I just went to my dating profile...

...to check my emails and there’s no shortage of men out there. I don’t know if I’m just getting better at figuring them out or if they’re getting worse at shoveling the bullshit. One way or another, they are kind of funny. And...they are rather predictable. This online dating crap is an excellent way to study the testosterone induced. It’s sort of like a crash course in bullshit detection.

Most of them pretty much use the same techniques...some of those are actually quite creative but the majority of them are just plain stupid. Men seem to think that women think like they do...and we don’t. We are not impressed with a boob at all.

But, some of them seem to think that a little titty is nice which I find odd.

Now...I’m not particularly fond of cowboy hats, but put one on a man with tits...and I just might have to jump that bad boy.

Back in the day when I did quiet men I might have appreciated this guy:

WANT SOME

But now I prefer a man who uses pronouns.

Many men seem to think that they have to reassure me that they don’t mind my “AGE”...I never bring it up myself. I don’t really get a chance to think about it before they say things like:

I also tend to date older women because they tend to have their shit together where younger women do not.

OK little dude...keep your pants on.

If I had to teach a bunch of men How to Get Laid 101 based upon what I’ve experienced thus far since me hubby left me...I would have to stress a few things like buying a motorcycle, mentioning your “endowments”, and spelling the word "come" with a U. Men seem to think that these are pretty good woman seeking tools and I don't get that. You guys say that we confuse YOU! Well...I just have one question...

WHY?

What in the world would make a man choose a picture of himself wallowing with swine to use as bait to attract women? What does he do on the first date...fart Yankee Doodle Dandy? Men.

Apparently, women like to hear the word HOT...and often. I had noticed that a lot of men have been using that term...the same men who wallow with swine...when I got an email from Rick telling me that I looked “hot”.

Imagine my surprise. I’ve known this man for 25 years and he has never, ever used that word in my presence before unless he was referring to the capsaicin levels in the Mexican food that I’d prepared. So, you have to call women “hot” often. And apparently, you must mention her eyes. Crap like “when I look into your eyes, I feel like I’m drowning in a pool of your soul” gets tossed around quite a little bit. I don't know why, that doesn’t even make sense.

The disparity between what a man thinks that a woman wants and what a women really DOES want is huge. No wonder everybody is all screwed up. Men are rocking when we want them to roll. And they seem to sprinkle a little bit of salt just as we decide that we’d like a little pepper.

Oh well. I’m so glad that I kept that profile...I would have missed pig man. Who knows, a little bit more of this here abstinence crap and I might just oink in his direction.

See ya,

Meg