Dear Meg,
“...im 21 years old and i can make any woman happy. i know you really want one of us young men who know how to make you happy and make all of your freinds jealous of you. im well endowed and i have blue ribbed rubbers that will drive you crazy with ectasy....give me one reason why not...
If I hadn’t heard so many young “men” saying things like that, I would think that this email was a joke. But, for some reason, they DO seem to think that “mature” women such as myself are out there wishing we had a young studly man to “make our friends jealous.” I would be humiliated to tears if one of my friends caught me with a child. When I was 15, my friends might have been envious of me if I had a 21 year old, but ever since then, my friends know what I know...men who have been around for a while, preferably married in the past, are of far more use to a woman than any 21 year old could ever hope to be.
And...by the way there, youngin’...a 21 year old boy with a “blue ribbed rubber” is kind of like a bad pitcher with a paisley mitt.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...give me a man who is at LEAST 40 years old and I’ll be happy. I discovered the value of men of that age long before blue ribbed rubber dude was born. Asking me for ONE reason why I have to decline the young man’s offer is like asking me to name my favorite movie...many come to mind immediately, but the list goes on and on.
First and foremost...although having sex with someone 26 years my senior may not be illegal, it SEEMS like an act of pedophilia. While I may not obey all of the traffic laws that are on the books, I do avoid committing felonies every single day of my life. Not because I’m afraid of jail, I’m not...but because I’m not a criminal. I wouldn’t do things that would get me tossed in the back of a squad car. I wouldn’t break into someone’s house, I wouldn’t hold up a liquor store and I wouldn’t screw some woman’s 21 year old baby. And there IS a woman out there somewhere who thinks that this guy is her baby.
It’s not that I wouldn’t hang out with a young man, I've had some fun with a few of them during this past year. But they all have the same problem as any man has without the maturity to handle it...they get all whiny and man-like. They bitch because you absent-mindedly took off your shirt near an open window or lost the car keys or broke the yolk or some such stupid shit and then they show you exactly how WRONG it is to be with such a young person. Only another young person would put up with that crap. Or an embarrassingly horny old man of course. They act like one of your kids only you can’t send them to their rooms or ground them. If you spank them, it isn’t corporal punishment, it’s some sort of domestic violence charge.
And on top of all of THAT...they AREN’T any good in the sack. If I had a few months to train one it’d be different. But I couldn’t put up with two Man Temper Tantrums, I’d be gone after the first one. And there is NOT a man on this planet who can avoid two assinine temper tantrums for any length of time. The difference is that the older men are USUALLY smart enough to shut up and walk away when they start acting all Man. A younger man turns red and has bulging blood vessels in his forehead. I wouldn’t mind if that happened during sex...but it’s not a good look for a fully clothed man.
Rick was in his twenties...maybe...let me think about this...24...when he was so very proud of his 6 hump marathon. It certainly was a VAST improvement over the previous attempts...but nothing plus nearly nothing is still just a shower I have to TAKE for nothing.
All in all, I would rather just wait for a 40 year old man. I happen to know where one is. I’m gonna go get me some of THAT. That poor guy. (She said as she cackled like the Wicked Witch of Whatever the hell the mean one was.):):)
See ya,
Meg
“...im 21 years old and i can make any woman happy. i know you really want one of us young men who know how to make you happy and make all of your freinds jealous of you. im well endowed and i have blue ribbed rubbers that will drive you crazy with ectasy....give me one reason why not...
If I hadn’t heard so many young “men” saying things like that, I would think that this email was a joke. But, for some reason, they DO seem to think that “mature” women such as myself are out there wishing we had a young studly man to “make our friends jealous.” I would be humiliated to tears if one of my friends caught me with a child. When I was 15, my friends might have been envious of me if I had a 21 year old, but ever since then, my friends know what I know...men who have been around for a while, preferably married in the past, are of far more use to a woman than any 21 year old could ever hope to be.
And...by the way there, youngin’...a 21 year old boy with a “blue ribbed rubber” is kind of like a bad pitcher with a paisley mitt.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again...give me a man who is at LEAST 40 years old and I’ll be happy. I discovered the value of men of that age long before blue ribbed rubber dude was born. Asking me for ONE reason why I have to decline the young man’s offer is like asking me to name my favorite movie...many come to mind immediately, but the list goes on and on.
First and foremost...although having sex with someone 26 years my senior may not be illegal, it SEEMS like an act of pedophilia. While I may not obey all of the traffic laws that are on the books, I do avoid committing felonies every single day of my life. Not because I’m afraid of jail, I’m not...but because I’m not a criminal. I wouldn’t do things that would get me tossed in the back of a squad car. I wouldn’t break into someone’s house, I wouldn’t hold up a liquor store and I wouldn’t screw some woman’s 21 year old baby. And there IS a woman out there somewhere who thinks that this guy is her baby.
It’s not that I wouldn’t hang out with a young man, I've had some fun with a few of them during this past year. But they all have the same problem as any man has without the maturity to handle it...they get all whiny and man-like. They bitch because you absent-mindedly took off your shirt near an open window or lost the car keys or broke the yolk or some such stupid shit and then they show you exactly how WRONG it is to be with such a young person. Only another young person would put up with that crap. Or an embarrassingly horny old man of course. They act like one of your kids only you can’t send them to their rooms or ground them. If you spank them, it isn’t corporal punishment, it’s some sort of domestic violence charge.
And on top of all of THAT...they AREN’T any good in the sack. If I had a few months to train one it’d be different. But I couldn’t put up with two Man Temper Tantrums, I’d be gone after the first one. And there is NOT a man on this planet who can avoid two assinine temper tantrums for any length of time. The difference is that the older men are USUALLY smart enough to shut up and walk away when they start acting all Man. A younger man turns red and has bulging blood vessels in his forehead. I wouldn’t mind if that happened during sex...but it’s not a good look for a fully clothed man.
Rick was in his twenties...maybe...let me think about this...24...when he was so very proud of his 6 hump marathon. It certainly was a VAST improvement over the previous attempts...but nothing plus nearly nothing is still just a shower I have to TAKE for nothing.
All in all, I would rather just wait for a 40 year old man. I happen to know where one is. I’m gonna go get me some of THAT. That poor guy. (She said as she cackled like the Wicked Witch of Whatever the hell the mean one was.):):)
See ya,
Meg
posted by Meg Kelso | 7:12 AM
1 Comments:
sigh. Say it, woman! I'll take age and experience over youth and enthusiasm any day. I am convinced this alleged "Cougar" phenomena was conceptualized by some 14 yr. old/Hollywood Adolescent (same thing) who saw "The Graduate" a few too many times.
And rubber isn't "Plastics." And a blue rubber would have me screaming first in horror, and then on the phone dialing 911 as in my experience any extremity this color is about to DIE if it hasn't already.
TW
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