I’m watching a movie...
...called Solaris, and George Clooney picked up some hot chick and did the horizontal bop with her the night they met. I think it was the night they met, there was some reference to a train but I missed that. One way or another, it was pretty damned fast after meeting. Why is it that when movie folks screw each other the night they meet it’s considered sexy but if we do it, it’s pretty skanky?
It’s guys that make it skanky. We women could get it on and remain friends, carry on a relationship and everything like that but dudes tend to bolt if you bed them too soon. So, that’s why we don’t...DUH. The movie’s back on and the dead chick is in a futuristic holding area of some sort asking George why he won't let her out. As I’ve said, I miss my mother but if she walked into my kitchen, I’d have to run away. If there was some official ceremony at a church that brought her back, then it would probably be OK, but barring that, I couldn’t handle her just walking in on me. I bet my sister could though, now the two of them can wonder which one of them I’m talking about.
OK, I fell asleep watching that movie and now I don’t know why the dead wife was on the space ship. I hate that. And NO! Don’t tell me, I’ll see it again sometime. So, here I am up at 4 am again. Well, that’s sort of a good thing because I have to go to traffic court today. That’s so much fun. I know I seem to go a lot but I promise, I’m slowing down now.
I don’t know what to wear. I want to wear jeans, but they tend to frown on that. At least Judge Judy does. I have a couple of outfits that are appropriate, but I can’t stand getting dressed up early in the morning. Especially when I’m not even going to have any fun.
I wonder why everyone wears western style clothing? Why not lederhosen? Why not a sari? Hawaiian crap would be more comfortable. It’s a good thing those foot binding things never took off, I like big comfortable shoes, and no, I’m not gay, I just hate a bunion.
Well, it’s still dark, I don’t know how my circadian rhythm is handling all of this. It all started when I kept getting up in the middle of the night to eat a bowl of cereal. I guess Snap spoke to Crackle, Crackle spoke to Pop and Pop told my brain and now my brain thinks it’s supposed to wake up when it’s dark out.
Maybe I should start eating a turkey sandwich at night. I just don’t have a turkey and it's a lot of trouble to cook one for sandwiches. But...they are my favorite part of the turkey, the sanwich, that is.
The lights in my kitchen are out so I’m sort of sitting in the dark. I need to get some light bulbs. I’m not good at handling all of this crap. The string thing that turns on and off the light in the dining area broke right off. Luckily, the lights were on when it did so now I just turn the light bulbs when I want to turn them on. I use one of the most useful pieces of advice that I’ve ever heard, and if you haven’t heard this, it helps when you are trying to turn anything, screw anything, or open anything...Lefty loosy, righty tighty. No one told me that until recently and I didn’t know they had universalized everything, that was smart of them. Was there a meeting? Were there people who wanted to do it the other way? Was the rhyme thing the kicker? If lefty had rhymed with tighty, would we be turning things the other ways? How does that work in Paris? Did they rhyme tighty and loosy in all of the other languages too? And if not, how do they know which way to turn things? I wonder about such things. I have to thank my father for telling me that...but it would have saved me a LOT of trouble if he had told me that when I first started driving. I could never get the gas caps off, I turned them both ways and couldn’t get them opened and eventually had to find a man to get them off. Gas station attendants everywhere must wonder what happened to me. I just learned that little rhyme and I’ve been opening my own gas caps ever since.
Oh great. My ringer was off on my phone all night. Some nit wit friend of my sons’ called and he said he didn’t want to answer the phone so he turned the ringer off and never turned it back on. There’s an out of area call on there and I don’t know who it was. Now, that’ll make you curious, won’t it? Life was so much easier when we were oblivious to missed phone calls. Now we all have to get our messages and give other numbers on our answering machines so people can call us when we aren’t at home. Why? I hate talking on the phone. And what’s worse, I don’t know how to get big time talkers off so I sit there wishing I could hhhmm and haw like Rick did when I was talking. You men are good at pretending to listen. When I try that, someone always says, “What do you think?” and then I’m stuck.
I just heard that a snake tried to eat an alligator in Florida and the snake exploded because the alligator was so much bigger than he was. That little Asian guy who wins the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest year after year ought to pay attention to that.
Well, I'm gonna go primp for the judge, I hope it's a nice guy, I hate mean people.
