS Have any of you lost something that you were sending through the mail? I overnighted something to a friend and he said that the thing that I sent him was NOT in the fed-ex envelope. Have any of you ever lost anything like that? If you did, did you ever get it back?
I just woke up and my house is very hot but when I took the dog outside, it was lovely out there. At least it was compared to my house. I kept my grandkids overnight because there grandfather is dying and wasn’t expected to last through the night. These poor kids are losing the most important people in there lives one at a time. I don’t even know how you explain death to kids that that young.
I was pretty lucky, I didn’t lose anyone that I was close to until I had kids of my own. Their grandfather is younger than I and he is dying of lung cancer. He was only 44 when he was diagnosed and that was right about the time that I was diagnosed with my cancer. I can’t complain and I’m ashamed that I did feel so sorry for myself. No matter how bad things seem, they are always worse for someone else.
The other grandmother and I had a long conversation about which is worse, being dumped or losing your husband to death. Of course, we both had our own reasons that our situation was worse. She said that losing a spouse to death is worse because you never have any hope of getting them back. I felt that it was worse to be dumped because at least you can understand why someone would die and the love hasn’t gone anywhere. I felt that when you were dumped, you are left with a huge hurt and you don’t know what happened to the love that you counted on for years. There was a time when by biggest fear was the day that one of us (Vex and I) would have to bury the other. Of course, at the time, I didn't know that he was spending so much time in that trailer park. I guess it’s just that your own situation is worse no matter what it is.
It’s still hard for me at times, especially the loneliness. It’s tough when even certain dates are upsetting. I am stuck between feeling angry and feeling sad. It’s an awful place to be stuck. I find it hard to fathom that it has been almost a year since Vex left. He always wanted me to keep my hair short and since he left, I haven’t cut it at all so even brushing my hair is a reminder.
But, I am not going to be sorry for myself when there is a family not too far from here that deserves to be happy and they are losing one of their own. This is a relatively young couple, the guy is 45 now and the woman is close to that age...I’ve never asked her how old she is. They had finally gotten through some really bad times and were becoming closer when this happened to them.
It’s been about 18 months since he was diagnosed with the cancer so they have had a while to say good-bye. How sad that is...people who love each other and treat each other so kind should be able to live their lives out with each other. They haven't hurt a soul, they've just tried to share their lives with each other...this kind of thing shouldn't happen. But, as Jimmy Carter once said, "Life isn't fair". Boy, was he right about that!
When I was in my twenties and working in cancer, I remember a lady that I took care of often who was dying. She was 44 and I remember thinking that she had lived a nice long life! Isn’t that amazing? I actually thought that 44 was old. And, since I was about 24 at that time, I think that a saying that I heard is so true, “Old is 20 years older than you are.” But, when you start realizing how fast the time flies, I think that even 20 years isn’t any good. My grandmother died at 62, everybody I tell that to says, “Oh, that’s so young!”
I guess age isn’t that important at all. What is important is that no matter how old you are, you realize how precious life is. So, with my friend dying, I am going to remind myself how lucky I am to be here right now.
None of us knows when the end will come, our young children are as vulnerable to illnesses and accidents as their grandparents are.
Tomorrow isn’t a given, we may be here or we may not. All we really have is today so we should make the most of it.
Have you ever gotten into a bad situation (like some kind of accident) and then wished that you could start the day over again and do something different? I’ve done that numerous times...wished that I could go back and do something differently. Well, we can’t do that. So, the best thing that we can do is to try to prevent the bad things from happening. And knowing that our acquaintances are as vulnerable as we are should make us treat them with a little bit of respect, no matter how much we’d like to be nasty or blow them off.
Well, those kids have woken up and I think I am going to take the time before the AC guys get here to play with them. If you have any kids in your life, take some time out of your day for them, they are truly worth it and someday, they might be the only people around for you when you need someone the most.
Well, I am going to try to remember an attitude that I use to have everyday...I want to get that back. It was an attitude that said, “Carpe Diem” every morning.
So, off with you...go seize the day!
See ya soon,
Meg
PS Have any of you lost something that you were sending through the mail? I overnighted something to a friend and he said that the thing that I sent him was NOT in the fed-ex envelope. Have any of you ever lost anything like that? If you did, did you ever get it back?
posted by Meg Kelso | 4:53 AM
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