Meg
...called Solaris, and George Clooney picked up some hot chick and did the horizontal bop with her the night they met. I think it was the night they met, there was some reference to a train but I missed that. One way or another, it was pretty damned fast after meeting. Why is it that when movie folks screw each other the night they meet it’s considered sexy but if we do it, it’s pretty skanky?
It’s guys that make it skanky. We women could get it on and remain friends, carry on a relationship and everything like that but dudes tend to bolt if you bed them too soon. So, that’s why we don’t...DUH. The movie’s back on and the dead chick is in a futuristic holding area of some sort asking George why he won't let her out. As I’ve said, I miss my mother but if she walked into my kitchen, I’d have to run away. If there was some official ceremony at a church that brought her back, then it would probably be OK, but barring that, I couldn’t handle her just walking in on me. I bet my sister could though, now the two of them can wonder which one of them I’m talking about.
OK, I fell asleep watching that movie and now I don’t know why the dead wife was on the space ship. I hate that. And NO! Don’t tell me, I’ll see it again sometime. So, here I am up at 4 am again. Well, that’s sort of a good thing because I have to go to traffic court today. That’s so much fun. I know I seem to go a lot but I promise, I’m slowing down now.
I don’t know what to wear. I want to wear jeans, but they tend to frown on that. At least Judge Judy does. I have a couple of outfits that are appropriate, but I can’t stand getting dressed up early in the morning. Especially when I’m not even going to have any fun.
I wonder why everyone wears western style clothing? Why not lederhosen? Why not a sari? Hawaiian crap would be more comfortable. It’s a good thing those foot binding things never took off, I like big comfortable shoes, and no, I’m not gay, I just hate a bunion.
Well, it’s still dark, I don’t know how my circadian rhythm is handling all of this. It all started when I kept getting up in the middle of the night to eat a bowl of cereal. I guess Snap spoke to Crackle, Crackle spoke to Pop and Pop told my brain and now my brain thinks it’s supposed to wake up when it’s dark out.
Maybe I should start eating a turkey sandwich at night. I just don’t have a turkey and it's a lot of trouble to cook one for sandwiches. But...they are my favorite part of the turkey, the sanwich, that is.
The lights in my kitchen are out so I’m sort of sitting in the dark. I need to get some light bulbs. I’m not good at handling all of this crap. The string thing that turns on and off the light in the dining area broke right off. Luckily, the lights were on when it did so now I just turn the light bulbs when I want to turn them on. I use one of the most useful pieces of advice that I’ve ever heard, and if you haven’t heard this, it helps when you are trying to turn anything, screw anything, or open anything...Lefty loosy, righty tighty. No one told me that until recently and I didn’t know they had universalized everything, that was smart of them. Was there a meeting? Were there people who wanted to do it the other way? Was the rhyme thing the kicker? If lefty had rhymed with tighty, would we be turning things the other ways? How does that work in Paris? Did they rhyme tighty and loosy in all of the other languages too? And if not, how do they know which way to turn things? I wonder about such things. I have to thank my father for telling me that...but it would have saved me a LOT of trouble if he had told me that when I first started driving. I could never get the gas caps off, I turned them both ways and couldn’t get them opened and eventually had to find a man to get them off. Gas station attendants everywhere must wonder what happened to me. I just learned that little rhyme and I’ve been opening my own gas caps ever since.
Oh great. My ringer was off on my phone all night. Some nit wit friend of my sons’ called and he said he didn’t want to answer the phone so he turned the ringer off and never turned it back on. There’s an out of area call on there and I don’t know who it was. Now, that’ll make you curious, won’t it? Life was so much easier when we were oblivious to missed phone calls. Now we all have to get our messages and give other numbers on our answering machines so people can call us when we aren’t at home. Why? I hate talking on the phone. And what’s worse, I don’t know how to get big time talkers off so I sit there wishing I could hhhmm and haw like Rick did when I was talking. You men are good at pretending to listen. When I try that, someone always says, “What do you think?” and then I’m stuck.
I just heard that a snake tried to eat an alligator in Florida and the snake exploded because the alligator was so much bigger than he was. That little Asian guy who wins the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest year after year ought to pay attention to that.
Well, I'm gonna go primp for the judge, I hope it's a nice guy, I hate mean people.
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 2:23 AM
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